The scars of losing a baby boy are what motivates Brooke Hanson to live her best life
She survived an accident that almost killed her and then her son Jack died at just nine months, but former Olympian Brooke Hanson draws strength from the darkest days of her life.
NSW
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She is best remembered as the happiest Olympic silver medallist Australia has ever seen but there were two other critical moments in swimmer Brooke Hanson’s life that changed its course forever – tragedies that, years later, still propel her forward and inspire her to make every moment of every day count.
One was the electric shock that prompted her to retire from the sport that dominated her life.
The other was the death of her son Jack, at nine months old.
Both moments changed her to the very core but a shift in perspective got her through and to this part of her life, her 40s, and her happiest decade yet.
“When I look at my life and what I went through, what I achieved as an athlete, and then retiring from sport – which wasn’t quite on my terms – but I felt that my heart wasn’t in it anymore,” she tells Sydney Weekend.
“There was so much more that I wanted to achieve, and becoming a mum was better than achieving Olympic medals. But then losing my son, that was my biggest nightmare.
“Happiness to me has been a long journey through lots of heartache and pain as an athlete and as a mother but I realise that happiness to me is living every day like it’s my last and not worrying about the judgment.
“Since retiring, for me, I feel like a free butterfly.”
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Growing up in Manly on Sydney’s northernbeaches, Hanson was taught to swim by the legendary Olympian and internationally acclaimed coach Terry Gathercole at nearby Killarney Heights. She was four, and had been involved in two near-tragic events involving water, so swimming became a priority that quickly turned into a passion.
The Mackellar Girls High school student was undefeated from Year 6 to Year 12 in her favourite event, the 100m breaststroke, and at the age of 16, made her international debut as the youngest member of the 1994 Commonwealth Games Australian swim team competing in Victoria, Canada, finishing in fourth place in the 200m breaststroke.
She missed the 1996 Olympic Games selection by just 0.11sec but ever determined, she moved to Melbourne at the age of 19 to train under then national breaststroke coach Leigh Nugent and to study journalism at Deakin University. She overcame the disappointment of failing to qualify for the Sydney 2000 Olympic Games team by claiming victory in the 50m breaststroke at the 2000 Telstra Australian Championships, and after a series of personal best times, records and wins, in 2004, aged 26, she finally achieved her childhood dream of becoming an Olympian.
Australians will never forget the ecstatic Hanson winning a silver medal in the 100m breaststroke in Athens, and adding a gold as a heat-swimming member of the 4x100 medley relay team. Both were a dream come true.
She made history at the FINA World Short Course Championships in Indianapolis where she won a record six gold medals. Then, in front of a home crowd at the Melbourne 2006 Commonwealth Games, she claimed silver on her 27th birthday.
A year later she married long-time partner and fellow swimmer Jared Clarke but triumph was about to turn to tragedy.
June 17 is the 15th anniversary of the day Hanson suffered a near-fatal electric shock while appearing at a pool and spa show in Melbourne.
She retired from swimming shortly after.
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“I’d missed two Olympics, been to one, had some fantastic results and then finished my journalism degree and was doing a little bit with Channel 9 and had my foot in what life could be beyond the pool,” she remembers.
“Then I got the electric shock in the swim spa and that shifted my perspective on life.
“I thought if that was the last day I was going to live, there was so much more I wanted to do.
“So that shift in my mindset made me start thinking about continuing to do these TV shows. I had finally married my teenage sweetheart, I wanted to start a family and I wanted to really take my motivational speaking to an international level.
“It was totally a shift.”
The memories of that shift came flooding back to Hanson when Australian tennis champion Ash Barty made her shock retirement announcement last month.
“I found it really inspirational, and it brought back so many feelings of when your heart’s not in it any more,” Hanson says.
“Everything she said really resonated with me. It was so powerful. I love that honesty and being open with yourself and sharing that self-love and self-worth.
“You’ve got to be all in or get all out. You can’t be the best of your game in any field if you’re not 100 per cent committed to wanting to exceed and excel. If you’re fully committed to succeed and you’ve got that happiness from within, success will come and that’s always been my biggest belief.
“So everything that happened with Ash I was totally inspired by – from being a fellow Olympian to being a mum raising young athletes, and then as a woman.
“Doing it for the wrong reasons, for the prize money or the sponsors or because your coach wants you to do it, you’re never going to get the results you truly want, because you’re not happy.
“Today I feel free but still free to dream and set goals and hope and wish for other areas of your life to be as successful.
“To use the tools that helped me achieve in the pool, and know I’ve got the resilience and drive and determination to put all of that into running my own business and seeing that succeed. That’s where I get a lot of joy and happiness from, every day.”
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Hanson, now 44, lives on the Gold Coast with husband Jared and children Cooper, 12, Billy, 8, and Matilda, 6.
These are the best days of her life and ones she gets to share with her audience as a motivational speaker and mentor.
She relishes all the everyday has to offer, be it the kids’ sport merry-go-round, camping trips, swimming or surf lifesaving. But nothing trumps family time.
Every Sunday, the family of five put their devices away and play boardgames under candle light in honour of their son and brother Jack, who died 10 years ago this month after a nine-month battle with severe lung disease.
Jack was born 12 weeks premature, weighing just 663g.
“They said ‘Brooke, you might not survive and we have got to get this baby out straight away’. That was a shift right there to think that could have been my last day,” she says.
“Jared may have been raising Cooper as a single dad on his own. He could have lost both of us that day.
“So I had that moment of how life can be taken from you just in an instant.
“Jack and I both survived that day, but I rang my mum and thanked her for being the best mum and the best mentor and such an amazing hero of mine.
“That conversation was just so raw and real and authentic.
“I never forget those moments and I realise that those really dark moments, the despair of just how crazy it was to be told that Jack and I weren’t going to make it that day – it’s those moments I’ve made an effort to honour.
“I’m taking all the positives from it and implementing them into my own life, to live every day with passion and purpose and be the best I can be because I felt there were moments where it could have gone completely the other way.
“That’s what makes me today. It totally shaped me. I’m proud to be that person today and to wear the scars.”
The grief of losing a child will always weigh heavily on the heart of Hanson, who always refers to herself as a mother of four.
Her goal is that Jack’s legacy is remembered, and one way she does that is by being an ambassador for the Life’s Little Treasures Foundation.
“My heart was so heavy for so long and the heaviness slowly lifted but now it feels like it’s a badge of honour if anything, and they are scars that I channelled straight into giving my own life purpose and making sure his legacy is forever remembered,” she says.
“That fills my own cup up and it gives me my own power at times when I need it or when I’m missing him.
“So I’ve learnt to constantly deal with the grief, but then honour him forever to know that it’s OK to have beautiful memories and it’s OK if there are still tears.
“He’s part of our family’s life forever, which is beautiful.”
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Busy is a word Hanson won’t say. It’s their family’s swear word because everyone has a choice and is responsible for their own decisions, she says.
But there is undoubtedly a lot on their plate.
They are always in and out of Queensland Children’s Hospital to help Billy, who has a condition called intestinal neuronal dysplasia, a disease of the intestine that affects one in 3000 Australians. It’s something they live with and manage as best they can, and an experience that prompted Hanson to become an ambassador for The Starlight Foundation. She is constantly called to action for causes that count.
“We decided to have four children. We’ve got our angel that looks over us and three beautiful children, and we wanted to get them into sport,” she says. “We wanted to get them into musical instruments and they all have stuff going on, and I run my own business and my husband does shift work as a firefighter and we’re, of course, just constantly doing things.
“I love having kids that are active and learning new skills so the b-u-s-y word I won’t use because it’s a choice I’ve made to create this world for my family.”
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Ever since they lost Jack, they have committedto disconnecting to reconnect, and in addition to the candlelight games nights, the family goes away every three months for a long weekend or even a week, just to be together. No devices. Everyone just connecting as a family.
“We need to take so many lessons from Covid downtime that extra family time is just so important,” she says.
Hanson says their three children are brought up the same way she and Jared were. To give everything 110 per cent and know they will be supported by their parents, no matter what.
“Our eldest is almost 13 and he started joining early morning swimming sessions, and he’s doing really well with his nipper competitions,” she says.
“And he loves AFL and he’s on a sports scholarship at the local school.
“He’s doing surfing but it’s not just for one sport, it encompasses that athlete as a whole, because he’s still not sure what sport is his chosen sport.
“And I don’t think at 12 you should have to choose.
“If you asked me at 12, I was doing netball and water polo and surf lifesaving and I was going swimming. I was doing a lot.
“So for us, it’s just empowering them to make the decision if they want to better themselves.
“If Cooper is going to swimming training in the morning, his alarm goes off, he’s got to come and wake us and say it’s time to go. It’s not me setting my alarm to go.
“That was something our parents did for us, because it’s finding motivation from within.”
Having open conversations like that has helped ease the pressure the children may feel because Mum went to the Olympics and Dad was a great swimmer and represented Australia.
Those are big footsteps for little people to follow.
“When we go swimming, everyone’s like: ‘Oh, are you going to be like your mum?’. And that’s difficult for them but I’m like: ‘You be the best person you can be’.
“If you want to play AFL or if you want to go to the Olympics, you can.
“We were all there when they made the announcement of Brisbane 2032 and the kids were all so excited that the Olympics are coming to Queensland but that doesn’t mean you have to compete in them.
“You could be a spectator, you could be a volunteer, you might work in the media, you might work as a sports scientist. There are so many different avenues that sport can take you.”
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Despite living in Queensland, Hanson is hesitant to use the word “Queenslander”.
“I embrace everything that is Queensland, but the funny thing about that is I was born and raised in Manly and Sydney, and I’m a NSW Blue, so even the word Queenslander makes me feel like I go for the Queensland Origin team and I don’t, because I’m a NSW girl through and through,” she says.
“Home is always where your heart is, so for me to live in Queensland, it’s a place where my husband and I always wanted to raise a family because of the lifestyle and obviously the beach and the water and everything that we love.
“But I have this beautiful connection with where I grew up, and no matter where I go, it’s nice to know that you still do feel like it’s home.”
It’s been a long journey to today’s happiness for Hanson, but helping people change their lives like she did, is something that keeps her smiling.
“I enjoy every aspect of my life and now I get inspired by motivating people to never give up on their own dreams.”
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She has gone back to her natural hair colour, exposing what she calls her “wisdom highlights” because life in her 40s is better than she imagined, but Hanson still loves being recognised as the happiest silver medallist that ever returned from an Olympics.
“I’ll be shopping with the kids and they will say ‘Do you know that person? How did they know you Mum?’ and that’s very humbling,” she says.
“I just think ‘Wow, what I achieved was almost 20 years ago, and that is still so special to know that people remember that’.
“I’m so happy with life because it feels like such a gift to have the three children and be in a marriage that has lasted and continues to last the test of time. Jared and I are closer than ever because of everything we have been through, and we are now celebrating 25 years together.
“The grey hairs are sprouting but we just embrace them.
“I’m just really happy. I’m doing me and I love doing me to the best of my ability.” ■
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