Tim Blair: Global virus outbreak spawns a pandemic of Karens
Combine a global virus outbreak with social-distancing regulations and officious folk who love bossing people around, and you’ve got yourself a Karen problem, writes Tim Blair.
Opinion
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Scolds will always be with us.
We usually take care of these disapproving morality cops by safely confining them to the host’s seat on Media Watch, or by appointing them to the Australian Press Council.
But coronavirus lockdowns and other restrictive measures have lately vastly empowered the global scolding movement. Behold the planet’s Karens, defined last year in the New York Times by Sarah Miller as “the policewomen of all human behaviour”.
The Atlantic magazine this month reported: “Their defining essence is ‘entitlement, selfishness, a desire to complain’,’’ according to Heather Suzanne Woods, a meme researcher and professor at Kansas State University.
“A Karen ‘demands the world exist according to her standards with little regard for others, and she is willing to risk or demean others to achieve her ends’.’’
Perhaps you’ve encountered a Karen or two while out shopping, or when otherwise simply going about your daily affairs.
If you’ve been an unmasked individual in an otherwise heavily masked environment, you will have received the stern Karen glare.
A British YouTube video depicts one peak Karen moment. As a cyclist pedals along a path next to a field, he rides past a woman walking towards him.
As they cross, being in each other’s proximity for maybe one-tenth of a second, the Karen admonishes: “That’s not social distancing.”
There are no other people in the shot. Not for miles. Karens just adore rules, even in circumstances where they have absolutely no practical application.
Confounded by Karen’s social distancing admonition, the cyclist can only wonder aloud: “From who?” And then he says something that would definitely get him in trouble with politically-correct or feminist Karens.
Karens also enforce social media regulations. When online conservatives mocked Victorian Premier and Chinese communist asset Daniel Andrews as “Dictator Dan”, Guardian Australia schoolmarm Vanessa Badham read the riot act to her Twitter followers.
“Friends and fans of Daniel Andrews: please do not share the stupid hashtag the Tories are desperate to pin on him, even to condemn it,” Badham ordered.
“This man had fought for our safety – he deserves praise and respect, not unwitting participation in a propadana exercise.”
Note Badham’s unwitting but brilliant coinage of “propadana”, which we may take to mean propaganda in the service of Dan. Such as Vanessa has just provided.
Karens invariably lend a sour note to even the cheeriest of gatherings. A few years ago, US satirist P.J. O’Rourke spoke entertainingly at the Sydney Opera House. Afterwards, he invited questions from the crowd.
Among the first questioners was a deadset Karen who, in a manner typical of her kind, didn’t have a question.
Instead, she admonished O’Rourke for expressing his puzzlement over Australia’s compulsory voting.
You can bet that same woman has been scowling her way through our coronavirus lockdown, probably calling the police every time she suspected an unlawful three-person dinner was under way next door.
Not surprisingly, Karens thrive in leftist environments. A Texan friend who grew up in Houston now lives in the state capital of Austin, an atypically – for Texas – left-aligned zone.
“Austin,” she sighed, after we’d compared notes about meddlesome antics here and in the US, “is the Karen capital of America.”
She’s a Kerry, by the way.
Karens need not be female, of course. Nor do they need to vocalise their disapproval in order to be seen as a Karen. Some achieve this status by other means.
Driving up Sydney’s Albion Street a while back, very late at night with no other cars about, I saw a pedestrian meandering towards a crossing.
If he’d maintained his walking pace, I’d have easily passed through the crossing before he stepped off the footpath.
Realising this, the chap actually sprinted a good 10 metres to the crossing – just so he could force me to stop and allow him to cross at his now-resumed leisurely rate. Thanks for the two flat-spotted Michelins, Karen.
Karens who tempt fate by being officious bores often pay the penalty. Australian Buzzfeed writer Mark Di Stefano, for example, made something of a name for himself working for that company’s British wing.
Being a Karen, Di Stefano set his sights on British YouTubers who violated his sense of decency. One of them had, you see, taught his girlfriend’s adorable puppy to perform Nazi salutes.
This was only a gag, but Di Stefano’s campaign against the fellow led to him being demonetised by YouTube. Similar campaigns against others led to the same outcome.
You can imagine the delight of Di Stefano’s victims, then, when he was recently busted hacking into a Zoom conference conducted by a rival media business. This led to Di Stefano losing his job at the Financial Times, to which he’d moved from Buzzfeed in January.
Beware, Karens of the world. When the wheel turns, it turns hard. We won’t be under coronavirus restrictions forever.
And when those restrictions are lifted, your scoldy ways will still be remembered.