Picture-gate: It’s not what’s wrong with Kate, it’s what’s wrong with everyone else

Whatever her illness, Kate Middleton is not obliged to share it with us, royalty or not, writes Kerry Parnell. The fact we feel we have a right to know is what’s wrong with this picture.

I can exclusively reveal where Kate is … she’s on a round-the-world scavenger hunt looking for all the marbles everyone has lost. And possibly a new PR chief.

Last I heard, she checked into a hotel in None-of-your-Businessville.

It’s not a case of what is wrong with Kate, it’s what is wrong with everyone else, that we feel we have a right to know?

Whatever her illness is and whatever the cause, she is not obliged to share it with us, royalty or not.

And as for Picture-Gate, well, where do I even begin?

THAT photo: The Photoshopped image of Kate Middleton the Princess of Wales, Prince George, Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis that was released on UK Mother's Day 2024. Picture: Kensington Palace/Instagram

Despite it being something everyone does on social media, the manipulated Mother’s Day photo was a serious misstep, which made the debacle worse.

“That will shut people up, when they see how well Catherine’s looking,” palace aides must have thought.

But her team should have thought a bit harder before releasing that photo, because she looked too good to be true, it turned out.

Picture agencies promptly killed the image and a spokesperson for Agence France-Presse (AFP) compared Kensington Palace to North Korea. Blimey.

A contrite Catherine posted on X, “Like many amateur photographers, I do occasionally experiment with editing. I wanted to express my apologies for any confusion the family photograph we shared yesterday caused.”

It’s a PR disaster for the palace, says crisis communications expert Kerry Parkin of Sway, who suggests the late Queen’s trusted strategy of silence no longer works.

“Operating in a vacuum is not helping. While everyone is entitled to privacy, when you don’t speak, others will,” she says.

It even became a segment on The Late Show, with Stephen Colbert mocking the pair and discussing tabloid rumours alleging William was having an affair. “Oh no, my heart goes out to poor Kate,” he said, for laughs. Hilarious.

I put this collective hysteria down to the fact the Royal Family is the last remaining “out of reach” celebrities. Gone are the supermodels, Hollywood actors and even reality stars, thanks to the democratisation of social media. Even Meghan has decamped, on Thursday launching her website and Instagram page for her new lifestyle brand American Riviera Orchard, with a video showing her baking and wandering about in a ballgown.

“It’s beyond unfortunate that the photograph released in the hope of quelling ridiculous conspiracy theories backfired in such a spectacular way,” says Joe Little, Managing Editor of Majesty magazine.

“As a consequence, the ongoing debate about the veracity of information and images provided by the palaces has got much louder.”

Ironically, most of Catherine’s critics will have been retouching their own photos for years, but presumably that’s permitted. However, with AI images threatening to spin us into a world where we literally don’t believe our eyes, it’s time to get real – all of us.

Why don’t we call an amnesty on altered images?

Remember when The Australian Women’s Weekly launched its anti-airbrush policy, in 2009? Everyone sagely agreed how outrageous it was to retouch celebrity images, until they got handed the tools on their smartphones and suddenly had no qualms whatsoever, shaving waists and erasing wrinkles.

Personally, I think it all a waste of time. I played around with Facetune once and it just made me depressed about getting old.

I’d rather spend my time making memories, than faking them.