The Ferret: Digging the dirt
Fairfax journalist Kate McClymont has been obsessed with the Daily Telegraph’s coverage of the same sex marriage result. It’s up to The Ferret to lay out some of the facts.
Opinion
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IF ever we needed proof there is no correlation between winning a Walkley Award for excellence in journalism and IQ comes The Sydney Morning Herald’s seer Hall of Famer Kate McClymont.
She has been obsessed with the Tele this week and reckons we’re out of step with our readers. Macca works at a newspaper that is so in touch with public opinion, Fairfax is actively planning to shut it down because so few people buy it.
It sells about a third fewer physical newspapers each day than The Tele, and when you include online readers, the Tele has 230,000 a month more readers who live in NSW.
Good luck finding a cricket team of Herald readers in Greater Sydney. In the wake of the successful marriage vote, McClymont and her outrage cheersquad have worked themselves into a lather over The Tele’s tasteless Al Bundy/Kinky Friedman front page and have been red-faced with anger that the Tele didn’t publish unicorns and rainbows instead.
The Ferret missed the bit in the postal survey about winning the survey also meant you got to choose the front page of The Tele. Putting aside the fact that the Tele strongly and proudly advocated for a Yes vote during the campaign, The Ferret believes a dad joke mocking heterosexual marriage is hardly a crime against diversity.
But nevertheless, lawsuits to one side, McClymont is a big facts person. And here are some worth considering: Of the 1.4 million people who live in EVERY SINGLE Sydney suburb west, from the north to the south, of the ANZAC bridge, 17 electorates in all, a total of 55.5 per cent, that’s 782,548 people, voted no. McClymont said The Tele was a “joyless howler on a day when most people were celebrating a national milestone”.
Well actually Kate, most people in the suburbs of Greater Sydney — unfortunately — were not celebrating at all. But YES Kate, ignore the facts, and stay Independent of reality. Always. (A little fun fact: The Tele sold several thousand more copies on the day.)
CHRIS CROSS AT HACK ATTACK
Oh Christopher, Christopher. How could you?? The Ferret was disgusted, disgusted! to hear that, rather than partying like it’s New Year’s Eve, the Mardi Gras and a new Kylie CD all rolled into one night, you were in bed at 2am, punching out the ZZZs in fact, according to Christopher “squirrel grip” Pyne’s masterful emoji use (showing, the Ferret might note, a certain digital dexterity when it comes to handling a mobile).
Something doesn’t add up here. Sure you were hacked, The Ferret sympathises with you having suffered the odd unwelcome burrow invasion myself, but why go to bed so early on such a momentous night??
OH BROTHER, WHERE ART THOU
How exciting is Christmas going to be this year around at Tony “No Yes Maybe” Abbott’s place??? MASSIVE. The toxic mix of No Brother and Yes Sister, a few glasses of frose and some Christian iconography … you could sell tickets. No go! Christine Forster and her partner are planning to be in NYC over Christmas so she doesn’t have to spend the first festive season under Pink Skies with her brother. Booo.
A BUM RAP IN A CHEEKY EMAIL
Everyone’s favourite ratbag PM Paul “Get a Job” Keating once delighted in “switching to vaudeville” when he was in a spot of bother back in the day. But no more. A member of The Ferret’s extended family stretched a padded-paw this week to invite old PJK to have a chat. Whoa Nelly. Did that end badly.
“I wouldn’t wipe my bum on The Telegraph” came his swift reply. “You can take on the average palukas in public life, but not me.”
When gently pressed via email, the Once Great Man was unrepentant: “I don’t need any cheeky emails. Try the other mugs in Canberra now. I’m about the big issues in public life, not trash and rubbish.”
We just wanted to talk about his old electorate of Blaxland. But fair enough, he probably hasn’t been there in 20 years.
FOSSILS WITH FUTURE
The Ferret has no opinion whatsoever on coal. All I can say is it has come in pretty handy over the years, what with keeping warm and stuff, but you know, it’s a black rock, or brown or whatever, it’s a rock. Imagine if Uluru was made out of coal.
Anyway. According to Ferret friendly uber columnist Miranda Devine, Dopey Don Harwin, one of the G Train’s top factional men has a chief of staff, that’s a mighty title, called Andrew Kirk, who took to Facebook (y tho?) to whinge about coal. “Fossil fuels have no future”.
Just in case you didn’t know, Harwin is our state’s Minister for Resources, the Minister for Energy and Utilities. What a dill. Well it went down a treat with his colleagues.
The Nationals MP for the coal capital, the Upper Hunter, Michael Johnsen, wanted the bloke sacked. “None of us are happy.”
The Deputy Premier John “Yellow Cake” Barilaro wasn’t impressed either, putting loudmouth staffers in place and adding there was a long future for the black stuff. “To say or think anything less than that, borders on stupidity.” Burn!
THAT’S A BIT HASTIE
AWKWARD. War hero Turnbull backbencher Andrew Hastie doesn’t believe in same sex marriage. Turns out that puts him at odds with most of his electorate, and the majority of Australians of course.
He has handled the dilemma beautifully: “Out of respect for the Australian people, I will not be voting against the legislation to change the Marriage Act. Rather, as I have previously said on the public record, it is my intention to abstain because I cannot vote against my conscience.” All good, surely. Well no.
Malcolm “AV Guy” Turnbull has a staffer called Luke Nayna who liaises with backbenchers like Hastie, to keep them happy and in the loop and what not.
It’s not quite as bad as The Veronicas splitting up over the issue, but the adviser’s partner, Jarrod Lomas, did a bit of liaising himself, replying to Hastie’s post with a succinct and very public: “Not good.”
That’s not good is it.