Survivor’s powerful words to ex-husband Tony Pietrantonio who was jailed for stalking and assaulting her

A survivor has powerfully told the court how she is trying to rebuild her life after DV, while a judge slammed the thug’s supporters for seeing only what they wanted to see.

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A survivor has told the court she and her children lived in constant state of terror at the hands of the thug who was supposed to love and protect them.

Tony Edward David Pietrantonio, 40, was jailed after a judge slammed him and his supporters for only seeing what they wanted to see in the midst of a domestic` violence epidemic.
In her victim impact statement, the woman said she felt trapped and powerless for so long but hopes telling her story will send a clear message that violence is never acceptable.

During sentencing, the District Court heard Pietrantonio met his wife in 2001 before marrying in 2009 and having two children together.

The court heard there was a background of controlling and violent behaviour in the relationship including an uncharged incident where Pietrantonio choked the victim until she lost consciousness in May 2021.

The victim moved out but came back just before Christmas in December 2021 as she was hopeful Pietrantonio had changed his ways.

Tony Pietrantonio on his wedding day in 2009. Photo: File

In April 2022 they had an argument and the victim packed her bag to leave.

“You stepped in front of her, grabbed her forehead and slammed it into the wall,” Judge Liesl Kudelka said.

The court heard Pietrantonio then began stalking the victim, including following her home and tracking her location.

On another occasion, the victim was sitting in her car when Pietrantonio arrived and verbally abused her, telling her he was “never going to leave her alone”.

The court heard Pietrantonio then reached through the partially open car window and grabbed the victim by the hair before spitting on her.

The court heard the victim located a tracking device under her car in July 2022, before Pietrantonio hurling threatening words at her in another incident in October 2022.

The victim’s powerful words to her abuser:

“The violence we suffered was not just something that happened to us, it’s something we live with everyday,” she said.

“For years we lived in a state of constant terror, every single day I walked on eggshells never knowing what would set him off or how bad it would get.

“I became a shadow of myself trying to keep peace in a home where there was no peace.

“I lost who I was, I lost my voice. I lost my dignity, I lost hope for the future.”

Let down by the system, the victim said

“I felt trapped in a life that seemed like a never-ending nightmare,” she said.

“Bruises and broken bones heal but the fear has not and may never part from my soul.

“My body still flinches at loud noises and I still wake up in the middle of the night in fear.

“Heart racing, thinking I hear his footsteps coming to harm us.

“But what haunts me most is not what I went through but what my children had to see and endure.”

“They witnessed things no child should ever see – they heard yelling, the threats, the sounds of violence.

“They saw me hurt and helpless, unable to protect myself or them.

“I watched their joy and innocence slip away, replaced by fear and confusion.

“They became scared of the dark, scared of strangers and scared of love – because for them, love came with pain.”

“I try to assure them they are safe now but how do you undo the damage that has been done?
“I too feel the weight of the trauma everyday. I feel the shame, the guilt, the question that keeps me awake at night, ‘why didn’t I leave sooner?’

“Why did I let them suffer for so long? And the truth is I was trapped, powerless and so incredibly alone.”

“Even now after leaving, there are moments when I feel like I’m still there, trapped in that house and in a cycle of fear, trapped in my mounting financial debt that constantly threatens our stability.”

Rebuilding their lives

“I am trying to heal but the wounds run so very deep,” the victim said.

“We are trying to rebuild our lives – but we are forever changed.

“We lost our family, our safety, our sense of self. We have lost time we will never get back. Time we should have spent laughing, playing and living without fear.

“We are haunted by what we have been through and I fear that it will always be a shadow over us.

“I ask for justice, not just for me but for my children. They deserve to know that what happened to us was wrong.

“That the pain we suffered matters and there is accountability for the violence that was inflicted upon us.

“By doing this, by being heard I hope we can break the cycle and send a clear message that violence is never OK and enough women and children have suffered.
“Thank you for hearing my story.”

“Wake up”: Judge slams supporters

Judge Kudelka said Pietrantonio’s support network – who wrote several letters describing him as a man of high moral standing with a strong sense of empathy – needed to “wake up”.

“Not a single person in your so-called support network has acknowledged the seriousness of your behaviour,” she said.

“Not a single person has said that they recognise you have a real problem that needs to be addressed and they are going to support you in obtaining professional help towards your rehabilitation.”

Judge Kudelka said one of Pietrantonio's supporters said she had never witnessed or been made aware of domestic violence claims in the 25 years the couple had been together.

“That comment and these letters generally are indeed testimony to the insidious nature of domestic violence,” she said.

“It is so true that what people see on the outside is all they want to see.

“No wonder it was so hard for your wife and women like her to cope with what was going on.”

Pietrantonio, a former Two Wells cafe owner, pleaded guilty to assault and stalking.

Judge Liesl Kudelka said what concerned her the most was that Pietrantonio told the author of the home detention suitability report he believed the charges had been laid because he started a new relationship and he pleaded guilty because “he had to”.

After taking into account the time Pietrantonio had spent in custody, he was sentenced to one year and four months jail, with a non-parole period of four months.

Originally published as Survivor’s powerful words to ex-husband Tony Pietrantonio who was jailed for stalking and assaulting her