Louise Roberts: Memo Barnardos: we don’t need to cancel mums

Sorry, mothers, you’re not inclusive enough - or so says the latest organisation to be overtaken by wokeness, writes Louise Roberts.

The critics have been circling mothers for quite some time. Sneering at their crime of being ordinary and family-oriented, patronising them for not sinking their hooks onto the greasy pole of career advancement, blaming them for children raised to but ultimately underprepared for adulthood.

Dads get a pasting too, and that is of course also offensive and spectacularly unfair.

But increasingly, if there’s a problem, the question is ‘where’s the mum’ ­because we can always find a way to dump the blame on her.

And so to the latest crime being heaped upon mothers everywhere: Not being ­inclusive enough.

The charity Barnardos, revered here and in the UK for toiling behind the scenes to keep fractured families together, has decided to dump their local Mother Of The Year awards.

Jo Ford with her daughter Jessica. Jo won Barnardos Mother of the Year in 2017.

The stated reason — in a nutshell — is because it doesn’t acknowledge other caregivers who by definition are not mothers.

Well, fine. But my question is, — so what?

Barnardos has given out the gongs for 25 years.

That’s 25 winning mums and plenty more acknowledged for nurturing children and families.

There’s never a dry eye at these events and no one walks away, sodden tissue in hand, indignant that one woman has been singled out that year for praise, a few special hours in the spotlight.

Your only reaction is, thank God. Thank God this mum is being recognised as a symbol of what mothers do everywhere. They do it for other ­people.

There’s never a microthought that some single dad, same sex couple, grandparent or other caregiver might be offended because some self-sacrificing mother has had her name up in lights for a fleeting moment.

Founder of charity The Generous and the Grateful, Carmen Platt, with her children Oliver, 10, and Hugo, 8. Her charity helps people get back on their feet including a number of mums fleeing domestic violence. Picture: Justin Lloyd

The irony is every single one of these women would never think they are better than any other anonymous mum — sorry, other anonymous caregiver — quietly keeping things together.

But as we know being anti-woke and non-politically correct is the greatest crime you can commit in 2021. And that means that motherhood, with all the biological baggage and cultural cachet that goes with it, was sure to be cancelled eventually.

And here we are.

And so it follows that Barnardos had to nix one of its own treasured events — couching it in all the modern language of inclusivity, of course.

“Barnardos works with children who live with a variety of families — among the families we support are sole parents, same sex couples, families with both a mother and a father figure, relatives caring for the children of family members, and children who are cared for by their grandparents,” the organisation said in a statement. “This is the wonderful and diverse group of people we work with in caring for children in our communities.

“With this in mind, we believe that the celebration of mothers in the absence of others does not truly represent all the families and caregivers we celebrate daily in our contemporary world.”

Karina Elliott, with her children Jared, 11, Jonah, 12, and Naomi, 9, was a NSW nominee in 2019. Picture: Justin Lloyd

None of us think we are superior caregivers because we are, by definition, the mother. It is bewildering the term is so frequently used as an insult, an adjective besetting a profanity.

But for a family-oriented institution like Barnardos to single out motherhood as out of date and exclusive is truly offensive.

What is the substitute for motherly instinct or concern? Are we to be confronted with Caregiver’s Day now because Mother’s Day is discriminatory?

We’ve been there before with thoughtless school principals trying to ban Mother’s Day stalls, only for fury to have the pasta necklaces back where they belong — around our necks for the bargain price of $10.

Barnardos’ explanation is patronising in the extreme.

“This is a decision that we have not made lightly, and one we make with many fond memories of the incredible mothers and families we have met over the past 25 years.

Barnardos Mother of the Year NSW 2018 Noelene Lever.

“It has been a difficult decision to come to, but there are a number of factors that have led us to this. Firstly, in everything that we do, we want to display our values and align to the children and families we work with day to day.”

Mothers do not deserve this sort of rubbish phraseology that reads like some turgid diversity ­statement.

Seriously, what is “difficult” about publicly praising a mother?

As we enter the second year of the pandemic, surely there is something more critical for Barnardos to be workshopping and aligning to?

Perhaps they could ‘reach out’ to the mums sinking into a pit of depression, with a slashed income and no idea where to turn because they are too embarrassed to ask for help.

2018 winner Cindy Rigby, who was nominated by her foster daughter Hayley. Picture: Liam Kidston

“The COVID-19 pandemic has delayed our ability to launch an event in 2021 that celebrates and acknowledges our diverse families and foster carers, however we will continue to plan for this as the year progresses.” And on the justification goes.

In the business world, a common gibe is that if a company goes woke, they go broke.

The real tragedy would be if thousands of everyday Aussies, happy to shell out a few dollars to this charity, think twice about donating in the ­future because they have lost sight of their mission — helping ordinary people.

Cascade that one down to the team and let me know how it goes.

@whatlouthinks