Angela Mollard: Why do celebrities feel compelled to date one another?

Why, when they have the pick of humanity, do celebrities choose another person with a paparazzi-attracting profile and all the impediments and neuroses that come with being famous, asks Angela Mollard.

Is there anything more gratifying than seeing two of the world’s most beautiful people caught on camera kissing each other’s faces off with all the elegance of a pair of headbutting camels?

While pashing in public should not be a spectator sport, who among us was not a little bit delighted by the clunky awkwardness and general gropiness when Harry Styles and Emily Ratajkowski were snapped in a clinch in Tokyo.

Even a surplus of perfect genes could not elevate the rain-strewn scene or dampen gossip that the pair were now in some confected love triangle with Olivia Wilde (the Biebers and Selena Gomez must be delighted the spotlight has moved off them). But more confounding than tricky trios or dodgy street clinches is the celebrity compunction to date each other.

Why do they do it? Why, when they have the pick of humanity, do celebrities choose another person with a paparazzi-attracting profile and all the impediments and neuroses that come with being famous? Granted, you can see why Styles might want to hook up with someone as gorgeous as Em Rat but power coupling – aka submitting yourself to celebrity magnified to the power of two – is an invitation to more attention, headlines and grief. And that’s before they break up.

Harry Styles Picture: Neilson Barnard/Getty Images

Emily Ratajkowski. Picture Michael Tran / AFP

Celebrity coupling didn’t work for Brangelina (Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie) or Bennifer 1.0 (Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner) and by the looks of their terse exchange at the Grammy Awards it may not work for Bennifer 2.0 (Ben and Jennifer Lopez). Any way you pair them – “Ratstyle”, “Harem” – there’s no auspicious moniker for Ratajkowski and Styles even before you factor in the damage caused by the model taking up with her friend’s ex.

It’s nonsense that famous people only meet famous people and therefore have a limited dating pool. While it may be tricky signing yourself up for Bumble or the new kink-focused dating app Feeld, celebrities have constant contact with civilians.

They stay in hotels, they eat in restaurants, they work with producers and other creatives so why wouldn’t they opt for someone who has a normal job and an ego commensurate with their status? A civilian lover may not share your experience of fame, but they have an ease and stability which offers respite from the madness.

Benifer 2.0 – can they make it work the second time? Picture: Jon Kopaloff/Getty Images

This notion of a celebrity and civilian pairing is artfully explored in Curtis Sittenfeld’s new novel Romantic Comedy which is released next week. Sally is a sketch writer on a comedy show and when her colleague and average-looking friend Danny Horst starts dating a famous actress she writes a sketch called the “Danny Horst Rule”. Essentially, it explores how men can date out of their league but women can’t. That is, until cynical Sally finds herself working with pop star Noah Brewster and it soon becomes clear that, despite the disparity in their attractiveness and fame, he starts to fancy her. It’s post #MeToo Jane Austen where a mismatch of class is swapped out for inequity of celebrity.

While the relationship success rate of mere mortals is hardly boast-worthy, any celebrity who has experienced even two minutes of fame knows that plumping for one of your own is riven with problems. Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell along with Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds seem to be outliers to the trend, but if you were to create a Hollywood Walk of Divorced Fame it would stretch from LA to Mexico.

I’m surprised Meryl Streep, who has been with her sculptor husband Don Gummer for 45 years, doesn’t take newbie actors aside and advise them on the benefits of romancing ordinary people. Imagine if she’d had a word with Nicole Kidman or Katie Holmes before they embarked on some risky business with Tom Cruise. “You might want to drop into an art school or a law firm or a building site instead of falling in love on set,” she might advise.

Smart celebrities have realised this already, which is why Matthew McConaughey, Matt Damon, Eddie Redmayne, Julia Roberts and Cate Blanchett have enjoyed long happy unions with people who may be successful but have less high-profile jobs. Damon has been with wife Luciana Barosso for 20 years after noticing her working in a bar while he was filming Stuck on You in 2003. Spotted by fans, he apparently hid out behind the bar where Barosso put him to work making cocktails. At the end of the night he invited her out but, as she told him, she had a four-year-old daughter to get home to. Apparently, such normalcy made him adore her even more.

While Jennifer Garner has found love with businessman John Miller following her messy break-up with Affleck, few realise that these rare pairings are good for both parties. The civilian is grateful for the restaurant tables and swanky holidays that come with dating a celebrity while the latter’s life is much enhanced by having someone who can nip incognito to the supermarket and teach them how to stack a dishwasher or park.

With such benefits on offer, Ratstyle might be inclined to look further afield before sealing the deal.