How NSW schools can tackle a rise in bullying

Many parents suspect their child has experienced bullying in the playground, while others are worried their little one could be the culprit.

Little boy sitting alone on floor after suffering an act of bullying while children run in the background. Sad young schoolboy sitting on corridor with hands on knees and head between his legs.

We all remember the playground bully.

They were the reason we walked home the long way, sought refuge in the library and invented stomach pains to avoid going to school.

About one in four Australian students still experience bullying in some form with 10 per cent missing school once a month, according to the Australian Covert Bullying Prevalence Study.

A recent Tip Top survey of more than 1000 respondents found 44 per cent of NSW caregivers suspect their child has experienced bullying in the playground, while almost half are concerned talking about bullying will instil fear in their child about potentially negative implications of attending school.

About one in four Australian students still experience bullying in some form with 10 per cent missing school once a month.

Shockingly, 48 per cent are concerned their child could be a bully and therefore avoid raising the topic. And 60 per cent aren’t sure their child would have the confidence to stand up to bullying in school.

But five little words can change a life – “You Can Sit With Me” – which is also the name of a peer-led program teaming up with Tip Top to drive social inclusion in primary schools and encourage children to “break bread” together and reduce feelings of loneliness.

But how does one of Australia’s leading bread manufacturers fit into this? Brett Grebert of Tip Top says it’s simple.

“A healthy, balanced diet often leads to a healthier mind, particularly for our young people,” he says.

“Having a nutritious lunch helps kids form friendships, build resilience and grow confidence. We know lunchtime is often when kids can feel lonely, so coming together to break bread and share a nutritious lunch together can only foster kindness and inclusivity.”

You Can Sit With Me founder Sophie Sparks started the program after returning to teaching.

“I found there was still that same old problem in the playground where children would say they had nobody to sit with or nobody to play with,” she says.

“Whilst schools are filled with empathetic children, they can be hard to identify. However, You Can Sit With Me solves that problem. A highly visible yellow wristband welcomes children to sit with them regardless of their age, race, religion, gender or disability. Gone is the embarrassing buddy bench that highlights isolation.”

The program also provides schools with free training to address loneliness, isolation and bullying.

Sydney mum Kirrilea with her daughter, Nellie.

NELLIE’S STORY

Sydney mother Kirrilea says the program has helped her daughter Nellie, 12, learn how to identify that many children feel the same way she was feeling when she was bullied, including experiencing isolation and self-doubt.

“Being an ambassador has given Nellie the confidence to ask other students if they were OK and if they needed a friend to talk to,” she says.

“Nellie was very open and honest to both my husband and I about what was happening with her peers. We have explained that sometimes a person that is bullying, it’s more likely than not, they are lacking self-worth in themselves or facing their own issues at home or school.

“We have reinforced to them that if they know they haven’t done anything wrong, they need to understand that sometimes it’s best to leave and walk away from the situation and do what is best for their wellbeing, and always talk to a friend, teacher or parent about how they are feeling.

“We are very grateful Nellie has always held her head high and retaliation just isn’t in her nature.”

Nellie says: “No one should ever feel isolated just because they may be different in looks, race or have a disability. I think for me it was jealousy, because all I wanted was to make the school playground a nicer place. I also was told I was ugly. These children need to understand how this can make someone feel.”

THE LESSONS

Kirrilea is urging NSW schools to further educate children about bullying.

“After many meetings, the initiative was welcomed into Nellie’s primary school and also implemented into the school’s anti-bullying plan,” she says.

“Nellie’s principal was so proud of Nellie and how it had made such a positive impact in the playground that they had a You Can Sit With Me wall plaque made in Nellie’s honour that proudly displays when the initiative was implemented into the primary school.”

Last December, Nellie received the Premier’s Respect Award and the Parliamentary Award for her contribution to not only her school but the wider community as well.

If you’re a parent who struggles to approach their child about bullying, Sparks suggests you ask them how they are feeling, stay calm and listen, remind them that they are not alone or get support from the school councillor.

More than 270 NSW schools are involved in the initiative and it’s not too late to join them. Find out how at youcansitwithme.org