Corrine Barraclough: Learn the art of giving up
When your passion for a pursuit wanes and it seems a phase is reaching an end, it can be hard to block the voices that preach success at all costs, writes Corrine Barraclough.
Opinion
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There is a spectrum of giving up successfully (I would like to use the word rainbow, but it’s been hijacked by another discussion).
On one extreme, we have the big bang. This may be the screaming, slamming of doors, dramatic end to a relationship.
In a job, the big-bang exit may include hurling f-bombs, hastily shoving notebooks into a bag, swiftly emailing files to a personal email, bolting to the shredder, and dashing for the exit.
On the other end is the calm, considered decision to draw a line.
We live in a society obsessed with success on steroids and are conditioned to invest in a notion of imaginary progression through life. Momentum makes the fabricated engine of purpose purr — as if any of it really matters.
Got a new partner, when are you getting married? Have a new job, when’s the promotion? When’s the pay rise? What’s your side-hustle? When’s the bigger house, faster car? Pretty good at sport … when are you going professional?
Speaking to several former professional athletes ahead of the Commonwealth Games, it strikes me that those who succeed in exiting professional sport slickly have mastered — or at least acknowledged — the art of giving up.
Giving up is not quitting. It is not an admission of failure. This is, perhaps, surrendering as opposed to abandoning.
There is a vast distinction between knowing when you have had enough and quitting in a heated moment.
Preparing to give up and adapting before walking away can be a lengthy process. This is not an overnight decision. It takes months of careful planning. You can bet your bottom dollar that the pain that’s been quietly haunting James Packer occupied many hours of reflection and rumination before he announced resigning from Crown Resorts.
In another field, when horses decide they don’t want to race anymore, we see signs they don’t enjoy the experience. Ask Chautauqua.
One professional swimmer turned commentator told me, “When I lost the passion to train I knew it was time to leave a sport that’s won or lost by the fraction of a second.”
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There is an acknowledgment here of the commitment and sacrifice it takes to be at the very top that’s often lost in a culture obsessed with flogging opportunity. Months later, a chapter was consciously closed. There is no shame, and should be no guilt, in deciding to draw a line.
Of course, knowing when to call time is an art. Everyone is different so there is no rule book to consult or examine. Recognising red flags, acknowledging the surge of rising stress and noticing patterns of failing health is an art in itself. Sadly, this is often learnt on the other side of experience.
Deciding how quickly to act, how swiftly to make the choice to let go of a goal or direction, may well be determined by the speed of picking up red flags as the days go by.
If you’re hurtling down black runs and buckling yourself every single day it may be time to ask yourself why, and if it’s really worth it.
If you can grab that thought cloud and stare at it, you begin to see that success can be achieved by giving up. Letting go.
If you can dare to pick at the thread of our social conditioning and challenge the notion that more is always better, you find the engine doesn’t need to be red-hot and raging.
Focusing on one thing you’re truly passionate about and giving that your all can be extraordinarily more rewarding than juggling 25 roaring chainsaws just to entertain the crowd.
If you truly believe “you can be whatever you want to be”, honestly and truly, you may well find the answer is much simpler than we’re ever being taught to seek.