Lillian Saleh: It’s time to confront the bullies

FATSO, four eyes, dumb wog — you name it, I’ve been called it. Not as an adult, where I have been called worse and can bat it away — but as a child on an almost daily basis in the schoolyard.

Tired Boy Studying In Bedroom

FATSO, four eyes, dumb wog — you name it, I’ve been called it. Not as an adult, where I have been called worse and can bat it away — but as a child on an almost daily basis in the schoolyard.

That was more than 25 years ago but deep down I still bear the scars.

I vividly recall my mum storming into my classroom one day, demanding my sister and I point out the girls who had been picking on us.

My sister refused. But I didn’t hesitate, pointing out the mean girls to my mum and the teacher. Drastic, you may argue? But we were never called names again.

The Department of Education defines bullying as verbal abuse — name-calling, teasing, insults or threats — physical violence, including hitting, punching, kicking, or tripping.

Ignoring someone or excluding them is bullying, as is spreading rumours, dirty looks, hiding or damaging possessions and sending malicious SMS’s and emails.

On the surface, it’s easy to dismiss these as “children just being children”.

But try telling that to a five-year-old who comes home from her first week at school crying because she’s being called a “fatso”.

Or her mother who is now debating whether she should put her daughter on a diet.

Try telling that to the boy who finally lashes out after constant bullying only for his parents to be told he has an “anger management issue”.

Like many people, Lillian Saleh was a victim of bullying when she was in school.

The department has a five-page guide that covers seven steps in identifying and dealing with bullying in schools.

But too often schools still hide behind the excuse that a bully’s assault is merely a difference of opinion or a confrontation between two students.

It perfectly suits schools to claim these attacks do not constitute bullying, relieving them of the need to decide where blame lies and act against the perpetrator.

Taking this route allows teachers and principals to avoid tricky and difficult investigations, decide where the blame lies and take the necessary disciplinary action.

How convenient for the bullies, too.

Countless studies have shown bullies were victims themselves and this is a way of regaining some power.

When it comes to bullying, there are no winners. Schools can have all the inclusion programs in the world but, unless you actually acknowledge the problem, nothing will get resolved.

And that’s what this show will do — as hard as it may be to watch.

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