Say no to FOMO, embrace JOMO: The new trend you’re going to love missing out on | Robyn Ingerson
Sometimes it’s nice to have the luxury of a big fat no, writes Robyn Ingerson.
Opinion
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There is nothing better than being in the mosh pit with your offspring – I am sure horrific for them, but so fun for me.
Despite my absolute deep desire at my favourite music festival of the year to wear denim shorts, soft grey, suede cowboy boots and a white flowing boho shirt, accompanied by multiple layers of beads, bangles and a straw cowboy hat, I reluctantly dressed age appropriately in jeans, Adidas runners (pink, of course!), Missoni silk belt and white shirt – comfortable enough to do a jig in the mosh without totally embarrassing said offspring or myself!
In between sets we had lively conversations.
One of my ‘luckies’ – the group of women and men who keep me sane in my often chaotic world – said: “Honestly, I live for JOMO”.
What’s that? The Joy of Missing Out.
Oh. My. God. I love it.
It is the equivalent of taking a deep inhale, down to the pit of your stomach, exhaling, and feeling the joy of not being somewhere.
It is the epitome of being discerning with your golden free time, where you want to go, who you want to spend your time with and just saying a big fat NO.
Of course, you always want to be invited first to then have the luxury of saying ‘no’.
There is power in choosing to miss out.
Choosing alone time over attending an event that is shrouded in obligation, potential confrontation, misalignment, pretence and sometimes awkwardness.
Choosing to disconnect from the constant connectivity.
The antithesis of FOMO – the Fear of Missing Out, the desperation of not participating in events – JOMO celebrates solitude, mindfulness and a more peaceful experience for oneself.
JOMO prioritises personal wellbeing over societal pressures, taking the time to expand knowledge through reading, listening, finding the joy in nature, conservation and wildlife.
I have accidentally been on the JOMO path for some time now, unashamedly disconnecting from a lot of social attendance, often hard when you are involved in such a socially interfacing industry.
However, I find the more selective I am, the more joy I experience, and the greater the reward for a certain connection.
It is healthy to identify what you are not prepared to compromise for your own personal peace.
Working full-time is challenging at any age, but especially at 56.
I look back at being a single mum, working full time, with teenagers who were playing more sport than seemed humanly possible in a seven-day week – football x 3, tennis x 2, volleyball x 2 plus practices, a total of 16 events – including all the washing, feeding and driving.
If only I was aware of JOMO, then I would not have turned myself inside out to participate in things that perhaps did not bring me joy, but made me feel different, struggling at times and mostly stretched.
It’s time to embrace your own JOMO, find what puts the zoom in your broom and enjoy the tonic of saying no to something you really do not want to do.
Robyn ‘Ringo’ Ingerson is a single working mother who likes to ponder on the power of female friendships, surviving menopause and the quest for true love.
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Originally published as Say no to FOMO, embrace JOMO: The new trend you’re going to love missing out on | Robyn Ingerson
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