Ellidy Pullin opens up about grief and joy ahead of baby’s birth

Chumpy Pullin’s pregnant widow Ellidy Pullin has opened up about the joy and new-found grief that comes with bringing a baby into the world without her soulmate by her side.

Ellidy Pullin, widow of Gold Coast snowboard champion Alex “Chumpy” Pullin, has opened up about the joy and grief that comes with bringing their baby into the world, with her due date set for this month.

An emotional Pullin told her friend Chloe Fisher on their Darling, Shine! podcast that her “best moment in the world” would also bring new-found grief, with the baby due one year and three months after Chumpy’s shock death.

Ellidy Pullin, widow of Olympic snowboarder Alex 'Chumpy' Pullin. Picture: Instagram

The 32-year-old drowned in July last year while he was spearfishing at Palm Beach on the Gold Coast, understood to have been from a shallow water blackout.

Ms Pullin conceived his child after undergoing IVF using his sperm which was retrieved posthumously.

She said she would be grieving for Chumpy who was missing out on the life he had dreamt of but the baby would be ‘saving my own life’ and ‘saving Chumpy’s life in a sense that I’m bringing part of him back’.

“My grief is for Chump, he’s missing out on being a dad, I see dads with their babies knowing how good he would have been,” she said.

She said the couple would always walk on the beach and see families walking with dads holding babies, reminiscing on Chumpy telling her he could not wait to have his own child.

“Every day I go to the beach and I see guys walking along the beach with their chicks and the guy is carrying the baby in the carrier on his chest and the girl’s got the dog.”

“When I see a dad with a baby it f***ing kills me, and I am so happy for that person, it’s not a pity party here.

“I’m having a baby which is going to be the most beautiful thing ever and bittersweet in that it’s almost going to create more trauma here and there,” she told the podcast.

“It’s really hard to swallow the fact that he’s missing this, he deserves this time, he wanted this, he would have been the best dad.”

Alex 'Chumpy' Pullin with partner Ellidy Pullin - Photo Supplied Instagram

“Think about the birthdays, the first birthday, all the little milestones like the first word, first steps and everything, I’ll just want to call him and talk to him.”

Pullin said she believed Chumpy would be there in the family’s own way.

“Having this child and the joy that it’s going to bring will always override any sort of pain and grief I’m feeling but the two have to coexist.”

“I know I’m embarking on this crazy journey and I’m saving my own life, saving Chumpy’s life in a sense that I’m bringing part of him back and I guess saving this child’s life because I’m going to give this baby the best life in the world.”

“It’s going to be the most beautiful crazy thing ever, I can’t believe it’s my life.”

Originally published as Ellidy Pullin opens up about grief and joy ahead of baby’s birth