For the Sydney couple, who are both in their 50s, it’s not about exploring new sexual horizons.

It’s about meeting Linda’s needs — preferably with another long-term partner.

Theirs is an open relationship which evolved from a monogamous one as her libido increased and his diminished.

“My wife and I love each other,” Ray says. “This kind of arrangement is happening a lot with older couples, over 50, and especially if the man is having problems with erections or similar.

“In our case I have high blood pressure and diabetes, which has a terrible effect on my ability to satisfy my wife who still has a high libido.

“A lover or lovers for my wife is the ideal solution.”

The Johnston’s search outside the norm of monogamy is shared by thousands of Australians, however the exact figure is unknown — the Australian Bureau of Statistics didn’t ask questions on exclusivity when it collected data for its last publication on partnering.

Life coach Diane Cameron says an open relationship such as the Johnston’s serves as an example of how “monogamy isn’t always right”.

MY OPEN RELATIONSHIP STRENGTHENED OUR TRUST

“Not everyone’s wired that way,” Cameron, who specialises in multiple relationship coaching and alternative relationships, says.

“If monogamy was demanded, the wife would be very frustrated and the husband would likely get very guilty — one needs to look at the relationship individually.”

She says the fairytale romance had distorted how people got their needs met.

“It’s about being more rational about relationships, of how people’s needs change over time, and bodies change over time.

“Polyamory gives room for people, in this instance, to change, and it gives room for the relationship.”

Cameron, who is also in an open relationship, started out as a regular life coach before moving into alternative relationship support.

“My two worlds kind of met — helping people and coaching and also having space for polyamorous people.”

She says the lifestyle arrangement can be fraught with issues but the key to success is rooted in “compersion” — the feeling of happiness one has experiencing another’s joy.

“That’s a big thing in an ideal open relationship,” she says.

“It’s really beautiful to see your partner get that new relationship energy and get excited by someone — it can help ramp up your own relationship.”

She also says those in successful open relationships had let go of presuppositions, feelings of possession and needing someone.

“I don’t own my partner’s body. That was a big thing I had to understand about myself, as well as not needing someone to enjoy your own company,” she says.

“Interdependence can be really important, but if it’s too much it becomes really draining, especially if the relationship ends — then the people are left not knowing how to be by themselves.”

For the Johnstons, the key to a successful arrangement is complete and open communication, trust and a lack of jealousy.

They meet prospective partners together over coffee before any intimacy occurs, but so far they haven’t found a long-term partner for Linda.

But they are hoping their next “date” will be more successful.

The pair have arranged to meet up with a married man interested in a long-term relationship with another woman.

His wife, who has given him her blessing, is unable to have sex any longer as a result of a medical condition.

“She prefers he find a couple, as that is less threatening to her than if he found a single woman for sex,” Ray says.

“It also suits us, as he seems to love his wife and is not likely to become too emotionally involved with my wife.”

He says he hopes all four would become friends if the arrangement works out.

“We have agreed to tell (each other) everything that happens, so there are no secrets and no suspicions,” he says.

Relationship coach Andrew Mashiko spends his time between Melbourne and Sydney helping people to navigate open relationships successfully.

In his view, dealing with issues such as jealousy or lack of emotional investment was key.

“The thing that I most often hear from people is, ‘Oh, I couldn’t do that’, or ‘I could do that — as long as my partner wasn’t seeing anyone else,’ ” he says.

“(By) highlighting and working through the underlying emotional issues that trigger these experiences, clients are able to free themselves from the insecurities that create jealousy and need for ownership over their partners.”

He says it’s about working towards a goal of transparency and “radical self-responsibility”.

Mashiko also argues that monogamy “isn’t a model that works successfully or consistently”.

While it may be impossible to accurately gauge how successful or popular multiple — or open relationships — are, a new smartphone app has indicated there’s thousands of Sydneysiders interested in finding out more.

PolyFina founder Bruce Alexander says the app hasn’t been officially launched or promoted yet, but has already garnered 23,000 members while in its development phase. Most, he admits, are from the United States, but there’s at least 3000 from Sydney.

“There’s a fear that polyamory, or open relationships, would be the death of monogamy,” he says.

“Certainly what I’m seeing is it can save a monogamous relationship.

“I know people who have been living together for 20 to 30 years, get bored with each, think about splitting, start exploring an open relationship and, instead of splitting up, they end up going back to a monogamous lifestyle.

“Because they have the possibility of polyamory, just the knowledge, keeps them together.”

Alexander says he adopted the lifestyle after his wife’s death.

“When my wife died I had to think about what would happen in the future.

“I never had a life where I slept around and I didn’t want that.

“But I didn’t want to be in a structured monogamous relationship again.”

He now runs meet-up groups for those considering being in an open relationship and developed the app to bring the community closer together.

“There needed to be a group where people feel safe to explore without being judged and told they’re a bad person,” he says.

Meanwhile, Victoria Smith and her partner Danny Hansen, who are both sex coaches, represent a younger generation of couples who are embracing open relationships.

Smith says that when it comes to sexuality “there’s really no place you need to fit in”.

“It’s about writing your own script,” she says.

“A lot of what happens in relationships is that we get really attached to this one person because we give so much of ourselves to that one person.

“They become the only person that really understands us and that can be really dangerous.

“What happens if I don’t have so much time to take care of my primary partner and he’s lacking … maybe he’s going through something and he needs someone to talk to about that.

“ Wouldn’t it be really beautiful if he could talk to one of his partners, and have that support there?

“That’s the kind of community I’m trying to build.”