Erin Molan: Why does the woman have to wear an engagement ring?

The practice of a woman wearing an engagement while the man remains ring-free seems outdated in this woke world, writes Erin Molan

Something a little different this week. And stay with me, I’m going to go down a path I’ve managed to successfully avoid my whole life. The woke one.

Yes, I’ve discovered an inequality that really annoys me and ladies, before I divulge all, hold your fire — this is somewhat tongue in cheek, but somewhat not.

This week on Hughesy, Ed and Erin (my 2DayFM breakfast show), we did a radio segment that involved exposing the secret lives of Sydney.

One of our callers revealed that she’d lost her engagement ring over a decade ago and hadn’t told her now-husband. She had bought a fake and he’s been none the wiser.

In other words, their entire marriage is based on a sham and she should hang her head in shame — or should she? I’m not quite sure.

We then took callers, all women who had lost their engagement rings and told hilarious stories of the panic that ensued. It struck me that no men had phoned in and then I realised why.

Of course, they don’t have engagement rings.

The wearing of an engagement is the domain of women but does it have to be this way?

This was actually something that, to some extent, in the realm of first world problems, annoyed me when I became engaged a few years back and, yes, clearly it didn’t work out but that’s a moot point.

When you think about it, the fact that once a man determines he wants to ‘wife’ us we are expected to wear a public symbol of the impending nuptials on our finger, while he gets to continue to live his life as a ‘free agent’. Surely this is completely sexist and downright unfair?

Why do women need to wear rings demonstrative of the fact we are now ‘off the market’ when men get to wander the lands with flirty fingers free of any kind of symbol of commitment? I mean, if we are serious about equality, then shouldn’t this practice be banished?

Why haven’t all of those who have made such loud noises when it comes to other areas of inequality make not even a peep about this pesky little anomaly?

Where are the feminist warriors when it comes to the grossly archaic and ridiculously sexist practice of getting engaged?

Why are they not protesting out the front of diamond stores, demanding they stop selling these symbols of toxic masculinity?

Why aren’t they camped around the Eiffel Tower, throwing paint on the countless (slightly uncreative) men who take a knee in front of the iconic location?

Are they just busy elsewhere or could it be that passionately advocating a cause only requires effort when it suits?

The practice of a woman wearing an engagement and not the man seems archaic in this day and age.

Could it be that these feminist warriors enjoy some elements of tradition and patriarchy but not others, only choosing to rid the world of the bits they hate? No, you may not call me ‘Darl’ but yes you can open my door and buy me a diamond?

Seems a bit hypocritical to me. What is becoming increasingly obvious with so many modern day ‘movements’ is that those who prosecute them are undeniably inconsistent.

Don’t get me wrong — some campaigns have been long overdue but many are just utterly ridiculous.

I’m not just talking about those on the left either … many more conservative and less ‘reformist’ crusades are equally unhinged in their inability to see just how hypocritical they are.

Women rightly demand equality in the workplace but please don’t speak to us without manners because it might hurt our feelings.

Respect is a no-brainer and a non negotiable but women can’t demand equality and then have the caveat of ‘except just a little bit softer in some areas please if we so choose’.

So, in summary, if we are going to pledge our allegiance to a particular cause or movement then shouldn’t we have to be totally on board?

No more cherry picking. I’m sick of it. All or nothing.

No more hating fossil fuels but flying around the world on jets.

No more extreme feminism but allowances made for the bits of patriarchy that we like.

And no more pledges to ‘save the trees’ when the signs condemning the wood choppers are written on paper.

I can’t help but wonder if this were actually enforced how many ‘warriors for change’ would remain?

I suspect the numbers would dwindle significantly.

And look, to show you that I include myself in this I’ll lead the way on the engagement stuff.

If anyone ever wants to marry me again (and no this isn’t a desperate plea), I declare here and now you don’t need to buy me an engagement ring.

Here in black and white for all of time. But if you insist, and just in case I turn out like many others and make a wee exception to my principled stance because it suits, please make sure it’s super big and shiny (and I may even let you call me ‘darl’).