Knox student hate ring: ‘This isn’t a case of boys will be boys. It’s not victimless filth’

Glib dismissal of “locker room talk” taints all young men with the same brush and excuses unacceptable behaviour. We all need to say this behaviour is not OK … because it’s not.

The disappointing revelations that a group of Sydney school boys have allegedly been engaging in appalling online behaviour will be unsurprising to many. The same discouraging story has been on repeat for at least a decade since social media became ubiquitous.

The basic circumstances are almost always the same: privileged (whether through gender, school, or sport) and cloistered in an all-male environment, these individuals make misogynistic, sexual, or racist comments that any decent person finds offensive.

This type of online interaction is not victimless filth. Overt displays of power and control, even online, can signal concerns related to family and domestic violence, non-consensual sexual activity, and other harms.

Why do teen boys do and say such revolting things?

Typical responses from armchair psychologists target the teenage brain. The brain, so the argument goes, won’t be developed until these boys are 25. Until then, we should expect such behaviour and attitudes. These responses are unhelpful and inaccurate.

Parenting expert Justin Coulson. Picture: Supplied.

While the brain is still developing, neurological immaturity is not a sufficient explanation for this kind of behaviour. Innumerable boys (and girls) grow through their adolescent years without even thinking these kinds of things, let alone saying or doing them.

The decades-old nudge and wink that accompanies the “boys will be boys” attitude is likewise unhelpful and inaccurate.

This glib dismissal of “locker room talk” taints all young men with the same brush and excuses unacceptable behaviour.

There is no justification for this sexist gender-based acceptance of behaviour inconsistent with 2022 society and the “boys will be boys” relic must be condemned in the strongest way.

One of the tags used by members of the chat group. Picture: Supplied

Youth who lack a strong sense of community, who are not actively involved in sport, work, and education, and who do not have involved and engaged parents are likely to behave in these anti-social ways. Boys who fail to get enough sleep, who spend too much time on screens, and who seek explicit, violent, and degrading material online are also at risk. So too are those whose parents coddle and protect them from the consequences of their actions.

These risk factors become reality because they become the bed in which a toxic culture takes root, not only allowing such behaviour, but encouraging it.

Culture is typically defined as “the collective behaviour of the group”. In other words, it’s “how we do things around here”. But perhaps a better definition, particularly in relation to this type of behaviour, is “the lowest acceptable behaviour in the group”.

Another of the offensive handles used in the secret group. Picture: Supplied

Most of what occurs online goes unnoticed. Content, to gain traction, must consistently up the stakes. More provocative content gets more reaction; more likes … more “fire”. Likes are a signal of worth and status. While our broader civil society rightly condemns this behaviour, the culture of privileged all-male adolescent environments elevates it. Young men seek status by pushing boundaries, one-upping each other, asserting dominance, and attempting to shock one another with increasingly distasteful ideas because the reward of being the most outrageous contributor to the group brings social status unattainable in any other way.

Where such incidents are discovered a response is required. A line must be drawn in the sand.

The boys who have been allegedly sharing this content need help. Perspective, empathy, understanding, life experience, and counselling are just some of the support and assistance they require.

But this will not be enough. Such incidents will continue until the culture changes. Our society is moving toward zero tolerance for certain behaviours in some places. This higher cultural expectation must exist at every level.

If these allegations are proven, the school needs to respond strongly and make an example of these boys. Parents must support the school rather than excuse their boys. Everyone involved in rearing boys into men has a part to play in raising the bar with respect to healthy masculinity: parents, teachers, coaches, and even tech companies who provide these platforms. We all need to say this behaviour is not OK … because it’s not.