‘Settle down and have children’: Liberal women lift the lid on sexist culture

“Too assertive”, “too opinionated”: Four Liberal women have lifted the lid on the shocking sexist comments they hear from their own party colleagues as they vie for a place in parliament.

A respected senior Liberal figure was told by party members she should “settle down and have children” instead of running for parliament and was “too assertive” to be an MP.

The treatment of Tanya Raffoul, Minister David Elliott’s chief of staff can be revealed today as the latest in a string of allegations that party members consistently overlook talented women for winnable seats.

It comes as Mr Elliott broke ranks, accusing his own party of throwing “women under the bus” and joining factional rival Treasurer Matt Kean in blowing the whistle on an insidious culture of putting “testosterone before talent”.

Party members told Ms Raffoul, who is single and childless, that she should set aside her political aspirations to “settle down”.

“I have been told that it’s best for me to go and settle down and have children and then think about a political career as I won’t have time to do that in parliament,” she said.

Parramatta hopeful Tanya Raffoul with David Elliott. Picture: Supplied

Ms Raffoul was told by rival faction members that she was "too opinionated". Picture: Supplied

She was also told by rival faction members that she was “too opinionated” with one Liberal Minister telling her she was “too assertive” for parliament.

Before she even begins her formal preselection — Ms Raffoul said she was “being urged quite aggressively” by party members to withdraw her nomination.

Ms Raffoul has the backing of Mr Elliott who will write a letter pleading to preselectors advocating for her.

She said increasing cultural diversity in parliament was just as important as improving the number of women.

“For me the sticking point has been both being a young female and ethnic,” she said.

Her boss took to social media on the weekend to slam his own party for throwing “women under the bus” for “blokes who would struggle” to inspire him “to get out of bed in the morning”.

Senior Liberal Natalie Ward lost the preselection for Davidson. Picture: Gaye Gerard

“We’ve seen high calibre ladies thrown under the bus by my party,” he wrote on the eve of Councillor Reena Jethi losing the preselection for Riverstone to a man.

“Stop putting testosterone before talent.”

Treasurer Matt Kean earlier slammed branch members for selecting a “former junior staffer” Matt Cross over the party’s most senior woman in parliament Natalie Ward for the seat of Davidson.

On Monday, Kean offered his support for Raffoul.

Mr Kean resisted commenting on the party’s gender woes but said the comments discouraging Ms Raffoul were “disgraceful”.

“I think those comments are absolutely disgraceful. They should have no place in the Liberal party or any other organisation,” he said.

He said his position on the party’s lack of female candidates was well known and “consistent”.

Mr Kean made the announcement alongside young and childless Ryde candidate Jordan Lane.

When asked if he was ever told to abandon his ambitions to settle down and have his children, Mr Lane said “of course not.”

Premier Dominic Perrottet said Ms Raffoul’s experience should not have happened before backing her as someone who would make a “great member of parliament”.

“She understands the political process, understands cabinet, and is somebody who I think is highly talented,” he said.

Matt Cross won preselection over Ms Ward.

A senior Liberal Minister blasted the party for discriminating against strong “assertive” women.

“Various factions in the Liberal Party will use anything to stop good candidates and that includes saying ’You should just have children’ or ’You are too assertive’,” they said.

“Margaret Thatcher, Gladys Berejiklian, the great conservative women have always been assertive.”

The Daily Telegraph spoke to three other current and former Liberal women — from both the state and federal arms of the party — who said women faced discrimination informally from party members as well as in the formal preselection.

One woman who was previously a federal candidate for the Liberal party from another state said she had 40 to 50 separate discussions about who would look after her children and if and when she intended to have more children.

“(They asked) what I was going to do about my children and who was going to look after them and that I should be home with my children, that Canberra wasn’t a place for a woman.”

She said the preselection process was the most horrible experience of her life and involved personal questions that would be illegal in any other job interview.

Another Liberal woman said the discrimination against women was tangible but was more “covert than overt”.

“It’s the conversations people have about you and your capabilities and your aptitudes so it’s very hard to counter … It happens in internal positions as well like state executives, ‘Oh well she’s got young kids’,” she said.

“Women are treated differently than men. (In branches) you find a lot of older white men … they’ve seen women be secretaries.”

Former Liberal staffer Dhanya Mani. Picture: Richard Dobson

Former Liberal staffer Dhanya Mani was previously approached to be a preselection candidate for the federal seat of Kingsford Smith in Sydney‘s east but the stories she heard from fellow Liberal women and her own experiences prompted her to pull out.

Ms Mani said she had once dreamt of being a candidate or even an MP but had been warned early in her career that her relationships and sexual encounters would be up for scrutiny.

She described the party’s preselection as “toxic, damaging and the opposite of merit based”.

A Liberal party spokesman said: “I note that the concerns mentioned … had not been raised with the Party, nor did they take place during any meetings of the Division.”

President Maria Kovacic added: “The majority of our most senior office holders are now women, clearly demonstrating a renewed direction of our Party.”