Home alone? Not likely as adult kids settle in

Call them FREEBIEs, LEECHs or SPONGEs. Whatever the acronym, with more adult kids staying home with the oldies, that’s a lot of long-term bathroom sharing, writes Angela Mollard.

The Ratliff family captured some of the tensions of adult kids who haven’t left the nest in the latest season of The White Lotus. Picture: Binge

It wasn’t the fridge raids or the coffee cups piling up in the bedroom or even the sound of his son engaging in nocturnal activities with his girlfriend that bothered my mate.

“Actually,” he corrected himself, “there are few things as mortifying as lying in bed realising you no longer have the stamina of your offspring.”

I commiserated.

But it turns out that’s not the worst thing about my mate’s 25-year-old son still living at home.

“I can tolerate the freeloading and my wife doing his washing and I admire his ability to sniff out the one leftover steak in the fridge no matter how well I hide it,” he confessed.

TIPPING POINT

“But the thing that’s pushed me over the edge?”

I’m on the edge of my seat.

“He voted for the Greens. Turns out he has an ideological issue with negative gearing. How does he think we can afford to keep him?”

Ah, yes, the adult child still living at home is a rapidly growing demographic thanks to the cost-of-living crisis and permissive parents happy to flat share with their offspring.

We’ll get to the numbers but why has this rapidly expanding group not got a name?

It took a nanosecond for the media to conceive DINKs (Double Income, No Kids), SKIs (Spending the Kids Inheritance), NIMBYs (Not in my Backyard) and MILFS (er, let’s not go there) but the best we’ve come up with for the generation who won’t or can’t leave home are “adultescents”.

Tensions aplenty: The Ratliff kids showcased adults who haven’t left the nest in the latest season of White Lotus. Picture: Binge

Or if they do leave and return they’re “boomerangs” which we can all agree is woeful.

I’m surprised advertisers haven’t invented a name for this group.

They’re missing a trick because these twenty (and thirty) somethings aren’t paying rent or poring over electricity plans so they’ve clearly got some disposable income to exploit – well, beyond what they spend on Uber Eats and Mecca.

A suitable acronym will depend on your point of view.

I know from speaking to other parents of adult children that FREEBIEs (Fully Resourced, Entirely Enabled by Intergenerational Entitlement) and LEECHs (Living Easily, Expecting Constant Help) will have some fans. SIPS (Still in Parents’ Space) might also work for the 28-year-old whose biggest responsibility is feeding the cat while mum’s at Pilates. That said, SPONGEs (Still Parasitically Occupying Nest, Getting Everything) does what it says on the tin but KIPPERS (Kids in Parents Pockets Eroding Retirement Savings) is kind of adorable. And they are adorable.

I (mostly) love my youngest living at home.

I would never call her a sponge, a freebie or a leech because mostly we enjoy a CASA (Co-Adults Sharing Affectionately) situation.

Well, apart from this week, when we had strong feelings about her towel management and me borrowing her laptop charger.

NUMBERS GROW

Intergenerational living will suit some and irritate others.

With 54 per cent of men aged 18 to 29 and 47 per cent of women the same age still living at home that’s a lot of bathroom sharing.

But it’s the stark increase in the older twenty-somethings living at home that speaks to societal change.

Since 2001 the number of men aged 26 to 29 living at home has risen from 21.3 per cent to 31.2 per cent while the number of 26 to 29-year-old old women doing the same has almost doubled, from 15.9 per cent to 27.5 per cent, according to the 2021 Household, Income and Labour Dynamics in Australia (HILDA) Survey, now four years old.

Staying home with the parents might save dollars, but at what cost? Sharehousing teaches valuable adult lessons. Picture: Supplied

SITCOM FODDER

While this dynamic is ripe for a new sitcom – the Ratliff family captured some of the tensions in the latest season of The White Lotus – there’s a more serious issue beyond a 29-year-old watching makeup tutorials while her mum books her a dentist appointment and remakes pancake batter, only this time with oat milk.

Because it’s not about “failing to launch” it’s about failing to live.

It’s tragic if this generation misses out on the life-changing experience of sharing a house because while challenging, it can be the making of you.

When else might you contemplate cheese on toast with a hair straightener or a “sock wall” for strays.

And how can you learn about relationships unless you experience them in the wild, as the flat share in Everything I Know About Love (Stan) so beautifully captures.

I’m still friends with my university flatmates because, while one of them gave us food poisoning by cooking chilli with three-month-old celery, those years made me resilient and compassionate.

One of my flatmates was discovering he was gay, another was suffering from bulimia and the third was in love with a priest.

Flat sharing can be chaotic, expensive and mouldy but the compromise and communication skills it teaches are invaluable.

These kids won’t need an acronym because they’ll become the very thing they need to flourish in life: an adult.

ANGE’S A-LIST

Driver’s Seat: I’m a huge fan of the underused actor Minnie Driver so was thrilled to see she’s been in Rome shooting the next season of Emily in Paris. She was fantastic in Good Will Hunting so I’m hoping we’ll now see more of her.

Just Add Water: I’ve succumbed to the large water bottle trend because it genuinely makes you drink more. Nalgene ($29.99) is the OG and I love its backstory – basically the 1 litre bottles were conceived after a group of scientists took their lab bottles hiking. Made with 50% recycled plastic, measurements on the side help monitor intake.