Angela Mollard: Sorry Kate – this is why I won’t wear florals this year

Sometimes, fashion is no bed of roses. That’s why Angela Mollard is pressing pause on peonies ... and all floral prints dresses for summer.

For months I’d heard the rumours.

A comment here and there, a raised eyebrow, a look of incredulity.

The news had filtered down from the northern hemisphere around the time the daffodils and bluebells started to bloom and by the time the Swedes had celebrated midsummer with their flower crowns and strawberry cakes the whisper had built to a full-blown roar.

Indeed, the news was so unexpected and shocking that anarchy was breaking out at the school gate as mothers fought to signal their allegiances. A friend attending the famed Chelsea Flower Show was facing a conundrum: did she stick with convention or indicate her progressiveness by joining the revolution?

Down here in Australia, I simply laughed.

Kate steps out in a floral print frock. Picture: Getty Images

The fickle Brits might’ve declared that the floral dress was dead but here where the sun shines with some consistency there was no chance women would give up the most comfortable and versatile item in their wardrobe.

Cancelling the camellia prints and ditching the daisies was inconceivable – like putting a kitten through a mincer.

You can’t forget a forget-me-not. You can’t torpedo a tulip. You can’t banish a buttercup, although technically they’re a weed. You can, meanwhile, over-fertilise your alliteration but I digress.

Floral dresses are to summer what skinny jeans and white trainers are to winter – unkillable. Of course, plenty have welcomed the new denim silhouette and the multi-coloured sneakers but when women need comfort and dependability they revert to what they know.

The floral dress is as ubiquitous as a meat pie at the footy or budgie smugglers at the beach. Floaty and forgiving, you can wear one to Bunnings, a barbecue, the races or a wedding

especially since they no longer require Bridgerton-esque bosom upholstery or the multi-layered skirting that miraculously proves no barrier to bonking on The Great. Florals, I rightfully reasoned, would prove to have the clinging power of a mature bougainvillea.

Kate chooses a print foe the school run in 2019. Picture: AFP

Attempts to excise them from our wardrobes would earn detractors a sharp spike.

In any case, attempts to raze the fashion favourite with a spray of superiority by style editors would never convince the masses. When retailers such as the UK giant John Lewis got on board declaring there had been a vibe shift and that florals were as tired as a 10-day-old bouquet of delphiniums it was an easy translate: “We know you’ve got closets full of florals and because there’s a cost-of-living crisis we know you won’t buy another frock unless we position yours as unfashionable.”

Except they said it in a nicer way. More flowery.

Plus they didn’t reckon on the Princess of Wales factor. If Kate wears florals – and she does – then so will the rest of the world.

I have at least half a dozen floral dresses, among my favourites a blue and white print that makes my eyes look bright blue, and an old Tigerlily maxi in such a gorgeous print I wish I could replicate it on bedlinen. But when the unseasonably warm weather rolled in a few weeks ago for some reason I didn’t reach for them. I couldn’t explain it, they just felt a bit, well, floral.

Too pink. A plethora of pink florals.

Then I went to Europe and getting dressed for dinner with three very stylish girlfriends I found myself unusually indecisive. My pink dress felt too pink and I opted for white linen pants and a Zara cap-sleeved T-shirt in a muted blue.

I was glad I did. One turned up in a navy sheath dress, another in oatmeal pants and the third in Missoni stripes. It was 30 degrees. There wasn’t a sprig to be seen.

The following week in Lisbon as I overlooked the city from the Bairro Alto a woman sitting on a park bench below caught my attention. She had cropped blonde hair and was wearing a white dress with large black spots. She looked sensational. Fresh. Modern. Now.

I looked down at my white shorts and oversized blue shirt and realised I’d adopted this simpler look without realising it. I knew instantly that when I returned home I wouldn’t wear florals all summer.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t – and there is nothing sexier than a bloke in a floral shirt – but I’m pressing the pause button on the peonies. Just as nautical styles are a perennial which means you sometimes can’t face another bloody stripe and need to decommission all your navy and white for a season, now is that moment for blooms. They need some time in the shade so they can return rejuvenated and emboldened.

That doesn’t mean dresses are dead. I recently picked up an H & M lightly ruched sheath dress in a monochrome grey-green shade for $24.99, and stripes, spots, Aztec and geometrics were alive and kicking in London. Even thick horizontal stripes can work as evidenced by Meghan Markle stepping out in Australian designer Posse’s black and white tube dress which has sold its socks off.

My advice? Regard your florals like an over-enthusiastic creeper. Prune them back hard and they’ll come back better and brighter than ever.

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