‘I relished every moment’: Mums over 40 on the rise

When Julie Sweet had her first baby she was 47. While doctors looked at her age as an issue during pregnancy, she said it was actually one of her biggest assets.

In three years Sydneysider Julie Sweet will celebrate her 50th — and her son’s third birthday.

While her age was looked at by doctors as an issue during her journey to motherhood, she viewed it as one of her biggest assets.

And when she gave birth at age 47, following years of IVF and fertility treatments, it was a feeling of “complete euphoria”.

“Age was on my side in some ways, it was a value-add for me, not a deficit,” she said.

“I felt very confident in myself and my body mostly, and was much more mentally healthy than I was in my 20s or 30s.”

Julie Sweet and her eight-month-old baby boy. Picture: Sam Ruttyn

Twenty years ago, it was rare for women to fall pregnant in their 40s, but in the current day it’s becoming increasingly popular, with more than 90 babies born to mums over the age of 40 every week in NSW.

In the past two decades, the number of bubs born to mums in their 40s has doubled, from 2342 in 2000, to 4753 babies in 2021.

In 2019, 86 women were aged 50 or older when they gave birth, compared to 53 women in 2011, 22 in 2006 and just 11 in 1996, according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics.

For many mums, career goals and travel took precedence in their 20s and 30s, leaving them to start their journeys to conceive in their 40s — which brings a raft of challenges, both mental, physical and financial.

For others, finding the right person to dive into the world of parenthood came later in life, along with the realisation that it was something they wanted to do.

Ms Sweet welcomed a beautiful baby boy eight months ago, after meeting her partner at the age of 42.

Nicole Kidman had her first child, Sunday Rose, at the age of 40 in 2008. Picture: Chris Dyson / BACKGRID

“I sat in that space of not knowing (if I wanted to be a mum) and really only knowing that a family or child would be an extension of the love I have for a partner,” she said.

“When I met my now-partner we decided that we wanted a family and started trying for a child around a year into our relationship.”

In her 20s and 30s, Ms Sweet was focused on her social lifestyle, study, her career and travelling.

And though trying for a baby through IVF in her 40s came with a set of deep challenges, she still believes her age did not disservice her entirely.

It was her age and life experience that helped her navigate the toll of nine rounds of IVF and a miscarriage. It was her age that helped her look beyond the statistics that she had only a 3 per cent chance of falling pregnant. And it was her age that helped her admit when she needed help.

Julie Sweet said she relished every moment of her pregnancy. Picture: Sam Ruttyn

“After we lost the baby through miscarriage, I was anxious and depressed but we decided to resume again, even though I was very scared,” she said.

“I had one egg remaining and I fell pregnant.”

Despite the fact her pregnancy was deemed high-risk, Ms Sweet “loved every minute” and felt mentally and physically strong.

“I was so shocked it was happening for me, I relished every moment,” she said.

The moment her baby boy arrived, she was completely euphoric, and that feeling hasn’t worn off almost a year later.

In 1975, less than 20 per cent of births were to mothers who were between 30 and 39 years old, but now nearly 60 per cent of births are to mothers in this age group.

Dr David Molloy, Director of Medical Affairs at Virtus Health, said there was “no doubt” women were delaying pregnancy across the country, noting the average age of women visiting his practice for fertility assistance was 36 and above.

“It used to be 33 but now it’s moved upwards,” he said.

“The whole affordability issue has been pushing childbirth or pregnancy back (in terms of age) because people want to be settled, they want to own a home.

“There’s also the matter of partnering with someone and deciding to have children with them, which is also happening later.”

Sonia Kruger, pictured with daughter Maggie, became pregnant at age 48. Picture: Justin Lloyd

The oldest woman in Australia to become a mother was reportedly 62 years old, and hailed from the state of Tasmania.

But the likelihood of falling pregnant naturally significantly diminishes to just 5 per cent by the time a woman is 40.

“A single attempt on the IVF program for a 41-year-old will have about a 13 per cent chance of delivering a baby,” Dr Molloy said.

In recent years, Australian female celebrities like Sonia Kruger, Michelle Bridges, Fifi Box and Nicole Kidman have fallen pregnant in their early to late 40s, but Dr Molloy said that shouldn’t be used as a source of hope for everyday women.

“I have women come to see me who say ‘well I saw a celebrity and she had a baby at 48’,” he said.

“The patients can be quite driven and find it difficult to accept the message that they may not be the case for them.”

Julie Muir with husband Cameron and their son Solas. Picture: supplied

At the age of 45, IVF is no longer subsidised in the public system, meaning women often have to spend huge amounts of money to try to conceive in the private system. Many women of that age also rely on donor eggs.

Dr Frank Quinn, from IVF Australia, said the number of women freezing their eggs in their 20s and 30s had drastically increased, with women visiting him every week to discuss the option.

“The success of it is a lot better than what it was 10 years ago,” he said.

“But again, the take-home message is if you’re going to do egg freezing, you’ve got to do it before you’re 35 because the eggs are better quality and you get more of them.”

Julie Muir was 40 when her baby boy, Solas, was born.

When she married partner Cameron in 2009, most people expected their next logical step to be “a stroller and baby wipes”, but they had other plans and took a 10-month trip around the world.

“After years of spirited debates and a few rounds of ‘to baby or not to baby’ we decided to take the plunge and start trying in 2013 while travelling around Africa,” she said.

But their journey to a baby took seven tough years, several rounds of IVF and four heart-wrenching miscarriages.

“The costs aren’t just monetary; they’re measured in missed days from work, moments of tearful frustration, and the constant emotional toll that comes with each step of this journey,” she said.

But, three months before her 40th birthday, a positive at-home test confirmed Ms Muir was pregnant. It wasn’t the beautiful experience she had hoped, however, with her prior experiences robbing her of the joy of pregnancy.

But all of that fell away when her beautiful boy arrived in October 2020.

Ms Muir refuses to delve into the world of “what-ifs” and what could have happened if she and her husband tried to conceive earlier. Instead she is grateful to have a happy and healthy little boy.

The Muirs’ travel bug hasn’t faded either, in fact it’s become “toddler friendly”.

“We’re going to be house and pet-sitting our way around the globe with the mini-me in tow because we are determined to dispel the myth that parenthood isn’t compatible with adventures,” Ms Muir said.

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