Matt Caruana and Tommy Herschell give tips on how to talk to your child

Matt Caruana and Tommy Herschell spend their days working with kids on mental health and bullying — and now they want to help parents with some simple tips.

Matt Caruana was 16 when he tried to commit suicide after a year of planning and hiding how he was feeling from his family and friends.

Mr Caruana survived his attempt on his life and it was a moment that eventually led to him turning around his life to focus on helping other kids going through similar experiences.

He knows how tough it can be for parents to know what is going on in their children’s heads and believes asking genuine questions, or using a traffic light system, can often lead to a breakthrough.

“Whether it’s a change of character, or being irritable, or whatever it may be, saying: ‘Wow you’re a little bit quieter than you normally are, is everything ok?’,” he said.

“Or saying: ‘You’re a little bit more distant than you normally are, do you want to have a chat?’.”

Suicide survivor Matt Caruana says using a trafic light system to desribe his emotions helped him. Picture: Supplied

As he lay in hospital after his suicide attempt, Mr Caruana admits he was incredibly “closed off” to those who cared about him.

A psychologist recommended his parents try a traffic light system, where he simply had to pick the colour of the light – green for good, orange for unsure and red for angry – to explain how he was feeling that day.

“I didn’t have to point out the exact emotions I was feeling, but rather just by starting there, eventually those conversations became deeper and deeper,” Mr Caruana said.

“I then started saying: ‘Hey, I’m feeling quite upset today and these are the reasons why, or this is what’s been happening’.”

Tommy Herschell also spends most of his weeks helping children, travelling the country visiting classrooms to talk about bullying through his “Find Ya Feet” workshops.

When it comes to parents helping their kids who are being bullied, Mr Herschell believes one of the keys is to enlist a trusted friend who can get them through the day.

Find Ya Feet founder Tommy Herschell says kids need just one or two supportive mates. Picture: Supplied

“I always encourage parents, if you know your young fella or your daughter’s going through a bit of grief, find one friend that they’ve got that is strong.

“Ask them, ‘hey, I just need you to get around my young bloke, my daughter, and just let them know that you’re here for them’.

“And then give them the message that we only need one or two good mates … and that’s what a good friend does.

“I don’t think we hear that enough, right?”