Opinion: Lismore murder-suicide of James Harrison and son, 2 – being a dad is a privilege, not a right

Sophie Roome deserved a lifetime of memories with her special little boy. Instead, she now faces the tragic reminder that her ex, a dad expected to be his son’s rock, took it all away in one horrifying instant. Here’s why I’ll be giving my two boys an extra cuddle tonight, writes Sam Stolz.

Photos of a boy killed by his father in a tragic murder suicide in Lismore. Rowan, age 2, whose father James Harrison rigged up a system to poison them both on Sunday 19 May 2024. Rowan pictured with his mum Sophie Roome. Photo: Supplied.

Lismore doctor Sophie Roome deserved a lifetime of memories with her special little two-year-old boy.

Instead, she now faces the constant tragic reminder that her ex, a father expected to be his son’s rock, took everything away in one horrifying instant.

The shocking murder-suicide of James Harrison, 38, and his son Rowan, 2, in Lismore at the weekend is not only one of the most horrendous DV crimes in recent memory, but a devastating wake-up call to every single parent in our country.

Cherish your children with every fibre of your being – and never think for a second that everything will be okay.

James Harrison poisoned himself and his two-year-old son Rowan to death in a tragic murder suicide on Sunday 19 May, 2024 in Lismore, NSW: Photo: Facebook

The country’s shocking DV statistics, in which one Australian woman dies every four days, on average, at the hand of her partner, prompted Prime Minister Anthony Albanese earlier this month to declare it a “national crisis” that warranted a “a complete culture change”.

Across Australia, a reported 17 per cent of women and 5.5 per cent of men have experienced intimate partner violence according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS).

Most victims are women and mostly men have been the perpetrators.

The concerning stats led Mr Albanese to hold a national cabinet emergency meeting on May 1, focusing on domestic and family violence, including bail laws, perpetrator research, and frontline supports.

Police in College St, East Lismore following the discovery of the bodies of a man, 38, and child, 2. Picture: Cath Piltz.

The Federal Labor government’s move to address DV violence came as friends and family of slain Forbes childcare worker Molly Ticehurst continued their push for bail reforms, including electronic ankle monitoring.

Ms Ticehurst, 28, was found dead inside her home during a welfare check, with her ex-partner – Daniel Billings – charged with murder and contravening an apprehended violence order (AVO). The matter is still before the court, with Billings yet to enter a plea.

The community of Forbes held a Mother's Day walking event around Lake Forbes to honour Molly Ticehurst - who was allegedly murdered by her ex-boyfriend. Picture: Dane Millerd

In regards to the Lismore tragedy, The Daily Telegraph revealed on Tuesday Harrison was subject to an AVO to protect Dr Roome.

Dr Roome was supposed to take the happy snaps of Rowan before his first day of school.

She was supposed to see him grow up, fall in love for the first time, suffer his first heartbreak, study his way through high school, land his first job, have his 18th birthday party, go onto uni and one day – have children of his own to love and adore.

All the milestones, failures, setbacks, celebrations and ups and downs parents share with their children.

For Dr Roome, that will now never exist – at least not with Rowan.

And for this journalist, a father of two sons, 2 and 4, it’s the part of the job that hits home the hardest.

Writing about and getting close to crimes involving kids. Horrific deaths of innocents.

Journalist Sam Stolz and his sons, 2 and 4. Picture: Sam Stolz.

To make the cut even deeper, this Lismore man – if you can even call him that – was a dad, a role which should mean protector, rock and hero to their son.

I think of my own father, a gentle ‘good cop’ who was not a fan of confrontation. A man who always came looking for me first whenever I pretended to run away during a tantrum.

I could see him searching with a flashlight as I hid behind a line of Camphor laurel trees not 50 metres from the front door, calling my name to ensure I safely returned home and into his arms again.

Dad – Greg Stolz (a journalist too) – inspired me to do what I do today. They say if your son wants to be just like you, you must have done something right.

It’s forever a fine line being a father. You want to be stern and set your children on the right path but you soften like goo with emotion at every little smile, laugh and delightful quirk your kid offers up – especially at that young age.

Journalist Sam Stolz and his sons, 2 and 4. Picture: Sam Stolz.

I’m not afraid to admit that this thought alone makes me weep.

In the matter of separation, it’s not hard to imagine how difficult life would be without being able to see your kids and the challenges which must surround relationship breakdowns with the other parent.

But what is hard to fathom is how anyone on earth could channel the pain of separation into inflicting harm on the ones we love?

My boys come first, and as deep as the love I have for their mother is, no breakdown, break-up or bust-up could ever change my mind that being a father is a privilege, not a right.

I know I’ll be giving my little ones an extra cuddle tonight.