David Elliott: Bored in Sydney? Not possible with this to-do list

There’s never an excuse to be bored in Sydney. David Elliott lists his favourite things to do ... do you agree with his choices?

School holidays. No two words put fear into the minds of parents more than the challenge that somehow you must find two weeks of activities to stop your family from ­descending into the sort of internal civil unrest that would bring down a Third World government.

It got me thinking how lucky we are to live in a city like Sydney, with enough distractions for all ages right across the year that we can mitigate the risk of hearing those two chilling words “I’m bored” with reasonable ease.

So, without further ado, here is my list of Sydney’s must-dos.

The Royal Easter Show

It’s addictive. Every year I say “I think we’ll give next year a miss” – and then as soon as Coles puts out the hot cross buns I get nostalgic for the taste of an overpriced dagwood dog and lemonade with enough sugar to put the most elite athlete into a diabetic coma.

We have a ritual that requires anyone returning from Sydney Olympic Park at Easter must first be hosed off on the front driveway, and only then will insulin be injected.

Celeste Patience, 9, knows how to enjoy Sydney Royal Easter Show. Picture: Justin Lloyd

Anzac Day March

Before they were out of nappies my two sons, Search and Destroy, would be ritualistically pulled out of bed every April 25 to attend a Dawn Service before standing for hours along George Street cheering on our ­Diggers (and sailors if they felt charitable).

There is something historical and sentimental about this special day that gives us all a glimpse back to a time when, although complicated and traumatic, we observed the best in humanity.

There’s nothing arrogant or boastful about supporting our military at an Anzac Day march, but it will give you a great sense of pride to watch.

The zoo – both of them

Sydney is one of the very few cities to host two international zoological parks and it would be a crime to visit just one.

They are both unique and reasonably priced learning experiences guaranteed to exhaust even the most hyperactive kid.

Family legend has it that as a child my late father-in-law once risked life and limb to climb over the bison enclosure to get in.

Another way to save the entry fee at Taronga Zoo is to go on your birthday, which is when I take Lady Elliott.

A penny saved ...

Jayla Puglisi, 4, enjoys Glow at Sydney Zoo. Picture: Jonathan Ng

CommBank Stadium

The hallowed ground of the mighty Parramatta Eels. If I knew CommBank was going to be so good I would have burnt down the previous facility years ago.

All the talk that this venture would cost Gladys the 2019 election was ignorant of the fact that in Western Sydney we take our sport very seriously.

I’m struggling to think of a better sporting facility, so if you’re only going to one footy match this year head out to Parra.

Vivid

They say that success has many fathers, so I’m a bit dirty about how the achievements this exotic free light show that welcomes winter to Sydney every year has never been credited to former premier Nathan Rees, who did a lot of the leg work.

A magical experience.

NRL Grand Final

The sharp end of sport in Sydney. This one is a must for your bucket list, even if your team hasn’t won one since 1986.

Every great city has to be able to boast one famous annual sporting event and the smell, colours and cheering at an NRL Grand Final can turn even the most dignified citizen into a screaming banshee.

Penrith players react to winning the 2024 NRL Grand Final. Picture: Getty Images

The Everest

What a fairy tale this horse race has become.

To paraphrase Canadian actor Kevin Costner: “Run it, and they will come.”

No wonder the Victorian Racing fraternity has put a fatwa on Peter V’landys, given he has done with the Everest in eight short years what they took a century to do with the Melbourne Cup.

But ladies, please, wear a fascinator.

Carols in the Domain

It’s the Royal Easter Show with Santa.

Just when you thought all the family Christmas traditions had been ­accounted for, someone suggests a picnic in The Domain on the Saturday before Christmas.

Like the Easter Show, this one’s addictive and neatly merges the secular traditions and spiritual context of this special time but, unlike all the other Christmas activities, you don’t have to sell a kidney to attend.

Sunday roast at home

Exhausted? Me too.

I’m a regular at Lady Elliott’s Sunday roasts and, despite giving her plenty of reasons not to invite me, I never miss one.

With all the pressures of modernity it’s comforting to know that Sunday afternoon in Australia is best observed with lamb, mint jelly and a shiraz.