Mollard: Why I’m missing Adele’s fun, real-girl energy

It appears Adele has jettisoned her North London boss girl vibe and has instead signed up for the joyless, beige, stealth wealth style and Angela Mollard is not a fan.

I have always adored Adele.

The songs, the humour, her gorgeous larger-than-life real girl energy and that capacious heart – not so much worn on her sleeve but weeping out of every pore.

I must’ve watched the video where she goes undercover as an Adele impersonator at least 100 times, so when she pranked James Corden with an impromptu carpool karaoke this week I was all in.

But as she sneaked into Corden’s home and woke him with a pair of clashing cymbals to drive him into The Late Late Show to mark his final week, I was instantly dismayed. But for her accent, Adele had jettisoned every skerrick of her North London boss girl vibe and signed up for the joyless, beige-hued, uber-groomed style heralded as “stealth wealth”.

In less time than it takes to whip up an oat milk chai latte, three of the world’s most famous women have created arguably the dullest fashion moment since ’90s grunge.

Adele joined James Corden for Carpool Karaoke on The Late Late Show with James Corden. in 2016. Picture: Craig Sugden/CBS via Getty Images

And while I couldn’t give a toss that boring Gwyneth Paltrow telegraphed stealth wealth in her recent court trial, or that the Duchess of Sussex appears to have adopted it for her forthcoming global reinvention, the realisation that Adele has fallen for what the Americans call “rich mom energy” is utterly dispiriting. You don’t have a voice like that to shroud yourself in camel cashmere.

Worse, Adele has taken it next level. If Gwynnie and Meg are all poker straight hair, and cream knits – can’t we just call them jumpers? – and skin so gleaming it looks like it’s been through a car wash, Adele is dulce de leche made human.

Adele, with James Corden, in 2016 compared to ‘stealth wealth’ Adele (right) in 2023.

Gone is the bouffant hair and ’60s signature eyeliner and, in its place, is the sort of make-up which has its origins in pottery, not art. Each bone is sculpted and each crease buffed so the overall visage is rendered as flawless as a Tussaudian wax figure. It’s no surprise that after giving Corden a hug, Adele brushes his shirt and remarks that she’s probably left make-up deposited on him.

But it’s not just her face. As the chummy pair, who holiday together with their kids, break into Adele’s Rolling in the Deep, it’s hard to reconcile the origins of that song with a woman who looks as if she’s stumbled into a Real Housewives franchise. Granted, it’s 13 years since she wrote the hit which she says is a “Get the f*@k out of my house” break-up song, and I have no beef with anyone’s evolution, but stealth wealth Adele looks like she’s been fashioned out of bone broth, activated almonds and collagen powder. Wide-legged beige pants are topped with a $10,000 Louis Vuitton trench coat, high-maintenance Hollywood starlet hair and the sort of stiletto-length fingernails that require staff.

My issue with stealth wealth is not that it’s been so wholeheartedly adopted by the GAM (Gwynnie/Adele/Meg) squad but that the same loveless hues, which only look good in quality fabrics, will filter down to the rest of us. As if winter weather is not dull enough, expect shops to be full of shades dubbed “toffee”, “cappuccino” and “mocha” when, in fact, you could name all of them “1970s carpet”.

The fact is this style of quiet luxury, while an antidote to Kardashian-style logo dressing, doesn’t translate well from celebrity to civilian dressing. The trend, originally inspired by Succession’s Shiv Roy, was birthed by labels who don’t boast their branding or their credentials. But those in the know, know. As TikTok notes: “Money talks, wealth whispers”.

Gwyneth Paltrow in court wearing a luxury brand cream knit. Picture: CourtTV

As its name suggests, you might not see stealth wealth approaching but, like a Diptych candle, everyone knows when they’re in the presence of it.

When Paltrow appeared in a Utah court last month to defend herself against a collision at a ski resort, she wore a $2400 cream knit by the Italian luxury brand Loro Piana, nicknamed “Uniqlo for billionaires”. Over the following days she stepped out in a $8000 green wool coat by the Olsen twin’s brand The Row – identifiable by its French seam down the back – Prada boots and Proenza Schouler leather culottes.

As the New York Times’ chief fashion critic Vanessa Friedman has noted, stealth wealth doesn’t advertise its value in the usual ways with bright colours, decoration and logos. Instead, she says, they’re the kind of clothes that “rely on plushness of fabric and rigour of line – on insider information – to suggest value”.

So basically, stealth wealth is for rich people having an empathetic moment. “We know you’re all struggling with a cost-of-living crisis,” it says, “so we’re not going to boast”.

Except this “camelocracy”, as posh Italian label MaxMara dubbed their most recent collection, is about as democratic as Paltrow’s kids having their own personal ski instructors.

All kudos to Adele – and her final carpool karaoke with Corden is brilliantly funny – but I refuse to go easy on her. She built her brand on cheek, vulnerability and originality, not superior oatmeal separates. Like an angora jumper, it doesn’t wash well with me.

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