Charlotte’s Wish: Grieving parents meet with authorities at bullying roundtable

Two of the state’s most senior ministers have vowed to sharpen focus on consequences for bullies in schools in an emotionally-charged meeting with parents whose children were bullied to death.

Two of the state’s most senior ministers have vowed to sharpen focus on consequences for bullies in schools in an emotionally charged meeting with parents whose children were bullied to death.

The promise was made at a roundtable on bullying, convened by The Sunday Telegraph, where government ministers sat down with grieving families, mental health experts and school principals to explore the problems and begin to chart a way forward.

Education Minister and Deputy Premier Prue Car and Minister for Youth and Mental Health Rose Jackson met with the parents of Charlotte O’Brien and the mother of Tilly Rosewarne – two young girls who committed suicide after relentless bullying.

Emma Mason (left) and Kelly O’Brien have both lost young daughters to suicide. Pictures: Rohan Kelly

The meeting heard how:

● There needs to be tougher consequences for bullies and greater use of suspensions.

● Quicker action must be taken when parents or students report bullying.

● Teachers are not equipped to deal with toxic behaviours.

● Resourcing means teachers do not have support to deal with the problem particularly in regional areas.

● Independent investigations and record keeping must be improved.

Charlotte O’Brien with her adored younger brother Will. Picture: Supplied by her family

Tilly Rosewarne was 15 when she took her life after years of bullying. Picture: Supplied

Parents, experts and policy makers agreed there needed to be an audit across the sector of what works and what doesn’t – similar to the types of record keeping and investigation standards across the health system.

The roundtable, held at The Sunday Telegraph offices on Thursday, was the first meeting between Kelly O’Brien and Emma Mason – mums to Charlotte and Tilly.

The pair, who had been in constant touch over the phone in the months since Charlotte’s death, embraced for a long time, sharing an understanding few can imagine.

“I reach out to lots of mums who lose their children,” Ms Mason said. “So few of us actually know what that’s like and sometimes that text and that phone call in the middle of the night or in the early hours in the morning are things that can just keep them okay. Just able to hold on for another day.”

The event came just days ahead of a major meeting this week to begin work on the statewide approach to bullying in NSW schools, to be convened by Ms Car.

It was the suicide note of 12-year-old Charlotte, who asked her parents to raise awareness about bullying, which has sparked the drive for change.

Youth and Mental Health Minister Rose Jackson became emotional during the meeting. Picture: Rohan Kelly

Both ministers became emotional when talking about their own children and their concerns, not just as policy makers but as parents of kids in the vulnerable age bracket.

“I myself have three little people at home ranging from nearly 14 to 10, so they’re right in that age of concern,” Ms Car said. “I do think there is not a single issue that concerns parents in Australia more than this right now.”

She said it took “some really special people to be able to use your voice for a period of pain to be able to make a change”.

WATCH CHARLOTTE’S WISH DOCUMENTARY HERE

“Things will come from this, and that’s evidenced by the fact that it’s pretty rare to get a group of people like this around a table: leading media voices, actual decision makers,” she said. “A lot of schools are doing amazing things, some aren’t. So we have to make sure that there is a framework that everyone is working under because children being safe has got to be the No. 1 priority.”

The minister said the standard should include empowering leaders in schools to be able to use suspensions and expulsions as a tool “because actions have consequences”.

“I think that needs to be part of the standard that we use because we need to support kids with their mental health, but we also need to set an example to other children that there are consequences,” she said.

Minister Jackson revealed she had a little girl the same age with the same name as Charlotte. “So there’s nothing that is more important to me than her safety,” an emotional Ms Jackson said.

Education Minister Prue Car said the roundtable would lead to change. Picture: Rohan Kelly

She said mental health support was vital for parents and for young people, “but it’s not intended as an effort to excuse perpetrator behaviour and holding people to account”.

She said the person causing another child to have “a tough time” must have the behaviour addressed and “there must be consequences for actions”.

“They need to learn at that adolescent age that actions have consequences,” she said.

Ian Hickie, co-director of health and policy at the University of Sydney’s Brain and Mind Centre, said frameworks needed to be put in place, procedures implemented and their success and failure monitored.

“When things go wrong in the health system, we don’t just leave it up to any hospital or any group to say, ‘Did you do enough?’ We have an investigative process, we have transparency about what happens. We have standards,” he said.

Prof Hickie warned the time for talking was over.

“The legislative framework is important, but it needs to get specific, not just guidelines … specific on what schools need to be doing in the 21st century since we’ve got a 21st century set of issues,” he said.

“And on the investigative side, we need to have standards about how that is done and then how it’s reported and then how the data is collated.

“Without those things in place, the danger is we get a repetition of things and after a certain period of time, we’re back where we were.”