Miriam Rullis passes away after battling brain tumour

Funeral director Victor Rullis has helped countless other Coffs Harbour families in their time of grief. Now he and his children are grieving the loss of their brave wife and mum after her private health battle. SPECIAL TRIBUTE

Miriam Rullis is laid to rest at her family's private cemetery.

The Rullis family has helped countless other Coffs Harbour families in their time of grief.

Now they are grieving the loss of their matriarch Miriam who died on Friday, February 11, after battling a grade 4 glioblastoma brain tumour.

Her husband Victor took a shovel at the weekend and broke the ground on the first plot on their recently approved private cemetery at their property Miriamvale in Lowanna.

The couple’s four children each took turns digging the grave and Miriam was laid to rest in a coffin adorned with one of her favourite flowers – sunflowers.

“She designed the coffin herself,” Victor said.

One of her favourite kinds of flowers were sunflowers.

“She was the most incredibly creative person, she could turn a pig’s ear into a silk purse.

“She would stay up until all hours to make things for people and give them away.”

How young love began

“You’re a good sort, do you want to go out?”

These were some of Miriam’s first words to Victor when they met in Sydney as teenagers working for the taxation department.

Her job was admin and his was to locate files so they had lots of spare time to explore the city and fall in love.

Victor and Miriam met when they were teenagers in Sydney.

They were married in Liverpool in 1988 when Miriam was 20.

After the mundane pace of the taxation department the young couple went to work in the funeral industry.

Mizzy, as she came to be known, had grown up in New Zealand and moved to Australia at the age of 12.

Her married name Miriam Maakete Nori Rullis reflected her heritage and she was one of the founders of the Coffs Harbour Mauri cultural group.

After working for another funeral company for many years and with four young children it was time for a change and they came to Coffs Harbour seeking a quieter lifestyle and looking to establish their own business.

Victor and Miriam Rullis in the 90s.

New beginnings

In the mid 90s they established Victor Rullis Funeral Services when, according to Victor, there was only one other funeral director in town.

“She was the driving force – it was my name but she was the cog – the visionary,” Victor said.

“I called her ‘the boss’.

“She was in the background but she told me where to go and what to do.”

Miriam Rullis was born in New Zealand and was proud of her Maori heritage.

From her creativity to her generous nature. Victor recalled the many ways she touched the community.

“You know she fostered over 50 kids,” he said.

“She was a foster kid herself.”

The children would stay in the family home. Many of them were abused and it was a real challenge.

“It was a real roller coaster and we just had to get off it in the end,” Victor said.

Kept forgetting names

As Victor recalls, everything seemed to come in fours.

She was born on the 4th, diagnosed on October 4, 2020 with a grade 4 tumour. She passed away at 4am, February 11 at the age of 54.

“She kept forgetting things – forgetting names – couldn’t get words out,” Victor said.

“She had been to the doctor and they said to slow down and take some time off...have a break.

“We were in Sydney to celebrate her father’s birthday and I noticed she couldn’t stop her right fingers from moving.”

Miriam was taken to hospital soon after the mini seizure.

There doctors discovered her brain tumour.

“She never once complained; she was very private about it,” Victor said.

“She didn’t want people to feel sorry for her because her Christian faith was her strength and truth.”

The Rullis family with their four children married before their church community.

Her determination allowed her to hide it for some time with family members covering for her – finishing off stories or filling in the blanks when she would falter.

Miriam underwent chemotherapy, radiation and an operation to remove sections of the tumour but as Victor explained, the tumour was like a spider web.

Navigating the health system was an eye opener for the family and they decided the only option was to care for Miriam at home.

The necessary equipment was purchased- which will be donated to other families with similar circumstances.

Loved to celebrate

Miriam’s last outing was to the Ulong RSL to celebrate her 54th birthday and enjoy one last glass of red wine.

She returned home exhausted and slept for seven days before taking her last breath on February 11.

“The rooster crowed and I heard her take her last breath,” Victor said.

“Ten minutes later her heart stopped and the rooster crowed again.

“Throughout all of it I had never once saw her cry. Until the night before she passed her family surrounded her and sung ‘You are my sunshine’, and a tear rolled down her cheek. She always said to keep talking to her till the end as hearing is the last sense to go”

Victor Rullis breaks ground on his wife Miriam's grave.

Miriam loved to celebrate - she even had a chemo party before her first round of treatment with family dressed in matching pyjamas.

Celebrating their love was also a high priority.

Victor and Miriam were married three times: pre-children, as a family with their church community and a recommitment ceremony after her diagnosis.

A celebration of Miriam’s life will be held at the C.ex club auditorium in Coffs Harbour on March 4 at 11am and family and friends are welcome.