Kerry Parnell: Why people are wigging out over David Beckham’s whiskers

British footballing ace David Beckham is no stranger to hair-raising headlines – and now he is again in the news for his grooming as people are wigging out over his whiskers, writes Kerry Parnell.

When is a beard weird? When it’s David Beckham’s.

The British footballing ace is no stranger to hair-raising headlines – his coiffures were as mane (pun intended) a story as his ball skills, back in his sporting prime – and now the 49-year-old is once again in the news for his grooming.

This time, people are not so much wigging out over his hairdo, as his whiskers, which are raising eyebrows on social media. On Tuesday, the hair apparent was snapped alongside fellow-bearded Prince William at a London Air Ambulance Charity fundraiser.

“As soon as I was asked to be involved by Prince William … I was very honoured, in all honesty,” the ex-England player said in a video on Instagram.

But while the Prince of Wales’ beard is au naturel and if I’m honest, somewhat grey and scraggly, apologies to his Royal Highness, Beckham’s, by comparison, is a luxuriant brown, so uniform in colour, it leads one to conclude he’s – gasp – dyed his eyebrows, moustache and beard.

Prince William with David Beckham during a visit to RAF Northolt to view the two new London Air Ambulance Charity helicopters. Picture: Aaron Chown/WPA Pool/Getty Images

Now, most of us do a bit, or a lot, of self-care – if I don’t get my eyebrows dyed I look like an angry owl – but the expert advice is you should always attempt to make it look natural. “Less is more,” says top Sydney hair salon owner, Lucky Kennis. “Colour match to your hair or eyebrows and, if in doubt, go one shade lighter.”

The secret hack, he says, is to, “wipe off the top rim of your beard line after half the time, as this will soften the look.”

Go too heavy-handed and you’ll turn into a Lego head, instead, which is what’s happened to Beckham, who scored a grooming own-goal.

“I was very proud to be invited to be part of (this)”, Beckham said and I reckon that’s the key – he got over-enthusiastic with the applicator. He is a well-known royalist, famously lining up for 12 hours with other mourners, waiting to pay their respects to the Queen’s coffin in Westminster, in 2022. So, you can imagine how excited he must have been to get the call for a photo-op with Wills and decided to give himself a last-minute spruce-up with the Brilliant Brown.

He should have given Kennis a call, as I’d guess he didn’t do a cautionary wipe, then went a little Edward Scissorhands with his beard trimmer. Meaning, now he doesn’t look anything like himself.

His new visage is strangely familiar though and I spent several seconds racking my brain as to who he reminds me of. I was going for a budget Burt Reynolds but, no, Burt’s moustache was, of course, much more epic. Next, I thought perhaps he’s a pretend Pedro Pascal, but The Last of Us star is much more salt-and-peppery.

William Abadie as Antoine Lambert in Emily in Paris.

Then – voila! It came to me – he’s a David Dupe of Antoine Lambert, owner of Maison Lavaux, in Emily in Paris. Mon dieu! And if you’ve never watched the TV show, Google him and you’ll see the resemblance.

Actor William Abadie, who plays the suave perfumier in the Netflix series, alongside Emily’s love-interest Gabriel (Lucas Bravo), both coincidentally appeared a little “L’Orealed” in the last season.

But then, as they say, they’re worth it.

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