Torment that will haunt Kathleen Folbigg to her grave

Kathleen Folbigg, who was wrongfully convicted of killing her four children, is preparing to celebrate Christmas with her friends and look to the future but there is one secret that still haunts her.

Kathleen Folbigg, the woman wrongly convicted of killing her four children, will never know the location of the ashes of her babies.

In an exclusive interview with The Sunday Telegraph, Ms Folbigg revealed she felt like she would never have full closure, and was finding other ways to honour the memories of Caleb, Patrick, Sarah and Laura, whom she missed desperately every single day.

During her 20 years in jail, Ms Folbigg clung to one hope — her children’s remains would be placed in a public space so she and loved ones could visit them and pay their respects.

But in “further salt to her wounds”, Folbigg has been informed that her former husband scattered the ashes in 2016 while she was in prison.

“Before Craig changed his mind about me, we were still communicating and I was trying to get him to put them somewhere that was public so myself and others could visit them,” Ms Folbigg said.

Kathleen Folbigg has some special decorations this Christmas in honour of her children. Picture: Adam Yip

“I told him this was not just about me. There are a lot of people who loved our children and also felt painful loss following their deaths.”

“When I got out I tried to chase down what happened to their ashes; it looks like he has scattered them without informing me. I was devastated,” she said.

“It continues to hurt me that I have no way of knowing where they are, no closure, no chance of visiting them.”

Craig Folbigg died of a heart attack earlier this year.

As Christmas approaches, Ms Folbigg will honour her children, who she “misses every single day”.

One of her best friends has organised for a special decoration for the tree — an ornament with each of her children’s names on it.

“This decoration that was made for me by my dear friend will have pride of place on a tree in years to come.”

Leesa Newman, Kathleen Folbigg and Kylie Barry getting ready to celebrate Christmas together at Leesa's home in Charlestown. Picture: Adam Yip

Ms Folbigg, who will spend the day with her closest friends, will not be missing the lonely December 25 day in jail — or the “turducken”, the bland mix of Turkey, duck and ham that was dished up most years.

“They had pudding but it was never edible, you never enjoyed it. It was presented in the same trays you always got, so you didn’t really bother eating it

“I certainly don’t miss being locked in all day; there weren’t as many staff on so we wouldn’t be allowed out for long. You don’t blame staff for wanting to celebrate Christmas with their families. It’s not their fault. But it was one of the loneliest days — a lot of depression that goes with it.”

Ms Folbigg has lifelong friends, including Leesa Newman and Kylie Barry, who have made the lead-up to Christmas this year is a little more normal than the last, which was her first on the outside just weeks after her convictions were overturned because a second inquiry found reasonable doubt about her convictions.

Another person who will make the Christmas period feel a little more normal this year is her lawyer, Rhanee Rego, who has fought for Folbigg since 2017 and was instrumental in her release and acquittal.

Caleb Folbigg.

Patrick Folbigg.

Sarah Folbigg.

“After all Kath has been through, she deserves to be able to celebrate like everyone else”

“Not knowing where her children’s ashes are is constant agony. Kath has been stripped bare. The one hope she had of visiting her children’s ashes has been taken from her. For 20 years there has been continual taking, and still, no attempt to give any anything back.”

Folbigg is awaiting what is anticipated to be the largest compensation payout in Australia for her 20 years of wrongful conviction and the lifelong trauma she will continue to suffer as a result.

“We are still waiting for the State to compensate Kath financially for the decisions they made in wrongly investigating, prosecuting, dismissing appeals, failing in a first inquiry while in maximum security prison fearing for her life each day.” Rego said

“The State finalising this is the only way Kath can put this horrific ordeal behind her. She cannot close this chapter until they allow her to do so.”