Federal Budget 2021: Joe Hildebrand says don’t be a commie and criticise the spend
There’s what Josh Frydenberg said in his budget speech and there’s what he meant. Joe Hildebrand breaks it down.
Opinion
Don't miss out on the headlines from Opinion. Followed categories will be added to My News.
There’s what Josh Frydenberg said in his budget speech and there’s what he meant. Joe Hildebrand deciphers it all so you understand what the government is really trying to say.
THE ECONOMY
WHAT HE SAID: Australia is coming back. In the face of a once-in-a-century pandemic, the Australian spirit has shone through. ‘Team Australia’ at its best.
WHAT HE MEANT: If you are criticising this Budget you are actually criticising Australia and therefore you are a no good commie pinko rat.
SECURITY
WHAT HE SAID: A plan that builds a more resilient and secure Australia. It is a plan guided by our enduring values.
WHAT HE MEANT: Australian values, Coalition values, Liberal values – whatever you want to call them. The point is they’re not Chinese values.
VACCINES
WHAT HE SAID: In total the Morrison Government has committed $20 billion to the vaccine rollout and to strengthen our health system in response to COVID.
WHAT HE MEANT: We know the states like to take all the credit for beating COVID but just remember who’s footing the bill.
TAX
WHAT HE SAID: Tonight we provide small business with peace of mind that an independent umpire will stand between them and the ATO when it comes to debt recovery actions.
WHAT HE MEANT: We hate tax so much we will actually hire a third party to stop us from getting it.
WOMEN
WHAT HE SAID: We will help more women break into non-traditional trades … And more STEM scholarships for women … (And) give more parents, especially women, the choice to take on extra work.
WHAT HE MEANT: We will not stop giving money to women until they stop hating us.
MORE WOMEN
WHAT HE SAID: We want all Australians to get the most out of the superannuation system. On average women retire with less superannuation than men.
WHAT HE MEANT: Seriously, we will not stop.
TECHNOLOGY
WHAT HE SAID: We are investing $1.2 billion in our Digital Economy Strategy … We are launching a new ‘patent box’ starting on 1 July next year.
WHAT HE MEANT: For all you hipster Millennials who think we don’t get technology, we just totally invented a word.
AGED CARE
WHAT HE SAID: Tonight, we commit $17.7 billion in practical and targeted new funding to significantly improve the system.
WHAT HE MEANT: Old people, remember the Coalition still loves you. Screw those millennial hipsters.
HEALTH
WHAT HE SAID: Tonight, we announce the listing of Emgality to treat chronic migraines.
WHAT HE MEANT: Our political – er, medical – research shows a lot of voters get migraines.
CLIMATE AND ENERGY
WHAT HE SAID: The Government is unlocking Australia’s vast gas reserves in the North Bowen and Galilee Basins, and investing in hydrogen-ready gas plants.
WHAT HE MEANT: Actually this policy is directed not so much at North Bowen as at Chris Bowen.
CORONAVIRUS
WHAT HE SAID: This pandemic is far from over.
WHAT HE MEANT: You re-elected all the other COVID governments so make sure you don’t forget us.
More Coverage
Read related topics:Federal Budget 2021
Join the conversation
Black Friday ahead for retailers
Let’s call this rail dispute for what it is. It’s industrial warfare that is a dagger to the heart of our city and its still struggling economy, writes Paul Nicolaou.
Read more
Transport minister Jo Haylen’s service could be terminated by train stoppage
Sydney’s train strike has not come as any surprise. The transport minister had weeks to plan for this but instead basked in the glory of a Metro she did nothing to build, writes James O’Doherty.
Read more