Kerry Parnell: Snarks on a plane: Why are we fascinated with seat arguments?

Travel outrage is like road rage – we get territorial and react badly when someone tries to encroach on what we see as our space. What’s puzzling is the need to tell the world about it.

Plane passengers aren't always considerate when reclining their seats.

Why are we so fascinated with the concept of someone not switching seats on a plane?

It’s that time again, when social media fills up with “I refused to give up my seat” posts.

We can’t get enough of these travel-hardened heroes telling their tales – there are 36.5 million posts with this title on TikTok, never mind the Reddit threads and Facebook reels.

Most of them play out the same way — a traveller pre-books a premium possie on a plane or train – think window-seat, business-class, extra leg-room — only for some chancer to come along with the outrageous request they switch seats to accommodate the fact they’d like to sit with their toddler, they’re 95, or — even one I read, where the other person was in a wheelchair and this man had booked a seat in the accessible space. He still refused!

Our social media warriors say no, then record the interaction, usually concluding they can’t help if the other person hasn’t been organised enough to pre-book/have workable legs/whatever.

A packed plane and a seating mix-up are often a recipe for disaster, Picture: iStock

“Ma’am your poor planning does not constitute an emergency for me,” is the standard comment.

“Wheelchairs don’t make people incapable of pre-planning,” was the reply to the above dilemma.

TikTokker “Dr Sabra” racked up 18.3 million views for her video, “POV: Flight agent asks me if I want to give up my 1A seat so a child sits with their family.” 

Obviously, she declined, then filmed herself beaming about her decision-making process.

There are two things going on here — one is an undercurrent of hatred which leaves me uncomfortable.

Many of the stories involve “entitled mums” – note, like “Karen” there’s no male equivalent – where the aggrieved gets to put these women in their place for both “poor seat-planning” and “poor family-planning”.

Kids sitting solo? Expect a seat change request.

Want to sit with your two kids? Should have booked that journey before you conceived!

The second is why so many people want to watch these videos or read these posts.

Who could ever have thought we’d find micro-travel-aggression entertaining?

Trauma therapist and coach, Olivia James, says travel outrage is like road rage – we get territorial and react badly, when someone tries to encroach on what we see as our space. And when we’re not travelling, we love to watch the drama unfold.

“We are fascinated by these situations and love to sit in judgment on social media,” she says. “We all have internal rules about how other people should behave towards us.”

Look at the popularity of the AITA (Am I the Asshole) phenomenon, where we read endless dilemmas about petty outrages.

And there’s nothing pettier than faux offence about a seat-swap request.

I get that it might be annoying to be asked to move from the aisle to the middle seat – nobody wants to be in a sweaty-stranger-sandwich on long-haul – but it is possible to politely decline, without filming it and broadcasting it to the world.

However, if someone wanted you to swap because they’ve been split apart from their young child, then, really, you need to have a word with yourself. And it can be as rude as you like.

Switch seat, don’t switch seat, but please, just switch off.