‘It is a little hard to make friends in Sydney’: How people are finding connection

Loneliness affects up to one in five people globally, a new report warns - with many Sydneysiders admitting they find it hard to connect.

Alison Severs overcame loneliness thanks to joining a parkrun, a charity that organises free runs in parks and outdoor spaces. Photo: Tom Parrish

Alison Severs found her friendships changed after high school and tertiary education.

“I had friends but it seemed like we all had our own life, so it kind of got to the point where I would see people at work and then I would come home and see my family, then the next day go to work and see the same people and come home and see the same people,” Ms Sever said.

According to a new report by the World Health Organisation (WHO), global rates of loneliness hover between 17 and 21 per cent of people, with young people between the ages of 13 and 29 experiencing the most loneliness. WHO says loneliness contributes to 900,000 deaths annually.

Ms Severs found her pathway out of loneliness when she joined a parkrun club.

Christie Aucamp and Mateo Tamayo with a participant at the Aloha Sydney social event they run.

“I think what is so great about parkrun is there are often people who are there for the first time, and even when I went the first time there were a few others who were there by themselves for the first time too, so it helped me not feel so nervous,” she said.

“There’s no one to make you feel bad for being slow or fast … there’s people who can do it in 15 minutes and there’s people that take over an hour but we’re just happy to be outside.”

Ms Severs said most of her friends are now people who she met through parkrun and their interests extend beyond their weekly catch-up on Saturday.

Finding social connections is at the core of Aloha Sydney, a weekly meet-up at city bars.

Organised by Christie Aucamp and Mateo Tamayo, it was originally intended to be a way to meet new people after Covid and grew into something special for 200 every week.

“In Sydney it is a little hard to make friends in the best circumstances, but I think after Covid people were hungry to connect again,” Tamayo said.

One of the particular challenges is for young people who come from overseas to study. The new city combined with language barriers makes it difficult to meet new people.

Aloha hopes to create a space where people can feel comfortable to come and find someone who speaks their language, or wants to learn their language and help both sides overcome any social isolation.

Alison Severs said most of her friends are now people who she met through parkrun. Picture: Tom Parrish

“A lot of people come alone and they think they are weird for that but I tell them not to worry, so are half the people here,” Aucamp said.

But running and large scale social events aren’t everyone’s cup of tea. For those who may want an actual cup of tea there are clubs where you can take solo activities and turn it into an occasion to make friends.

Pia Kandarjah and Eva Pelemachou run the To Be Read book club.

“There is that common denominator of everyone having read the same book, so conversation is so accessible,” Pelemachou said.

“I’s hard walking into a room of people and not knowing anyone but it’s easier to walk up to someone and say: ‘Hey what did you think of the book?’ It’s easy to get past the awkward small talk.”

CALL FOR MINISTER FOR LONELINESS

A Minister for Loneliness has been proposed as part of urgent reforms to tackle the growing mental health crisis plaguing Australians, as a new international report finds one in six people across the world feels lonely.

The affliction is also blamed for almost 900,000 deaths around the world each year, according to a landmark report by the World Health Organisation (WHO).

Ending Loneliness Together CEO Michelle Lim – a contributor to the report – declared now is the time for the Albanese government to act.

“Japan and the UK have appointed ministers for loneliness – the reason being is that it doesn’t fit nicely into any one portfolio,” Ms Lim, also a principal research fellow at the Sydney School of Public Health, told The Telegraph.

“Governments have tried to shepherd (the issue) somewhere – but what we really need is a comprehensive national strategy to address this across different sectors – to really work together to address loneliness in a much more holistic way.

“Regardless if we have a minister or not, we don’t have a comprehensive strategy.”

The WHO’s social connection report, released last week, also stated the health care and economic cost of loneliness to Australia was about $2.7 billion annually.

Ending Loneliness Together has previously called on the government to investigate creating a new minister specifically to tackle loneliness.

Ms Lim said in the wake of the report being released, it was time for the government to do more.

“It is now really timely – it’s a shame to see we haven’t really done anything,” she said.

“We’ve got the costings, we know the problem, let’s have a plan – let’s see where governments can get value for money in terms of putting it into these investments, and seeing how do we respond accordingly (to soaring loneliness rates)

“This problem isn’t going to go away.”

Ending Loneliness Together CEO Michelle Lim says we need to work together to address loneliness in a much more holistic way. Picture: /Jane Dempster

A spokesman for assistant minister for mental health and suicide prevention Emma McBride said the government had made major strides in addressing issues surrounding loneliness.

“We recognise the importance of social connection for people at home, school, work and in the community,” he said.

“That’s why the Albanese Labor Government has invested in free programs to offer social connection and provide mental health and wellbeing support to all Australians.

“We’ve established Perinatal Mental Health Centres for expectant and new parents, Kids Hubs for young children and families, headspace services for young people, and Medicare Mental Health Centres for adults and older people.

“We’re setting up the National Early Intervention Service so that everyone can access free support online or on the phone when experiencing distress and mental ill-health.

“We’re also proud to support community programs like Men’s Sheds that support people experiencing social isolation and provide opportunities for people to connect.”

The WHO’s report found loneliness is “common everywhere”, affects males and females about equally, and is spread among all age groups.

Young people aged 13 to 29 felt the loneliest, with global rates of loneliness hovering between 17 and 21 per cent.