Are you OK, mate? These are the words which saved my life

SEBASTIAN Robertson turned his own survival story into a powerful organisation helping young people cope with mental ill-health and depression.

Sebastian Robertson is the founder of Batyr, an organisation educationg young people about mental health. He is doing a first person piece for us on suicide in private schools.

Every time a community is shattered by a suicide the same questions are muttered: “Why would someone do this?” and “what could we have done to prevent it”? When it’s a young person, the grief is undeniably more intense and these questions are asked with an even heavier heart.

It is by chance, not choice, that as a ‘survivor’ of multiple suicide attempts as a young person, I can say my answer to ‘why’ is: hopelessness.

Seven years ago, at age 22, studying at university, I got to a point where I truly believed there was no way out of how I was feeling other than to stop feeling at all.

The reason I am here today is because someone, only just in time, asked me if I was OK. For the briefest moment — in what was a lifesaving moment — I embraced my vulnerability and answered honestly. I wasn’t OK and I needed help.

That one conversation led me to a university counsellor _ but the challenges were far from over because I kept my depression a secret. Each trip to the counsellor’s office, which was unfortunately located in a rather conspicuous spot right above sports centre, filled me with dread. I was afraid of being ‘caught’ by friends and spent most of my sessions planning how I could exit the office without being seen.

However, it was a first step and after eventually finding a psychologist off-campus whom I connected with, things started to look up.

I wanted students to realise this: my survival was a success story — a result of one moment when I embraced the fact I needed support.

Three years later I started to ask the other question: “What could have been done to prevent it?”

I realised my greatest barrier to seeking help was the shame I felt. I’d had a great life: good family, private schooling, leadership roles, travel, employment.

I guess outsiders might have wondered: “Who, you? But you have everything!”

But mental ill health and illness do not discriminate, and I decided to share my story with other young people. I truly feel it might have helped me, as a younger person, to hear the story of someone just like me.

I wanted students to realise this: my survival was a success story — a result of one moment when I embraced the fact I needed support.

I wanted them to know if I could change one thing, it would be that I reached out for support sooner. By embracing my vulnerability and having an honest open conversation about my mental health, I really hoped I could help break the stigma.

Suicide is the leading cause of death for Australians between 15 and 44 years of age. Alarmingly it is estimated that for every completed suicide there are 30 suicide attempts. It’s not improving; 2500 suicides were reported in 2012, the largest number in the past decade.

Research shows the sharing of peer experiences is hugely significant in reducing stigma. But, as I have discovered, although there are many mental health organisations providing incredible support to young people, there’s a distinct lack of engagement with those who need help the most.

I wanted to bridge that gap. In 2011 with the support of family, friends and many more people, I created a not-for-profit organisation called Batyr, named after a talking elephant from Kazakhstan (Wikipedia it). My goal was to give a voice to the elephant in the room.

As a community, we must create an environment where it is OK to share your story, and OK to show your vulnerability

Batyr is driven by young people, operated independently of service providers and specifically focused on engaging and educating young people to help one another.

We train young people in how to share their personal experience of mental ill-health and start a conversation in their communities. Our speakers visit schools and universities to share their stories with the aim of empowering young people to reach out to the great services around them.

One of our programs is Being Herd, a two-day workshop where young people (18-30) learn how to creatively share their story of mental ill health, whatever it may be. Participants learn this key lesson: their stories are powerful tools to reduce stigma, by focusing on the help and support they have found.

To date, we have reached over 14,000 young people through school and uni programs across Australia, teaching them about mental health management, resilience building and the support networks available.

We get incredible, uplifting feedback: like the Year 11 guy who approached me when we returned to a school we’d visited the previous year.

“You won’t remember me, but I remember you,” he said.

“You spoke to my year group last year, I didn’t say anything at the time because your story was the story I was living. You made me realise I needed help and that there was hope. I just wanted to say thank you.”

We are only just scratching the surface. No individual will be able to drive this. As a community, we must create an environment where it is OK to share your story, and OK to show your vulnerability.

Batyr is a platform for young people to embrace vulnerability, learn empathy and realise that we’ve all overcome adversity and challenges. We are all courageous.

Hundreds of young people have put their hands up to share their stories, because, as someone way smarter than me once said: “If not me, who? If not now, when?”

Remaining silent is no longer an option.

Suicide survivor Sebastian Robertson, 29, is the founder and CEO of Batyr,

an organisation aimed at empowering young people to better mental health.