Gary Jubelin: ‘Let my boy come home from war unchanged’

Former NSW Police detective Gary Jubelin’s son Jake is currently stationed in Afghanistan with the Australian Armed Forces. When he saw him last he noticed he was already a different man — but hopes he will return home just the same as he was before he left.

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My son Jake, 27, is a member of the Australian Armed Forces.

He looked so strong and confident marching in his camouflaged army fatigues at his passing out parade in the burning sun at Enoggera Army Barracks before being deployed to Afghanistan last year.

Like anyone who has a loved one serving overseas, I wanted my son returned to me from the war zone just the same as he was before he left.

Having a drink with his army mates before they were deployed, I could see how close they had become even before their deployment; they were as tight as a group of people could be. I felt like an outsider, but I was happy to be so, because I could see his army mates had each other’s backs.

The very things Adrian Sutter talks about are things I saw in my son.

Gary Jubelin (right) and his son Jake, who is a member of the Australian Armed Forces.

Earlier this year Jake had two weeks’ leave from Afghanistan and I caught up with him in Portugal. I could see he was struggling with the freedom of not having your day structured for you, not having a purpose and being away from his tribe.

He was not a broken man, he has his life in order, but he was different.

I know that the support he needs is from his own tribe, those who understand.

I lost my own tribe earlier this year when, after 34 years, I retired from NSW Police much earlier than I would have liked.

This year I, too, have been dealing with my demons. When I left the cops I lost structure, purpose and a sense of belonging in my own life. I had been investigating murders for 25 years.

Every day I woke up I had a purpose I had a killer to catch with my team. When that was gone, I found it hard to motivate myself.

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I wish I had spoken to the Swiss 8 guys before I left the police, because it would have helped me understand what I was feeling and how I could address those emotions.

Luckily, I eventually found my way, coincidentally by doing the very things Swiss 8 identified as the core principles in their app. I would drag myself out of bed and train in the morning and eat healthy food where possible. I used yoga and qi gong to get some balance and got my sleep patterns in order.

Jake Jubelin at his passing out parade at Enoggera Army Barracks at Brisbane before being deployed to Afghanistan.

The self-help, self-reliance message of Swiss 8 resonates very strongly with me, and I know it also does with Jake.

Between 2001 and 2017, 229 ex-defence personnel died by suicide; a rate 18 per cent higher than the general Australian population.

The Swiss 8 message is that not all those deaths are strictly attributable to PTSD: instead, this is about a much more significant life change; the loss of one’s tribe.

We talk about ‘joining’ the military, or the police force, and I think that word says it all. When you sign up to life in uniform, you really are joining something much bigger than yourself. When that is lost, the ramifications can profound.

As Jake’s Dad, I take huge comfort in the fact people within his tribe are looking out for each other.