William Tyrrell: Missing toddler’s grandmother has lost all hope of finding him alive

EXCLUSIVE: Speaking for the first time, Natalie Collins has revealed the depth of anguish in her family over the disappearance of William Tyrrell, snatched from his front yard 18 months ago.

Missing toddler William Tyrell / Picture: Supplied

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THE mysterious disappearance of William Tyrrell nearly 18 months ago has devastated his distraught grandmother, leaving her desperate, destitute and even suicidal.

Some in William’s family still pray for a miracle — that one day he will walk through the door of the home where he vanished on the mid-north coast in September 2014.

But for his heartbroken grandmother Natalie Collins, that hope is now dead.

Missing toddler William Tyrell / Picture: Supplied

“I wish he was alive, but I don’t think he is,” she says.

Speaking for the first time about the suspected kidnapping, Ms Collins, 56, reveals the depths of the ­anguish she and her family have suffered.

“There are times when I just haven’t wanted to live,” she says between heavy sobs.

Ms Collins has just begun a new job in Western Sydney. She wasn’t able to hold down her last one after her world was torn apart on the day that William vanished.

On that day, hundreds of kilometres north at the home of another of William’s relative, the happy three-year-old boy was allegedly snatched while playing in the garden in his favourite Spiderman suit.

Despite extensive police investigations, no trace of him has ever been found.

Officially, police say he could still be alive and are continuing to treat his disappearance as a missing person’s case.

“It has been hell,” Ms Collins says. “I had no job, I had no income.

“It’s been tough. “With William gone I couldn’t even concentrate. I just kept crying and crying and crying about the whole thing.”

Ms Collins regularly finds herself lying awake at night, staring at the ceiling and wondering what happened to her grandson. She has her theories, but for legal reasons they can’t be printed.

“Whatever they’ve done, they’ve done very well,” she says, again choking up.

“It’s just a damn mess. This is the best it gets. It’s just like this every day.”

“It’s been hell,” Ms Collins says.

William Tyrrell has been missing for 18 months.

Another family member, who was also present for the ­interview, believes the tiny superhero has fallen victim to a paedophile ring.

“Everything I read in the media about a paedophile ring — it’s like reading a book of what I thought happened,” he says.

Another of William’s closest relatives, who can’t be identified, suffered a chilling premonition the day he disappeared from the home on Benaroon Drive in Kendall.

Police search for evidence near Bonny Hills in March last year / Picture: AAP

“(He) got up to go to work and I looked up to the sky and the sky was black. Something threw him off so he went back inside and just sat out in the back garden,” Ms Collins says.

“He couldn’t believe that he was just gone, how does that happen? After that everything just went black.

“Now he’s just vanished off the face of the earth.

“How does that happen?”

An artist’s impression of two cars seen near the property in Kendal where William vanished / Picture: Channel 9

As well as losing her job, Ms Collins’ relationship of 30 years has been shaken to the core by William’s inexplicable disappearance.

And she has thought often of suicide, to escape the pain.

She hardly ever smiles any more. Not even as she remembers playing with the happy little boy who was always laughing.

She still thinks that perhaps, by some miracle, he is safe somewhere.

But in her heart there is only despair. “I couldn’t even get out of bed. I couldn’t work,” she says through tears.

“Every night we would watch the news.

“It has killed me inside. It has killed everyone.”

William Tyrell loved Spider-Man / Picture: Supplied

TIMELINE

SEPTEMBER 12, 2014

William Tyrrell vanishes from a property in Kendall on the mid-north coast shortly after 10.30am.

JANUARY 20, 2015

Police search the home of a local tradesman described as a “person of interest” who has denied any involvement in his disappearance.

FEBRUARY 19

Police ask for anyone within a kilometre of where William vanished to come forward.

MARCH 2

Homicide police search bushland at Bonny Hills, 20km from Kendall.

APRIL 17

A paedophile ring is investigated in the local area, police reveal.

JUNE 26

A new public appeal is launched on William’s fourth birthday.

SEPTEMBER 7

Police appeal to the public for information about two cars spotted near the home in Benaroon Dr on the day William vanished.

SEPTEMBER 12

Communities across Australia hold a series of Walk for William marches to mark the first anniversary.

SEPTEMBER 19

The case is referred to the state coroner. Police say they believe that he could still be alive.

The search for William Tyrell goes on / Picture: Supplied