Louise Roberts: Now parents want their baby’s consent before changing a nappy

Matters have reached a curious point when some now argue that babies must provide consent before their nappies are changed — what on earth may be next, asks Louise Roberts.

There is a difference between bonding with family and the issue of autonomy over your own body.

Also, there is a clear distinction between abusing a child and changing a baby’s nappy.

And disparity between wanting your sons and daughters to grow up in a home where they are free to make errors in order to learn judgment and an anxious environment where they must routinely have their naturally racist, privileged and sexist tendencies corrected.

But thanks to the pernicious agenda of those who seek to control how we think and operate as families and parents, these very issues are ­conflated.

Parkdale Secondary College recently had a youth worker blame Year 11 students for being white, Christian and male.

Who would imagine in 2021 that a class of Year 11 boys would be humiliated in front of their peers for being white, Christian and male.

Slammed by a council youth worker — emphasis on youth here — for being oppressors.

Wow, I’m in trouble at home. I’m surrounded by these privilege junkies interfering with my rights 24/7.

Likewise that a family member can no longer be presumed innocent when wanting to love their nieces, nephews or grandchildren and looking forward to their hugs.

Or that Scott Morrison’s wife Jenny, a level-headed individual who does not court the limelight or practice faux rage, would be accused by a very bitter and unhappy comedian of being the poster woman for white ­supremacy.

The PM and the First Lady are evangelical Christians and reportedly met at a Christian youth camp. How positively ordinary and non-threatening, ergo a reason to attack her.

I know who the women of Australia, us in the suburbs racing between jobs and home duties and not wanting a medal for it, feel an affinity with.

Prime Minister Scott Morrison, wife Jenny and daughters Lily (R) and Abbey (L). Picture: AAP Image/Mick Tsikas

Diversity and inclusion rather than decency and respect are becoming the priorities for modern child rearing with all power to the infant or toddler.

Never mind that they don’t have a clue what they want or how life works.

That used to be our KPI as parents to gently and effectively guide them. No more.

If you dare to question where the debate on consent is heading, you become the problem. You are the outrage machine.

After the debacle of the $3.8 million Department of Education’s Respect Matters program and the ludicrously uninformative and unhelpful milkshake video, the discussion has already edged into crazy.

A baby having a nappy changed must now be asked his or her permission to have their bum wiped and rash cream applied. A mum on social media says she is “building bodily autonomy and consent” by making her baby “part of the process”and checks in for consent.

“The goal is to make him feel involved and not like a passive observer having his body manipulated,” a caption reads on the video.

One mother says she is asking her baby’s consent while changing his nappy.

Excuse me for stating the obvious but while bathing and changing our children, haven’t we routinely asked how they are and chatted away happily because we are bonding with them and we love them?

When did it and why should it become formalised as a consent issue?

And meanwhile a mum says adults need to be called out for ignoring a toddler’s right to consent by “guilt tripping” cuddles out of them. The “older generation” don’t know how to regulate their emotions. Apparently.

“No one’s feelings are ever going to be more important than my daughter’s right to her own body,” the mum says.

Too bad if your instinct is to encourage your child to connect with their family. It might be a hug or baking some brownies together.

What about the besotted grandma with once in a lifetime memories of cuddles but now subject to a consent checklist?

The PM might say the culture war doesn’t matter, but this is something that really does matter to parents.

Grandparents love cuddling their grandkids. Picture: Toby Zerna

The infuriating thing is that we all know that consent, sexism, racism etc are of course topics that need to be addressed.

But having completely over-­sexualised our society, we are trying to put out fires where there are none.

As adults we focus on the perceived differences yet for kids it is not in their day-to-day playbook.

The hierarchy of the family home is being democratised where children are the equal decision makers.

They are not equipped for it, so you end up with teenagers or twenty somethings with a resilience and responsibility deficit.

When I had my eldest child, now 17, my mum came straight off a long haul flight, burst smiling through my front door, bypassed a cuppa and with arms outstretched said to me:

“Where’s my grandson?” She then sat on my sofa and held him for 12 hours with microbreaks only for feeding (him from me) and the loo.

It’s an oft-repeated story in our family because it is so typical and beautiful and natural.

A grandma and her tiny snoozing descendant, the crook of her left arm designed by nature to hold this hazel-eyed boy.

I thought about that scene again this week when it became evident that the family is again under attack via the veneer of education and ­enlightenment.

We all find sexual abuse abhorrent and are critically focused on making respect a lifelong priority — for ourselves and others.

But we are now incapable of ­prosecuting any type of social debate with a level of productivity, finesse and kindness.