Lisa Mayoh: Boarding school no sign of anything wrong with my daughter – the opposite in fact

When your daughter blows your mind with her bravery and determination to keep going, one day at a time, it’s the single greatest gift you could give her, writes Lisa Mayoh.

‘But why would you send her away? What’s wrong with her?” is how someone I know responded when I said our 15-year-old was going to boarding school this year.

People are funny, aren’t they? I’m sure he meant well, but the ignorance can be astounding. Until I realised – people don’t understand what they don’t understand.

Often quick to judge, without learning or changing ... or responding in a nicer tone. People who don’t get it, never will – and that’s OK.

But there’s nothing wrong with our daughter. Quite the opposite in fact. We’d had friends rave about a school interstate deep in the bush which does things a bit differently.

Firstly – and very importantly – there are no screens. No phones, no computers – you’re not even allowed a digital camera if it’s got a screen. That means no TikTok, no Snapchat, no worries – a huge attraction for us as parents of a teen at her most formative stage. Tick.

No phones, no computers, no TikTok, no Snapchat, no worries. Picture: Elisa Schu/picture alliance via Getty Images

Then, it’s all about empowering the kids to do things for themselves. So, if you want a hot shower after one of your triweekly 10km runs through the bush, you best have chopped the fire to light the boiler to get the hot water at the end.

You’re assigned jobs like preparing and serving meals for your classmates, cleaning bathrooms, and you work together as a team to get through some pretty treacherous stuff. Treks up unforgiving mountains in snow and sleet and rain.

See sunrises you ever imagined. Picture: Lisa Maree Williams/Getty Images

You see snakes, sunrises and come face-to-face with animals and places you never imagined. You create such strong bonds with strangers-turned-sisters you can’t fathom how you’ve lived without them for 14 years.

You might learn gradients in maths by running up that mountain – again. You’ll even spend a whole 24 hours in the bush, just you and your tent, in a life-changing taste of self-reflection you’ll remember every single day of your life from that moment forward.

You’ll swim in the dam for PE, you’ll learn the ins and outs of life on the land in agriculture, and you’ll help in town, painting fences and cooking meals for folk who need a hand.

You learn there’s a big wide world out there, and you’ll write letters to your parents telling them every single thing you’ve experienced – even though before this year you’d barely ever put pen to paper because isn’t that what a screen is for?

You’ll read books. Even though you may never have finished one before; three a week, and another SOS to mum – send. more. books.

Six months in and this time away has changed our daughter with every deep breath of country air. She has done things I could never, even at my 43 years. She has conquered fears, grown and changed and stretched. She’s blown my mind with her bravery, her determination to keep going, one day at a time.

That’s why we sent her. Because it’s the single greatest gift we ever could have given her – and I tell her that with every letter I write back.

I’ve never been prouder of her – and of me, too – for being brave enough to let her leave. What a gift.