Sonny Bill Williams book extract: How a footy legend knew his time was up

When Covid ruined Sonny Bill Williams’ Toronto Wolfpack deal he decided on a final fling in the NRL, but there was to be no fairytale ending. In an exclusive book extract, Williams reveals how the end of his footy career unfolded.

AUCKLAND, NEW ZEALAND - AUGUST 29: Sonny Bill Williams of the All Blacks poses for a portrait on August 29, 2019 in Auckland, New Zealand. (Photo by Hannah Peters/Getty Images)

The NRL allowed me to return to Australia. Packing up again was not quite as hard because we had barely unpacked, and the thought of being back in Australia brought comfort to Alana and me, though I think Alana would have liked to go back to New Zealand.

So, we packed up the kids and committed to the two weeks’ quarantine required to make a return to the NRL possible. The challenge of that and connecting with the Roosters boys lit me up.

I was pretty fit despite not being able to train with teammates for five months and before I flew back I had another clean-out of my knee to be sure it would hold up. I can’t even

remember how many general anaesthetics I have had, but it is a lot! I was looking forward to getting back on a field with the team and I was ready for another stint in the NRL. Especially after two weeks in hotel quarantine with the kids!

Sonny Bill Williams (Photo by Mark Kolbe/Getty Images)

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My first game was against the Canberra Raiders, and I came in off the bench in the second half. I loved being back out there, playing the game I grew up playing. I expected to be pushed, and I was. The rule changes to the game made it a lot faster, but nothing I couldn’t adapt to. Post-quarantine, I still had to work on my fitness, but coming away with the 18–6 win was awesome.

I played in the next three games then missed the qualifying final because of an injury to my neck, but I made it back for the do-or-die semi-final. We lost the match 22–18 to the Canberra Raiders, but the boys had given it their all to claw back to a near-win when it was looking bad early on. We almost got there. I felt bad for the boys, but experience has shown that sometimes the fairytale doesn’t happen. That is a hard lesson to learn but sometimes your best effort doesn’t bring home the trophy. I had a chat about how to deal with that with some of the younger boys and how they can use that disappointment to fuel their efforts next season and beyond.

Sonny Bill Williams had been warned that his career could have been over the age of 23. Picture: Mark Evans

Sonny Bill Williams leaving Bulldogs’ training on cructches. Picture Todd Martyn-Jones. Rugby League F/L

Sonny Bill Williams said he had injury anxiety since he was a child. Picture: Adam Knott

After the game I was asked if that was it for me, and at that point I didn’t know. I had to see what was happening with Toronto, but so much depended on the way Covid-19 was controlled and it wasn’t looking good in the UK or the US. And I had to admit that my thirty-five-year-old joints were finding it a bit tougher to get out of the starting blocks each week.

I was doing everything I could to keep my body competitive on a footy field, but the injuries had taken a toll. I worked hard to get back to an elite level and I was proud of that, but even after the extra effort I was putting in to be ready for game day, I still had to take too many painkillers and drugs just to play. At one point, I had been taking so many painkilling drugs I ended up with burning in my gut and had to have an endoscopy to check out what was happening.

In that last game against the Raiders, I had so many drugs in my system and yet I still had pain in my neck, back and knee. I came in after warm-up and asked the doc for more. He said he had a duty of care to uphold and that if I had any more, I could overdose. Although I still had the drive, I knew my time in footy had come to an end.

Sonny Bill Williams put his body through hell in both rugby league and rugby unionPics Adam Head

Not long after, I was doing a boxing interview and I just came out with the news that I was not going to play league or union anymore. Every player fears injury will be ollowed by a loss of form and being dropped. I had worked hard to keep bouncing back but Alana and I had talked about it and we feared me being forced out rather than going out on my own terms. I’ve had anxiety about injury, as you know, since I was first told by a doctor my career might be over by age twenty-three.

I’m proud to say that my last game of league in Australia was at the highest level, playing in an NRL semi-final. My last All Blacks game finished on a good note too.

Sonny Bill Williams with his family.

It was time to step away physically from the game. And I had other things I wanted to do, and new challenges waiting. Leaving the game physically was easier than I thought, but mentally the game still lingers. In the end, the conflict between what my body could give and what my mind expected was just too distant. Combine that with all the painkillers and anti-inflammatories and I knew I couldn’t play footy at an elite level anymore. I was in constant pain and I never wanted to be there just to make up the numbers. I always wanted to add value my way. I am forever grateful to my Creator for giving me such a long career. And I’ve been fortunate to have played alongside some exceptional sportspeople.

Sonny Bill Williams autobiography is called “You Can't Stop The Sun From Shining.”

There are so many players who have given me friendship over the years and countless others who made an impression. I’ve always shown respect to every man I ever took the field with in the different rugby codes, as well as the brothers I have met through boxing. I’ve already paid tribute to a few, but I want to thank all the teammates who I played with over the years for allowing me to achieve dreams I never thought possible. I hope you all know I will always be supporting you from afar.