Ellidy Pullin: ‘Is she real? I still pinch myself’

Ellidy Pullin still finds herself in waves of grief over the loss of Alex ‘Chumpy’ - but a little miracle keeps her smiling, writes Lisa Mayoh.

She may be all smiles in a social media flurry of overseas holidays and beach days with her mini-me Minnie – but in reality, life is far harder for Ellidy Pullin.

There are some days she can’t get out of bed. Ignoring her phone, the messages, life on the outside – because that’s what grief does. Sometimes you smile. Other times you can’t imagine ever smiling again – but as she says, you keep going, because you have to.

“I definitely feel like I just don’t have a choice,” the widow of late snowboarding champion and Olympian Alex ‘Chumpy’ Pullin tells Insider.

“I feel like so many people are always like ‘oh, you’re so happy and smiley – do you ever get sad’ – and I can’t even explain to you how down I’ve been the last two weeks.

“For the first time in years, I literally just hibernated.

“I didn’t want to talk to anyone.

“I was in Sydney and all my friends were hitting me up going, ‘you’re fucking here, let’s hang out’ and I was just ‘hey, please just give me a breather. I can’t talk right now. I can’t see anyone I’m actually so down’.

Ellidy Pullin with daughter Minnie. Picture: Max Mason-Hubers

Alex 'Chumpy' Pullin with Ellidy. Picture: Instagram

“And that’s a new-ish development for me to just stop and sit in that.

“I’m exhausted even coming out of it – but I think it’s healthy to do that.

“It doesn’t happen often for me, just because I’m quite a practical, realistic person and I just get on with it.

“There’s just no choice.

“I hate the thought of being a victim and just sitting in stagnant grief – I just need to move through it all the time – that’s kind of how I deal.”

It was on July 8, 2020, that everything changed for her. It was a ‘perfect winter’s day’ on the Gold Coast, where the pair had lived for three years and were planning to raise a family. Chumpy went spearfishing at their local beach and never came home. He had experienced a ‘shallow water blackout’ and a surfer discovered his body in the water, but it was too late.

Ellidy with daughter Minnie. Picture: Max Mason-Hubers

If that’s not heartbreaking enough, in her state of shock Ellidy had to make a fast decision to do a post-mortem sperm retrieval to have the family they once dreamt of.

Enter Minnie. The toddler will be two this month and despite it all, makes her Narrabeen-born, Gold Coast-based model mum smile every single day.

“I think she’s definitely starting to look a little bit more like me now, which I’m so sad about because I loved how much she looked like him,” she says.

“But hey, she’s so got his personality,” she laughs.

“She’s definitely pretty loud, which she gets from me for sure, but she’s definitely got this adventurous energy … you can see her little brain wanting to explore and learn – I can see her being creative and she loves music.

Ellidy announcing the birth of Minnie.

Ellidy took to Instagram to share news she was pregnant.

“I think she gets a lot of that from him because I am very happy go lucky, I don’t want to overcomplicate things – whereas I think she’s going to be so fascinated by everything and have this urge to learn.”

Their shoot for Insider is the perfect example of #mumlife, she laughs, after having to change outfits minutes before the shoot when Minnie had a not-so-little accident – all over both of them.

“Oh my God, it was so f***ing funny,” she laughs.

“She shat all over me a minute before we were shooting – we were walking with the photographer to this grassy bit and she just pooed everywhere – all over my pants and stomach – it was disgusting – and so we had to shower and everything … it was pretty funny.

“Isn’t that mum life, to a tee?

“But she is the best.

“I often literally have to go – hang on, is she real? I mean she’s freaking annoying like every other kid, don’t get me wrong – but I do pinch myself all the time.

“I’m the luckiest person ever.”

Late snowboarding champion and Olympian Alex ‘Chumpy’ Pullin.

Through it all, she doesn’t stop. Whether it’s her podcast Darling, Shine! with best friend and wife of DJ Fisher, Chloe, her new sunglasses collaboration Luv Lou X Ellidy, or her moving memoir Heartstrong – when asked how she does it – well it’s like everything else. She just does.

“With great difficulty – I’m always just like a stressed, tired mess,” she laughs.

“Life is just so busy – I never imagined it could be this busy.

“I remember when I was pregnant I was so busy and then I had the baby it got even more even crazy – and now I’m like, I don’t know if I’ll ever feel chilled again.

“As in, I can relax and hang out and I am chilled – but I’ll never feel like I don’t have a massive to-do list.”

She was also one of the first to sport a ‘In Pieces’ tattoo – an initiative that raises money for suicide and mental health by supporting the Chumpy Pullin Foundation. To do that, In Pieces has inked hundreds of people with individual puzzle pieces, which form one big work, linking participants to the cause, and each other. Their work will culminate in ‘Life Without Andy’ – an ‘In Pieces Gala’ at Sydney’s Ivy Ballroom on November 10.

“You all feel like united and create a community … it’s just that solidarity – like we’re doing something good together,” she says.

“I actually went to an event last night, and there was a bunch of guys who had just gotten a tattoo and they’re like, ‘Oh, my God, we got it too’ – and it was huge.

A beach ceremony in memory of Chumpy. Picture: NCA NewsWire / Daniel Pockett

“It’s so beautiful and is definitely creating a little community.

“A friend called me the other day and was like ‘hey, can we make another documentary on Chump?’ – it’s so beautiful that I have such a sick, amazing crew of beautiful humans that want to rally around Chump when he’s not here, and do projects that people can learn more about him.

“I’m so blessed, honestly it makes me cry.

“I don’t think Chump would be able to believe or comprehend it – I know he’d be watching from above and all that, but he would be gobsmacked at the love and support and the longing for him that so many people have, and the support that I’m getting.”

While Chumpy was a champion snowboarder, the love of his life was more a beach bunny than a snow bunny. So the ocean is her happy place – she won’t allow it to be a trigger, despite how he died.

“His favourite thing was definitely the ocean – he was actually such a fish at heart,” she says.

“He grew up sailing yachts with his family from when he was two months old, literally living on a boat.

“So whenever I’m in the water, if I’m alone or going under waves I’m always like ‘oh hey Chump’.

“I’ve always felt like he was in the ocean and if ever I get emotional, the ocean makes me feel like that.

“The beach and the ocean is my happy place – I’ll never let that be a trigger or a sad place to go.”

The In Pieces Gala will be held on November 10. For tickets, visit inpiecesevents.raisely.com