Aussie summers: If it’s not driza bone, it’s drowning

SUMMERS are always a bit of a trial; the bits which aren’t drought-stricken or storm-wracked are either on fire, under water or bracing for cyclones.

FOLKS, Australian summers are always a bit of a trial; the bits which aren't drought-stricken or storm-wracked are either on fire, under water or bracing for cyclones.

You know, I'm starting to think this country doesn't like us.

But lately I've been wondering if this summer has actually been hotter than Satan's armpit, or I'm getting softer because of air-conditioning; possibly a combination of the two.

Recently I did hear that this year is lining up to be the hottest on record, and normally I'd double check a statement like that, but I'm too hot and bothered to be bothered.

Fortunately I have a much more accurate way of checking just how hot it is: The Dog Bucket Test.

Normally, when our dogs see me approaching with a bucket and "that" look in my eye, they immediately do their best to be someplace else.

But for the past month they've just sat there and let me drench them repeatedly with buckets of tepid tap water.

Now I didn't need to torment our dogs to know that this year has been hotter than burnt toast.

Each night the screams from the bathroom confirm that the cold water pipes running through our roof are still producing steam, and mowing the lawn has become an exercise in death defiance, no matter what time of night I attempt it.

Fortunately, here at Bray Manor, there are still a couple of air-conditioners whose internal circuits haven't been fried by geckos, so we can crank them up for some cooling relief.

But I'm wondering if this is making me less able to cope with rising temperatures.

Because if summers continue to heat up, then it's going to be a real trial for me to stagger out of the cool, air-conditioned indoors to drench our panting dogs.

Greg Bray blogs at http://www.gregbraywriter.wordpress.com. Find him on Facebook: Greg Bray - Writer.

Originally published as Aussie summers: If it’s not driza bone, it’s drowning