Nikki Osborne on the ultimate status symbol at home

Forget Range Rovers and mansions - these everyday luxe buys have become the new markers of success for aspirational Aussies, Nikki Osborne writes.

Nikki Osborne. Picture: Peter Wallis

Success, as they say, is hard to measure.

What are the markers that make one successful? Is it money? Is it assets? Is it living a comfortable life with a happy family? Or for real estate agents, is it owning the latest white Range Rover with your name on the rego?

We could go back and forth and chip away at this debate all day and get bogged down in philosophy or, instead, I can just tell you.

● I’ve always bought my tonic water in the one litre bottles. One litre for $2.69?! Don’t mind if I doooo. I’d pat myself on the back for being thrifty even though I knew I’d only get one fizzy G&T that night and it’ll be as flat as a tack for the next five days. Until recently.

Oh that’s right, I eyeballed those little individual craft tonic bottles, and after taking a quick check of my bank balance I went f--k it, I’m a successful woman, I DRINK THOSE OVER-PRICED, SINGLE-USE MINI BOTTLES THAT COME IN A PACK OF FOUR NOW!

And as that four-pack of individual bottles rattled along that conveyor belt I had a sense of accomplishment. Then when the checkout chick went to scan it and said with a knowing look “fancy”, I flicked my goddamn hair. I’d made it.

Aesop products in the guest room are the ultimate flex.

● Buying Aesop. I’d never heard of Aesop until 2017. I won Fashions on the Field at the Magic Millions Polo. Now I know that sounds la de dah but I was a broke actor. There I was, posing with some handsome Argentinian world champion and Zara Tindall for a shoot for Vogue in an outfit slung together from Strandbags and Forever New. I had major imposter syndrome.

But wait til you hear what the prize was … it was an all expenses paid trip to Qualia on Hamilton Island.

Well, well, well, was that an eye opener. Not only was I sent to a resort I’d never fathom paying for, but it was my introduction to the skincare product Aesop. I was taking a shower in my pebble-lined outdoor shower and there were the two little sample bottles.

“I’ll give those a crack,” I thought to myself as I squeezed a dollop of what smelled like a day spa into my hand. As I started to lather that liquid gold into my hair, I knew something magical was happening. Then when I dried off my hair, I was a changed woman.

I quickly yelled out to my husband: “Jeremy, this is good shit, let’s get some”!

So we wandered up to the day spa to make the purchase. Then they told me the price. “Does it cure cancer too?” I asked. This was an extravagance I could ill afford. My husband agreed we’d buy it just this once so we didn’t look like lost poor people but that would be it. Until now. I’m an Aesop bitch now, baby. I buy the shampoo. The moisturiser. I even buy the hand soap, but I put that in the guest powder room as a flex. We ladies know that powder room Aesop is a grab at status. It says: I know it’s expensive. I know it’s just soap but I’m so successful I’m gonna waste it on your peasant hands anyway.

Columnist Nikki Osborne.

● And finally, paying for parking. Remember those days of driving through all the back blocks searching for free parks in front of what often looked like a drug den then clutching your handbag, holding your breath and bolting through the dark to the safety of your destination?

Those days are behind me now. Oh that’s right, I pre-book paid parking close to the event and strut in like I’m Rihanna. I can afford safety. Now that’s success.

What about you? What are those little flexes of success?

Originally published as Nikki Osborne on the ultimate status symbol at home