Kerry Parnell: No cuddles now for Harry the Howler

Prince Harry’s anger at his family is so scorching, his memoir is like one of those Howlers from the other Harry book, says Kerry Parnell.

Prince Harry’s anger at his family is so scorching, his memoir is like one of those Howlers from the other Harry book – when Ron opens a furious red letter from his mum at Hogwarts, which rants at him then bursts into flames.

“I am absolutely disgusted. Your father’s facing an inquiry at work, it’s entirely your fault,” it bellows.

Hmm ...

Spare is, publishers say, the second-fastest selling book ever, to Harry Potter.

It’s certainly a spellbinding read, even if the Windsors must be wishing Dumbledore could magic it away.

You can’t fail to have sympathy for Harry – his pain from the loss of his mother screams from every page.

But so does his fury and those are the passages which make you wince – the alleged relentless nastiness of “Willy”; the reported calculating cruelty of Camilla; the coldness of Charles, who, he says, couldn’t even cuddle him while informing him Diana had died; the stand-offishness of Catherine, upset Meghan mentioned her hormones. What happened to #BeKind?

Prince Harry’s anger at his family is so scorching.

Anyone who thought Harry had nothing left to say after his documentaries couldn’t have been more wrong: turns out he had all of it left to say.

Every minute detail of royal life, including a lot of private conversations – Charles asking Harry and William not to make his “final years a misery” in a “raspy, fragile ... old” voice, texts between Catherine and Meghan, surprising detail about his penis.

No member of the royal family has ever been so frank.

Meanwhile, if silence is golden, Buckingham Palace’s is platinum.

“What they have to say to me and what I have to say to them will be in private, and I hope it can stay that way,” Harry said with no trace of irony, in an interview with Tom Bradby.

This, despite having so successfully blown up the royal mantra “Never Complain, Never Explain” – Guy Fawkes must be applauding from his grave.

Whether his family has spoken to him in private is not known, but they weren’t giving anything away as the King and Prince and Princess of Wales got back to public duties on Thursday, somewhat of a rictus grin on their faces.

Still, silence is power and ends up fairly tormenting the accuser with sleepless nights wondering what you think.

It must be infuriating Harry.

“Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn,” said George Bernard Shaw, which, like Harry, I found on BrainyQuote.com.

And it really is.

You can’t fail to have sympathy for Harry – his pain from the loss of his mother screams from every page.

For example, recently, I was writing a piece about a high-profile personality who passed away, and contacted one of their peers for a quote about working with them.

“I have nothing to say about them,” they responded.

Ouch.

Or how about the acquaintance who looked me up and down the other day and asked, “Is that a new dress?” and when I replied yes, in the space where, “It’s pretty/it suits you/where is it from?” usually comes, compressed her lips and said nothing at all.

There was a hanging silence as we eyed other.

I smarted for minutes.

The only sound coming from Buckingham Palace, in fact, is that of Camilla powering up the shredder and processing Harry and Meghan’s coronation invite.

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