CHAPTER 14: Your Taxi Is Here

MOTEL 7, 1979

Life was a blur.

That’s the way it was when the Pooled Resources Tour rolled into Canberra. We pulled up to another motel for another show. The tour was Cold Chisel with The Angels and Flowers, soon to become Icehouse. Both were good bands but both were boring as batshit to hang around with after shows.

Their idea of a good night was smoking pot, drinking tea and singing Mamas & Papas songs. Mine was slightly different. We settled into our rooms and I tried to work out how to shake the cobwebs off from the night before.

Before long there was the sound of laughter coming from The Angels’ room. I was a bit bored by this time, so I decided to walk into the room and see what was going on.

That was when it happened. It was four o’clock in the afternoon, 29 November 1979. I remember it like it was yesterday.

Sitting in the corner of the room, not saying a word, was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. She looked like a princess, not someone you would see in the Motel 7 in the outer suburbs of Canberra. But it wouldn’t have mattered where I’d seen her. The impact would have been the same. I couldn’t take my eyes off her.

Her hair was long and dark and her fringe was almost covering her beautiful eyes. I sat waiting for a sound to leave her mouth. A mouth that was slightly pouted, her beautiful, slightly buck teeth biting her top lip as if she didn’t really want to be there.

But here she was. She never said a word. She never even looked at me, I don’t think she even knew I was in the room. My heart was racing, I had to leave the room for a minute so I could breathe.

Who was she? How was I going to get to talk to her? Would she want to talk to someone as horrible as me? Not a chance. Girls like her weren’t meant to be with guys like me.

I went back into the room, just as Buzz Bidstrup, The Angels’ drummer, said, ‘Hey Jimmy, we’re going to head down to the gig soon. Oh, by the way, this is Victoria and Jane, some friends of ours. Jane’s come down from Sydney to see the show. And this is Jimmy. Jimmy sings with Cold Chisel.’

‘We’re just going to throw the Frisbee around a bit then head to the gig,’ Buzz announced. I was hungover and the last thing I wanted to do was run around throwing a Frisbee. Cold Chisel didn’t throw Frisbees. The Angels did.

‘Do you mind if I join you?’ I was suddenly interested in exercise.

‘Sure man, come on.’ Buzz was always friendly with everyone. So out we went and threw a small plastic disk around the hotel carpark for a short while.

Jane never spoke to me at all. I don’t think she even noticed me. I wanted to be nice and happy and maybe catch her attention but it never happened. It wasn’t long until I’d had enough of Frisbee and went back to my room. But I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about her.

I’d met a lot of girls in my life but no one had ever stopped me in my tracks like that girl, that day. Her name was Jane Mahoney, not a very exotic name for a girl so mysterious. I later found out that she was born in Thailand and she moved to Canberra when she was five years old.

She was brought up by her mother, Kusumphorn, a strikingly beautiful woman in her own right and her stepfather John, who was a diplomat and a gentleman.

Not only did she speak five languages but she spoke better English than I did. She was way out of my class but I loved her from the minute I saw her. Jane would change my life.

That night we played at the Showground Pavilion. After our show, I was standing side of stage watching The Angels when suddenly there she was. The girl from the room, the one who didn’t speak to me or look at me. Now she was standing right next to me. I tried to be cool. This wasn’t something I was good at. I’d never been cool.

I looked over and she was looking straight at me.

‘Hi.’

She smiled at me. That was cool. I wondered what to say next.

‘Did you like the show?’

The music was screaming so loud off the stage she could hardly speak. She nodded her head.

Had I really said that? I had to get it together, quickly. ‘Do you go out with one of these guys?’ I was shouting just as the song abruptly finished. ‘Sorry.’ I lowered my voice and motioned towards The Angels. Why had I asked that? I was digging a hole.

‘No,’ she said in a matter of fact way.

‘Great, ah sorry, I mean, oh.’ I was fumbling for words. I took a deep breath and quickly removed both my feet from my mouth. ‘What are you doing after the show?’ Oh my God, that was dumb.

Luckily for me she seemed a lot more confident than I was. She looked at me and said, ‘We’re having a few drinks later at my friend’s house, would you like to come?’

She smiled at me. I almost melted.

From that first minute I saw Jane, I put myself under pressure. I wanted to be the best I could be. I wanted to be someone that she liked. I wanted to be better than I thought I really was. So I tried and I tried, but the other me, the wild one, kept shining through.

I called her as soon as I got back to Sydney, a few days later. ‘Hi, it’s me, Jimmy. Remember, you gave me your number in Canberra.’

‘Oh yes. How are you?’ She sounded warm and friendly.

‘I was wondering if you wanted to catch up some time. You said you might.’

‘Yes. All right. That would be nice.’

‘I’m having a bit of a party at my place at Kensington. I was hoping you might want to come. You know, you said you wanted to catch up. Say hello.’

I was nervous. What if she really didn’t want to? What if she’d changed her mind and didn’t like me after all? I could understand that. I mean, I didn’t like me much.

‘I’d love to come. I’ll see you about eight or so.’

That was the time normal people had parties. But I wanted to see her before anyone else turned up.

‘Why not come a little earlier and we can sit and talk. If you like. But you don’t have to. I was just saying it would be nice.’

‘I’ll see you then.’

She was gone. Shit, I couldn’t believe it. I was going to see her. I’d better clean up my room.

I was sharing the house with Bernadette. I had gone out with Bernadette for a short time but it hadn’t really worked out. The problem was, I hadn’t really told her that it hadn’t worked out and I wasn’t sure she understood that we weren’t still going out. I mean, we lived in the same house, but that didn’t necessarily mean we were still going out, did it?

That night in bed I tried to bring it up and that’s when it dawned on me. We were still sharing a room. A bed. Shit, she doesn’t know. How could she? I was going to have to talk it over with her before Saturday.

Bernadette took the news well. I think she was relieved in fact. I was too wild for her. She moved into the spare room as soon as we spoke. Things seemed to get a little better between us from then on. She looked happy again. It was nice. So that made me relax. I didn’t mean to hurt anybody and I was so glad that things went well.

That’s when the phone rang.

‘Hi.’ It was Jan. I had been seeing her on and off for a long time.

‘Er, hi.’ I didn’t think that Jan thought we were going steady either. So that wasn’t a problem.

‘I’m in town for a few days and I thought I’d stay with you.’

‘Ah, yeah, sure. That’s cool.’

‘Only if you want me to. If it’s a hassle just tell me.’

‘No-no-no, that would be great. When are you getting here?’

I was slowly starting to panic.

‘I arrive Saturday afternoon. I heard you guys were having a party and I thought I’d surprise you.’

I was in trouble. How had I got this all so wrong? I really wanted to see Jane but I hadn’t counted on all this confusion. What would Jane think of me? What was I going to do?

“WE SKIP FORWARD TWO DECADES - AND 27 CHAPTERS — TO A VERY DIFFERENT STAGE IN JIMMY’S LIFE; THE SYDNEY OLYMPICS AND HIS SPIRALLING DRUG ABUSE.”

CHAPTER 41: World Record Time

OLYMPIC STADIUM, 2000

Even before the Sydney 2000 Olympics I was running on empty.

If they had drug-tested me when I sang at the closing ceremony, they would have thought I was in the Bulgarian weightlifting team. Uppers, downers, all-rounders. You name it, I had it in my system. I was on a downhill slide that just kept going down. I was shaking and sweating as I walked to the stage.

I had been smoking hashish and snorting coke in the dressing room. A dressing room that I shared, by the way, with three great Australians. Slim Dusty, Greg Norman and Paul Hogan had no idea what was going on in that room or they would have run a mile in world record time. This made me feel even worse about the state I was in. I couldn’t look at them when we were introduced to each other.

It was going to take me a while to find a sound that would work for this show. My voice was a little shredded. But somehow I managed to get away with it. I seemed to get away with a lot. I don’t think that people, the police or the public in general, turned a blind eye. I just think that they all wanted the best from me. They liked me and didn’t expect me to be such a fuck-up.

That night was one of the highest points and also one of the lowest points in my public life. The whole of Australia, and a lot of the world, watched me as I struggled through my performance.

Not long after that Jane found a house to rent in Vaucluse. I think she was moving into it with or without me. But somehow I managed to stick with her and we moved in together. And things went from bad to worse.

The first thing I would do when I woke up, no matter what time it was, was to swallow a handful of Nurofen Cold & Flu tablets with a few Aspro Clear in a glass of water. That was breakfast.

This would take down the swelling enough to allow me to shove the first line of coke up the passages of my nose, which by this time, along with my liver and kidneys, were pleading for mercy.

As soon as my nose cleared I would chop out a line. Not just a little line like a normal drug addict, but a massive one. Half a gram of coke at least. And then, bang, the world would light up. My eyes would weep as the coke, which was normally cut with all sorts of shit — speed, sugar, even crushed glass — would hit me like a hammer.

I would have to sit for a moment, to make sure I wasn’t going to die right then and there. Then I would shake my head and fall out of bed.

Working Class Man by Jimmy Barnes, published by Harper Collins, available from October 23.