Lisa Mayoh: Welcome to the chaotic mind of a chronic over packer

Hot, cold, wet or dry? Long or short holiday? Casual, smart or formal? Welcome to the mind of the chronic over packer. Aren’t you glad you came?, asks Lisa Mayoh.

You know the people who boast they can travel around for months with carry-on only with special hacks – I am the actual opposite of that. Picture: iStock

I’m the worst packer in the whole wide world. You know the people who boast they can travel around for months with carry-on only with special hacks to turn their dark, gelato-spill safe capsule wardrobe staples into weeks of wears, washing their undies in the sink and hanging bras on makeshift clothes lines strung up above the hotel room bath? Well, much to my husband’s dismay, I am the actual opposite of that.

I start out with the best of intentions, of course. “This time it will be different” I’ll declare proudly a week out from any adventure. I’ll create outfits in my head, lay them out on the bed proudly and consolidate.

But a few hours later, back I come for one more look before I put my chosen ones in the bag. That’s when disaster strikes.

The shoes, hats, socks. bags and belts. You name it, I may need it. Picture: iStock

What if it’s cold? Best add that jacket. And maybe a light layer, in case it’s too hot for the jacket, but too cold without something. And what if it rains? The jacket will be wet and I’ll have nothing. Better add another, just in case. But if I’m wet and cold, I’ll need extra T-shirts too, so in they go. Oh gosh. If it’s cold, shorts and dresses won’t do – where are my jeans? I’ll need at least three pairs. One dressy pair for going out and two for the day – one will get wet in the unpredicted downpour in the summer heat which may be unexpectedly cold this season, of course.

Then there’s toiletries, and in goes every potion and pill I’ve never needed in my 43 years – because you never know – and also the sold to be different but vastly the same variations of makeup Instagram told me I needed to achieve the glowy ‘I’m on holidays’ natural non-make up look that isn’t natural or non make-up-y at all. Oh, and the shoes. And hats. Socks. Bags. Belts. You name it, I may need it.

Welcome to the mind of the chronic over packer. Aren’t you glad you came?

The fun part is that this irrational approach is the same level of crazy whether it’s a two-day or two-week getaway. My family of five once went to Japan for 12 days with the same amount of luggage we packed the car with to go to the country for three nights (to be fair, it was cold – and it could have rained).

You’d think summer holidays would be better because what more do you need than a cozzie and some sunscreen right? Wrong. Boy, are you wrong.

The Kimberleys are gorgeous – but the Aussie bush brings its own set of unique travelling challenges.

I write this as I mentally pack for a holiday with my husband next week to see two of our best friends get married in the amazing Kimberleys after 25 years and three kids together. Gorgeous, I hear you say. I know. It absolutely will be. But the Aussie bush brings its own set of unique travelling challenges, because if I forget something (or it rains) I can’t just run out and buy it. Oh, that reminds me, can’t forget the runners.

Footwear for the wedding day has me the most puzzled, actually. We’ve been told the red earth and uneven landscape favours flat, closed in shoes. Think country comfort, not dessert glam. So how do you make a dress look pretty wearing boots with no heel? Cowboy boots could be fun.

But won’t it be too hot? Although it does get cooler at night, I’m warned. Better pack those extra jackets. Because if I forget something (or it rains) I can’t just run out and buy it. Oh, that reminds me – can’t forget the spare runners. Just in case.

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