Why Danielle Ahearn chose to become a solo mum a decade after losing her baby girl

Danielle’s baby girl Grace died in her arms at just ten months old. Ten years later, the now-solo mum has welcomed her “little miracle” Lily to the world.

When a Nuriootpa woman lost her baby and her long-term relationship broke down, she never imagined she would overcome the tragedy by becoming a solo mum by choice.

Danielle Ahearn welcomed Grace Anderson into the world on Christmas Day 2013 but just 10 months later her baby died in her arms from a genetic disease.

A decade later on February 11, 2024, the 37-year-old gave birth to another daughter – Lily Ahearn with the help of a California sperm donor and IVF.

Nuriootpa mum Danielle Ahearn and Lily five weeks old. Picture: Brenton Edwards

Danielle Ahearn and her baby Grace. Source: Supplied by Danielle Ahearn

It was not long after Grace was born that Ms Ahearn realised something wasn’t right.

“A few months in I noticed she wasn’t passing any of her milestones – like she wasn’t even able to lift up her head. She was what the doctors called ‘a floppy baby’,” she said.

“The doctors said she had spinal muscular atrophy (SMA) which is the childhood version of motor neurone disease.

“Grace had the worst type – type one – so over time I knew it would affect her ability to swallow properly. There was a risk of aspiration and she had to have a nasogastric tube.

“She also had problems breathing, she needed to breathe through her abdomen.”

When Ms Ahearn discovered Grace’s inevitable fate she went into shock and denial.

The mum said she adamantly “refused” to believe the diagnosis and instead searched for clinical trials to save her child but no one would accept Grace due to the severity of her sickness.

“I was so scared, especially because I had a friend whose child had SMA and I remember telling my mum ‘I can’t imagine living through that’ and then – I did,” Ms Ahearn said.

Just three months after receiving the diagnosis Grace died in her mother’s arms and surrounded by family.

Danielle and baby Grace. Source: Supplied by Danielle Ahearn

And Danielle with baby Lily. Picture: Brenton Edwards

“She deteriorated quite quickly and we were told that her lung had collapsed and that we could do surgery, but she might not survive it and if she did, it would collapse again,” Ms Ahearn said.

“Then my partner and I had to make the decision … we couldn’t put her through that, we couldn’t put her through being poked and prodded just for longer suffering.”

The grief was too much for Ms Ahearn and her partner. She slept through most of the following year while Grace’s dad buried himself in work.

They split at the end of 2015.

Ten years on, Ms Ahearn still dreamt of motherhood, so she decided to go it alone using sperm from the California Cryobank.

Her first worry was ensuring the sperm was genetically viable and wouldn’t pass on the SMA gene.

Nine months later, baby Lily – who Ms Ahearn believes Grace chose to be her daughter – arrived happy and healthy.

“I feel so lucky to have Lily, the chances of me falling pregnant after the first round of IVF was a miracle – I like to call her my little miracle,” she said.

“She’s a happy little girl although, sometimes I can’t shake off the feeling that she’s already been here.

“I couldn’t have asked for a better gift.”

Lily is a finalist in the Advertiser’s Cutest Summer Baby Competition, voting is open until 8am on Thursday, March 21.

Originally published as Why Danielle Ahearn chose to become a solo mum a decade after losing her baby girl