Matt Cooper reveals powerful painkiller addiction battle: ‘I’m not going to wake up’

In an extraordinary interview, Dragons legend Matt Cooper revealed how he reached breaking point last month from a painkiller addiction, confessing his crippling habit to his wife and entering rehab.

• WATCH THE FULL HALF-HOUR INTERVIEW HERE

RUGBY league great Matt Cooper has revealed his terror that he would die in his sleep as a result of a crippling painkiller addiction that eventually landed the Dragons legend in hospital.

The former NSW Origin centre said that after a year-long struggle with Endone he reached his breaking point one Sunday early last month when he broke down sobbing while holding his daughter’s hand — simply because he thought he was going to die.

“It was a cocktail of prescription meds, painkillers,” said Cooper, who played 243 NRL games for St George ­Illawarra.

Matt Cooper, the former NRL player, reached breaking point last month when he broke down sobbing holiding his daughter’s hand. Picture: Jonathan Ng

“I was like, ‘I’m taking too many pills here.’ There were times there I was like, ‘I’m not going to wake up.’

“I Googled how people die from this drug and they just stop breathing. That is when I realised I had to tell my wife. You can only hold a secret for so long and I was just getting tired.

‘TONIGHT’S THE NIGHT I WON’T WAKE UP’

“The night before I went in, I was sitting on the floor of my daughter’s bedroom holding her hand for an hour just crying because I thought tonight is the night I am not going to wake up. That was something I will never forget and something that will remind me never to take that drug again.”

WATCH THE FULL HALF-HOUR INTERVIEW HERE

Cooper, 37, who hung up his boots with the Big Red V at the end of the 2011 season, has been with wife Dallas for 16 years, eight of those as husband and wife.

The couple have two girls, Starr, 4, and Indie, 7, and they live in a beachside suburb south of Wollongong.

Cooper at his Windang home with his wife Dallas and daughters Starr and Indie. Telling his wife was the hardest part, he says. Picture: Jonathan Ng

Cooper was discharged from South Coast Private Hospital last Thursday, a month after admitting himself for intensive treatment for ­addiction to the narcotic analgesic Endone and other prescription medications.

“I was worried about her (Dallas) leaving me, taking the kids, all these thoughts go through your mind,” he said.

It was a cocktail of prescription meds, painkillers

“I’ve gone through a lot of pain and I put my family through a lot of pain. I knew then I would tackle this and I am going to go cold turkey but I needed to be in an environment that would help me but I couldn’t do that here (at home).

“Speaking to my wife was really hard to do because I had been lying to her for months.

“That was one of the hardest things to do, to tell my wife the truth — that was harder than actually coming off the drug. I just kept taking more and more. It got to the point where the medication I was taking wasn’t working anymore. My body built up a ­resistance to it and I just knew it was time so I confessed.”

Cooper’s addiction to painkillers started about a year ago after helping his father-in-law work with a jackhammer, triggering a neck injury.

Matt Cooper’s problems started with a neck injury caused by working on a jackhammer with his father-in-law. Picture: Jonathan Ng

“I’ve had injuries, I’ve had 14 operations, I’ve got bulging discs in my lower back, I’ve got bulging discs in my neck,” he explained.

“After working on the jackhammer all day, the next day my neck was gone. We got all the scans done and the CT scan came out that the two bulging discs were pushing on the nerve and that is why I was getting headaches, I found it hard to get out of bed.”

From there, Cooper was referred to a specialist. His options were to have a risky operation or ongoing pain medication paired with a cortisone injection and physiotherapy.

‘IT WAS A VARIETY... TAKE THIIS TAKE THAT’

“Surgery was going to be too risky of being paralysed. I’ve seen some guys get operations where they come out and they can’t even move their arm and it was a simple operation.”

From there he was prescribed Endone and other medication. “It was a variety, take this and take that.

“For 10 months I didn’t do any training because I couldn’t as my neck was too sore. I was sitting watching TV and pretty much not doing too much because I was in too much pain.” It was a downward spiral from there.

Dragons’ Matt Cooper on the charge in 2008.

Taking on the Cowboys in 2013 in Cairns.

When asked how he had access to large doses of prescription medication, Cooper said he “just knew people”.

Doctors have since told Cooper it only takes about four weeks to be hooked on Endone. “My doctor said I am lucky to be alive because of how much I was taking. You start with it and then your body gets used to it so you need to double it and it gets used to it again and you double that. I got to the point where it wasn’t working. My doctor was blown away.”

HIS BEHAVIOUR BECAME SLOW-MOTION

It was only really the last month before he went into rehab that Dallas realised her husband had a serious problem when she described his behaviour as “slow motion”.

“He’d be on the lounge nodding off mid-sentence,” she explained. “It was slow-mo — everything was really slow and he thought he was talking normal and acting normal. I took a video of him. I took it as a bit of an insurance policy in case he didn’t believe me that he was that bad.”

In hindsight, Dallas believes she should have recognised the signs sooner.

“I was kidding myself a lot of the time,” she said. “I kind of knew he was taking something but he always had a reason for what he was taking.”

Both Cooper and his wife believe the drugs masked a much deeper depression.

Cooper gave up drinking three years ago, so believes he has the willpower to succeed. Picture: Jonathan Ng

“That was from footy, I just didn’t have a clear path on where I wanted to go and that made me depressed. By the end of it I was taking the drug just to be myself,” he said.

Cooper said rehab wasn’t easy. Doctors gave him a choice of weaning off the drug slowly, which would take about six months, or stopping there and then. The first eight days were “hell”.

“I had the sweats, full anxiety, diarrhoea, vomiting, I couldn’t eat. It wasn’t nice. I’ve put up with some tough times on the footy field and that doesn’t compare to this. Man, it was hard,” he said.

“Once eight days were up and the drugs were out of my system, they put us in groups with a psychiatrist and we’d share our problems.

“We had an instructor helping us cope with that urge to have the drug again. I came out of hospital knowing damn well I would never take that drug again because I put my wife and my kids in jeopardy.

“I gave up drinking three years ago so for me I’ve got the willpower to do the same with the tablets.”

Cooper’s kids don’t know what happened other than he was treated for his neck. He hopes sharing his personal battle will serve as a cautionary tale and warned many sports men and women succumb to similar addictions.

“I am here telling my story and I hope someone, some kid, who is taking that drug takes it easy or comes clean or even just talks about it.”