Tara Dawes speaks out on sexual abuse suffered at 13 by Antoni Nduwimana

The Adelaide child sexual abuse survivor says the man who abused her has never shown a hint of remorse.

Tara Dawes was abused by Antoni Nduwimana from the age of 13 while a student at Woodville High School. Picture: RoyVPhotography

Tara Dawes was just 13 and months into her first year of high school when she received a Facebook friend request that would change her life completely.

Ms Dawes had crossed paths with 19-year-old Woodville High student Antoni Jason Nduwimana, who started grooming her online almost immediately.

“I got home and he found me on Facebook and sent me a friend request almost immediately,” Ms Dawes, now 22, said.

“I would see him at school every day, hang out near him and his friends but we never hung out together or talked properly at school besides the public flirting across the schoolyard.

“He would only talk to me properly over Facebook … people knew, and were talking about it, so he tried to keep the relationship hidden as much as possible by keeping the conversation to social media.”

Within a week of meeting Nduwimana, the two began a “relationship”, which quickly turned into sexual, and eventually led to Ms Daws falling pregnant at just 13.

“He asked how old I was and I said that I was 13 turning 14 and he still continued the conversation after that,” she said.

“He also asked me if I was a virgin, and complimenting my body/bum after seeing me around the schoolyard, telling me he was always watching me around the school, getting jealous when he would see me around school with other boys.”

Online conversations escalated as Nduwimana began visiting Ms Dawes at home.

“The first time he ever came to my house, was the first time it ever happened … I didn’t want to, it was very forceful,” she said.

Tara Dawes was abused by Antoni Nduwimana from the age of 13. Picture: RoyVPhotography

“It was overwhelming … it was a pretty quick jump from never having a boyfriend in my life, to pretty well, in one week in to losing my virginity.”

Blame became a tool of the abuse, with Nduwimana blaming his desires on Ms Dawes modesty efforts.

“I used to wear these little like Nike shorts under my school dress, just so people don’t see my underwear and he said to me if I didn’t want to have sex why was I trying to coerce him by wearing like Nike shorts,” she said.

Four month in to the abuse Ms Dawes fell pregnant with her son, and Nduwimana began pressuring her to terminate and weaponising the child against her.

“(I was told) “look what you have done … you have made a silly mistake”, not seeing that I was a 13-year-old child, and this is an adult,” Ms Dawes said.

“Now you guys want me to go through something that would have been really traumatic, a termination, when it wasn’t my fault.”

Healthcare providers started raising red flags and a SAPOL investigation was launched.

“(I) was let down in the situation because nobody wanted to come forward and say, this is not okay,” she said.

Tara Dawes, then 14, with her son. Picture: Supplied

Tara Dawes, then 14, with her newborn son. Picture: Supplied

“Somebody could have stopped this from happening, the school could have pulled me aside, pulled him aside, pulled someone out.

“That’s why I feel like I’ve been shoved under a rug for the last eight years … nobody’s checked in, nobody’s cared how I was doing.”

In a statement, an education department spokesman said records showed the school had been in contact with Ms Dawes’ mother at the time and a mandatory notification had been made in 2016.

“This process involved both the Principal being notified and a report being made by phone to the child protection line. SAPOL was also notified through this process.

“The records indicate that the school was in contact with Ms Dawe’s mother at the time. “Records also show supports were offered and put in place for Ms Dawe with services including referrals to GP, counselling, and other health supports. None of the records speak to how the involvement of social media may have played a part in this matter.”

Ms Dawes said Nduwimana backed off contact and sexually abusing her – which continued through her pregnancy and restarted three weeks post-partum – once the investigation began and school life changed.

“It was just sad, I felt like he was treated the same at school – he still had the same friends, the same support – when I came back to school, I was treated completely differently … I lost all my friends.”

Antoni Jason Nduwimana. Picture: Facebook

Antoni Jason Nduwimana. Picture: Facebook

Nduwimana was later arrested and in 2018, he faced the District Court for his crimes.

He pleaded guilty to one count of sexual intercourse with a person under 14, and two counts of having sexual intercourse with a person under 17.

Ms Dawes said she was not present as her victim impact statement was read out – detailing her trauma, but also her goals for her life and son.

“When they read out my Victim Impact Statement, he laughed in the court,” Ms Dawes said.

But Ms Dawes said she has achieved more for herself than she imagined, receiving a 95 ATAR score after finishing year 12. She is now in the final year of an honours speech pathology degree.

Nduwimana was sentenced to two years and two months imprisonment, with a non-parole period of 12 months.

His sentence was suspended on a two year good behaviour bond – which he has admitted to breaching, and will face sentencing in the Elizabeth Magistrates Court and District Court in November.

“In those two years that he was on good behaviour, I was raising a baby who turned into a toddler,” Ms Dawes said.

“I had all these little titbits of being a parent … while he was going partying, drinking with his friends … nothing to better himself.”

“He has never shown an ounce of remorse.”

Originally published as Tara Dawes speaks out on sexual abuse suffered at 13 by Antoni Nduwimana