What Jennie Ross-King, Julie Tam wished they knew about MDMA
Hindsight can be both a wonderful and cruel thing. But for two grieving mothers it’s the wish of knowing then what they know now about MDMA and its impact that continues to haunt them following the deaths of their children.
The Ripple Effect
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The night before Alexandra Ross-King went to the FOMO music festival, her mother Jennie warned the 19-year-old about drugs.
“I’m not saying you’re going to do anything but kids are dying,” she remembered saying.
Her daughter dismissed her fears,
She died the following day from MDMA toxicity after ingesting three tablets.
If Ms Ross-King could go back in time, she would have the conversation again, this time armed with knowledge.
“She didn’t think what she was going to do was as harmful as it was, none of them do,” she told The Ripple Effect
“She knew more than I did, I had zero education, I’m 45 and I’m the generation of: ‘Just say no’. I wish I had known more about MDMA, then I could have had a proper conversation with her. I could have said to her: ‘It’s going to be a hot day, MDMA can overheat you, so make sure you stay cool’.
“She didn’t know that, her friends didn’t know that, so for me the struggle is not having that information.
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“What we have all learned from the coronial inquest is they all thought they knew what they were doing and what this was doing to their body and how to protect themselves — and they didn’t.
“Half of the friends said: ‘I can’t believe how close I have come to having acute toxicity on previous occasions’.
“They are all dancing in the mosh pit, in the sun, hot and sweaty and, because they have taken what they have taken, or drinking, it doesn’t matter what drug, their mind is not connected to the body to say you are overheating, stop, sit down, relax.
“I just want parents and kids to know how to protect themselves, it is happening, it is normal, people say they don’t want this normalised, it already is normalised,
“Alex is not a one-off, none of our kids were different, or troubled, these kids are no different to any other child.
“Educate yourself on having a conversation, this is the kind of reactions you can have. Just say no, or these drugs kill doesn’t cut it.”
Julie Tam’s 22-year-old son Josh died last December after taking MDMA at the Lost Paradise music festival on the NSW Central Coast.
Mrs Tam had worried about her son taking the road trip down from Brisbane but not about drug-taking.
“I would have discussed drugs,” she told The Ripple Effect this week.
“I would have asked if he was going to take something, where did he get it, did he know the person. “I would have asked a few more questions so that it made him stop and think.
“I would have been much more upfront about it. We hesitate because we try to give them the benefit of the doubt.”
Josh ingested one “rock” of MDMA, which forced his body temperature over 43C and led to a cardiac arrest.
“I would say: ‘Do you realise the effect of the this drug?’.
“I would acknowledge that I do not have control over whether he is going to do it or not.
“I would recommend he did not but I would make sure he knew everything he needed to know about the physical impact it could potentially have on him if he did take it, so that he would be as informed as I am now.
“I would ensure we had ticked that box that he knew all the things we do know now that contributed to his tragedy.
“If only we and he knew ahead of time of the split-second decision that would change the course of our lives forever. If only I had the informed understanding I now know, Josh would be here with me right now. I know it.”