Erin Molan: ‘Sisterhood’ stays silent over horrors in Israel

Some women take offence at the use of an innocent adjective but then fail to acknowledge the horrors inflicted on women in Israel, writes Erin Molan.

A few years ago at a function a woman came up to me and pulled me aside. I had seen her face before.

She was fairly well known in the media, very vocal on so-called “feminist issues” and pretty brash in how she publicly called out (read: berated) men she felt had done wrong by the “sisterhood”.

She congratulated me for how I had survived and thrived in male-dominated fields despite the challenges but then told me there are areas in which I needed to “do better”.

I was a bit taken aback. I’m happy for constructive criticism, indeed welcome it, but generally only from three important and relevant categories of people in my life — if I love you (you are my family), you pay me (you are my boss) or I admire you (you are someone whose values and morals I share).

She didn’t qualify.

Curious as to where she felt improvement was needed, I asked her to please enlighten me.

She told me that I was hurting all women by allowing my co-host, Fatty, to comment on my appearance at the start of each show and by allowing the others to sometimes call me “Darl”.

Again, I was taken aback.

I was and am a strong, independent woman who had constantly stood up for myself when needed, called out bad behaviour and, through my professional pursuits alone, had shown that women were not only capable of doing exactly what men were but that sometimes we could do it far better.

A woman looks at posters showing the pictures of Israeli hostages held by Palestinian militants after the October 7 attack.

I smiled politely, told her that I was very comfortable with both behaviours and that, in my mind, those gestures were in no way offensive or to the detriment of women.

In fact. I love being told I look nice, by men and women, and, believe you me, I’ve been called far worse than “Darl”.

If that was the extent of my relationship or interaction with those men on that panel then I’d maybe have cause for concern but every single one of those men treated me with the utmost of respect, on and off camera.

Fatty might have said he liked my dress, mostly to be nice I’m sure — he’s hardly known for his fashion acumen — but he then asked my opinion, respected it and respected me.

Someone else might have been offended by it and that’s their right, but I’ll never be pressured into “faux offence” because there’s a certain populist movement that I’m expected to embrace and follow.

Now the point of this story goes well beyond just the, in my mind, ridiculousness of that one interaction.

That same woman has been very active over the past month regarding the horrific events of October 7.

No, not in defence of the women brutalised by terrorist — what you might expect from a “raging feminist” — but in fact quite the opposite.

She’s refused to condemn the atrocities of Hamas.

Not once has she called out the sickening and barbaric rape, torture and murder of innocent women and children.

Not once has she expressed any sympathy for the victims.

Einav Moshebarda, the niece of Adina, who was kidnapped by Hamas, hugs a woman after telling her family's story at a protest in Tel Avia

Not once has she expressed horror at what occurred. Instead she has tried to justify it.

So let me get this straight. It’s not okay for a man to tell me that my dress looks nice but it’s okay for a man to rape a woman, shoot her in the head, then “finish off”?

Makes perfect sense.

You can express absolute dismay at the loss of life occurring right now in Gaza — it is absolutely heartbreaking — but to do so while remaining silent regarding the atrocities of October 7 is disgraceful.

I’ve chosen not to name this woman because, unlike her, I have no interest in targeting individuals. She’s one of many who are just as appallingly hypocritical in this space.

Women who have spent years condemning and targeting men for their apparent “appalling” treatment of women.

Some absolutely justified, some absolutely not. Some cruel and unfair.

You cannot cherry pick when you devote your life to a movement or cause. You either do it completely or not at all.

So many of these women have been so completely exposed over the past month.

Why are you not only silent but almost supportive when Jewish and Israeli women are raped and killed?

You never cared about the true, universal sisterhood of women, you only ever cared about yourselves and how you could use a movement to further your own careers or for relevance. You have now been exposed for exactly what you are and no amount of ‘me too’ hashtags will ever change that.