Old dog needs new schtick: After that Logies, we need to talk about Daryl Somers

As Daryl Somers fumbled through jokes and stunts that fell flat as the Logies reached its climax, it was Gold Logie nemesis Tom Gleeson who called out the elephant in the room.

It took Logies nemesis Tom Gleeson to say what we were all thinking.

As Daryl Somers fumbled and stumbled his way through a series of jokes and stunts that had disaster written all over them from the outset, the cameras panned to a fatigued Logies crowd, many desperately keeping their expressions neutral as the car crash unfolded on stage.

As the camera came to rest on Gleeson — who shamelessly gamed the Logies voting several years ago to snatch the gold — he called out the elephant in the room.

“This. Isn’t. Funny.” he appeared to mouth at the camera.

Amen to that.

Daryl Somers drags out the joke at the Logies. Tom Gleeson (inset) wasn't the only one saying ‘why?’. Pictures: Supplied

In the wash-up of every Logies there’s always more than one story of how it all went on for too long, the jokes fell flat, and at least one celeb jumped the shark.

Logies host Sam Pang aside, plenty of attempts at humour died on Sunday night on Australian television’s night of nights … Karl, Sonia, Todd McKenney … I’m looking at you.

Logies host Sam Pang delivered a bitingly funny opening monologue. Others weren’t as successful. Picture: Channel 7

But today, we need to talk about Daryl.

The clock was close to counting down the last half-hour to midnight when the 71-year-old Dancing With The Stars host was wheeled out to present the Gold Logie.

What’s needed at this point of any award night is simple self-awareness: it’s late, this is the big one, announce the winner, present the award, step back, get off.

Suffice to say a fatigued audience in the room and at home, an already over-bloated awards show well into its fifth hour and a fading star who can no longer hold the audience in the palm of his hand, but tries to pull off a cumbersome stunt is never a recipe for success.

Julia Morris ahead of the long-awaited (very long-awaited) announcement of the Gold Logie winner. Picture: Supplied

What followed was a cringe-making appearance as a showbiz veteran launched himself into a perfect storm. And not in a good way.

It was downhill as Somers launched into his trademark fast patter, and joke after joke fell flat. The exasperation in the audience, media room and at home (if Twitter was anything to go by) reached “get off mate” breaking point as Somers attempted to stage a mock auction involving seven blissfully unaware Gold Logie nominees.

“So we have seven very nervous nominees in the room, but don’t let that hold you back. What is my bid? Please, don’t be shy, don’t be shy,” Somers implored the seemingly dumbstruck room.

“Julia Morris, $5000, thank you. Wonderful, we are off, on the market. Hamish Blake, $10,000 from Hamish Blake. You will go back-to-back if you are lucky tonight. And from the heavy table, it is $15,000 from Sonia Kruger.”

Seconds stretched into what felt like long, long minutes as Somers laboriously ploughed on, seemingly unaware of how flat it was all falling.

“Hang on, the phone is going, it is a phone bid? $25,000? … No, Tom Gleeson you are not even nominated,” he continued, to silence.

Daryl tried to get Hamish Blake in on the auction. (Photo by Sam Tabone/Getty Images)

Nobody was up for the stunt. In a real emperor-has-no-clothes moment, the spectacle continued – long on waffle, and deafeningly short on laughs.

Somers, mercifully, at last came to the end of his marathon set-up.

“I don’t think the auction is going to work, TV Week. Are you working on delay up there?” he said.

“I don’t think it is going to work tonight”.

Well Daryl, you got that right.

Look, Somers is an Australian TV icon — as his swag of Logies, hosting gigs and the inarguable success of the Hey Hey Its Saturday in its heyday attest.

But it’s time to exit stage left, and for TV execs to stop mining the same old familiar nostalgic well.

It’s time to stop asking old dogs for new schtick.