Erin Molan: Manly’s Pride jersey fiasco isn’t symbolic of how Australia feels

Imagine having your right to love who you love debated by people you’ve never met, writes Erin Molan. Here’s why I felt sick when the story about Manly’s jersey broke this week.

Five years ago, I spoke on the Today Show about marriage equality and the AFL taking an active stance in the lead up to the national vote.

I began by making completely clear my own views. That I’d be voting “yes” and that I hoped every other person in the country did the same — including AFL players.

I was then critical of the sporting code for getting involved.

I was reading a lot of commentary, listening to a lot of talkback radio and speaking to people in person. The overwhelming feedback I was getting was that people didn’t want politics and sport mixing.

They were also annoyed at being told what to do, told how to vote. I was genuinely worried that the involvement of businesses and sporting codes would somehow create so much division and hate that we would end up hurting more the very people this was all supposed to be for.

The Manly Pride jersey furore proves that society has a long way to go to end discrimination. Picture: Terry Pontikos

I was wrong. This wasn’t a political issue.

The fact it was a vote to change laws may have led me to believe that at the time, but I now know better. It was about a very basic human right. One that should have existed from day dot, but nothing is perfect and human beings, along with society, have always been flawed.

I have a gay brother. It is the least interesting thing about him.

He’s super smart, a successful pilot and the nicest and most decent human being you’ll ever meet. He’s been with his partner for nearly a decade and they got engaged this year.

The only thing I have ever worried about when it comes to his sexuality is his welfare. That’s it.

All I want for him is to never feel again the way I know he felt for much of his life. Discriminated against, looked down upon and judged.

This Sea Eagles fan showed her colours during at Thursday’s round 20 NRL match. Picture: Getty Images

Things have undoubtedly improved for members of our LGBTQI+ community — and for that we should all be very grateful. Change takes time.

Breaking down archaic beliefs and attitudes can take generations.

Nothing is perfect but for this group to still have to defend its right to merely “exist” is heartbreaking.

When the story regarding Manly’s jersey broke this week — and the subsequent backlash to it — I felt sick.

Not just for my brother but for the hundreds of thousands of fellow Australians again in the headlines through no fault of their own.

Imagine having your right to love who you love debated by people you’ve never met. Your morals, ethics and respectability questioned because you love John instead of Jane, or Jill instead of Jack.

It is so ridiculous.

I am fairly conservative by nature when it comes to politics, the economy, national security and a myriad of other issues.

You’d be hard pressed trying to paint me as “woke” or “left leaning” … in fact to do so would be laughable.

Supporting those who love someone of the same sex is not “left leaning” or “woke”. That belief is ridiculous. There are absolutely members of that community who are both of those things and there are plenty who aren’t.

There are also plenty of deeply committed religious Australians who love and support our homosexual community. Who go to church every Sunday, are baptised and confirmed, and who choose love and acceptance over any of the other million messages open to interpretation in thousand-year-old texts.

Other fans at the Sea Eagles v Roosters match supported the seven players who would not wear the Pride jersey. Picture: Getty Images

My parents are Catholic, voted “yes” to same-sex marriage and love my brother and his partner. In fact, my other siblings and I joke that Mick’s partner Dan is the favourite son-in-law.

I do not want the players refusing to wear the jersey to be attacked or abused. No one should ever be subjected to that.

I know one of them pretty well. Josh Aloiai spoke out publicly in defence of me during an incredibly tough time and I will be forever grateful to him. I know him to be a strong and decent man.

I believe and hope in time that he will be a catalyst for change in his community.

I respect freedom of speech and religious freedoms. What I cannot accept is the lack of consistency sometimes present in the ‘religious reasons’ justification.

You either fully follow the teachings or you don’t. You cannot cherry pick which parts of your religion you honour.

There have also been a large number of Polynesians speaking out in defence of the LGBTQI community this week. My Instagram feed has been flooded.

The jerseys sold out online.

It all gives me hope and we need it because the lives of so many young people depend on it.

Martin Taupau talks to Reuben Garrick during the match. Picture: Getty Images

I wish Manly had handled this situation better but I also applaud their bravery in wanting to lead the way.

Maybe this is all part of getting to a place where this kind of division is a thing of the past.

Maybe this might be what encourages religious leaders to embrace inclusion and diversity — and to then enable their followers to do the same.

Right now, in households all over the country there are young people struggling immensely with their sexuality.

Some will take their lives this week. Some will be lucky enough to have incredible support around them, others won’t.

Some will be on the brink, in families or communities who worship rugby league, and this might be what takes them over the edge.

I hope not. I hope they are buoyed by some of the amazing support that’s emerged this week. I hope they are comforted by the words of Frank Puletua, Ian Roberts, Trent Robinson, Jordan Kahu and Corey Parker and the millions who agree with them.

I hope they know that the majority of Australians are in their corner.