From Tinder to old school, how to find love on the North Coast

From ‘Tinderella stories’ through to meeting the love of your life through old school ways, we asked experts and lovers their secrets. Prepare to be surprised.

For an increasing number, it’s a modern day ‘Tinderella story’ for those looking for love on the NSW North Coast in 2022.

Local marriage celebrants are in the box seat for knowing how people meet these days - and dating apps like Tinder are becoming the vehicle of choice for those chasing romance.

Not that old school methods of finding ‘the one’ have disappeared.

Work, mutual friends, social and sport clubs - all remain solid ways for an introduction to a potential partner.

Couples who were high school sweethearts - tying the knot years later - remains a significant player.

Perhaps even more so with just about everyone on social media platforms like Facebook.

Pre ‘the book’, school friends would move on and become ‘lost’ soon after the final Year 12 graduation assembly.

We caught up with local couples and marriage celebrants to dig the lay of the land on how people find love in the new world.

Celebrant Jay Gibson, Lismore

“A lot more of my couples have found each other online. It used to be people who were high school sweethearts or had met at work, but there’s been a big shift to online and they come from completely different walks of life.”

Mr Gibson said the spectre of Covid and lockdowns had increased online engagement.

“Back in the day you’d go to a bar and if you found someone attractive you’d buy them a drink,” he said.

Couple Ryan Pearce and Jessie New, Northern Rivers

Football players Jessie from Caniaba and Ryan from Wollongbar are getting married in February.

“We met on Plenty of Fish (an online dating service) in 2016 and the rest is history,” Jessie said.

“We were planning to marry in December but because of Covid, pushed it back to February.

“We hadn’t met previously which is pretty amazing as we found out we had so many mutual friends through soccer.”

Celebrant Victoria Armstrong, Ballina

“A lot of people are meeting online, particularly the Millennials, they are all over it.

“It’s their tinderella story.

“About a third of my couples met online, the rest is a mix between meeting at school, meeting mutually through friends, at work, and then lesser through sports and hobbies.”

Ms Armstrong, who is in her 40s, said back in the day you “met in the pub, had a pash and he was your boyfriend”.

She has noticed that many young people are tying the knot these days, whereas that was not the case in the 90s.

Couple Scott and Renee Marshall, Valla

Scott and Renee met at the V-Wall Tavern (at Nambucca Heads) in August 2015.

“I had a friend who I was living with who worked at the tavern at the time and she knew Scott because he used to have afternoon drinks there,” Renee said.

So her friend “more or less got in both of our ears” and Scott sent her a friend request on Facebook a couple of days after they first met.

“That’s how it all started.

“I think Scotty and I both went into it, not expecting anything out of it but fun, but it quickly got serious and didn’t take long for Scott to use the L-word. Which was shocking, but welcomed.

They moved in together about three months into their relationship.

“He proposed nearly five years exactly after we met and now six-and-a-half years later we’re married!”

Celebrant Cindy Pocock, Coffs Coast

“It’s a mixed bag. I’ve done a couple of weddings lately where they were childhood sweethearts and there’s also people who meet on apps.

On matchmakers she said: “I haven’t heard of that for a very long time. Maybe we should go back to the old ways and marriages might last longer.”

Ms Pocock said she used to do 40 to 50 weddings a year - but there’s been a decline in available venues on the Coffs Coast - so today she would officiate at 25 to 30 unions in a year.

Couple Rob and Gabby McCabe-Manning, Coffs Coast

Gabby met Rob “through good old Tinder”.

They were married in August, “but we’ll be having our shindig later this year”.

Their initial chats on the dating app were fuelled when Gabby discovered her girlfriend was dating Rob’s best mate.

But there was a bigger surprise ahead for Gabby, born and bred in Coffs, and Rob who moved to the coast from Brisbane in 2014.

“I took Rob home to meet the family and it turned out he already knew them through sport - he just didn’t realise I was on the end of that family. I was mind-blown,” Gabby said.

Celebrant Susie Roberts, Clarence Valley

“People meet in a myriad of ways and their stories are always different.

“They meet through work, friends, dating apps, church, social groups and at the beach.”

Ms Roberts, a celebrant since 2007, was this week marrying a couple who first met 50 years ago at school.

“Some weddings take a little bit longer to percolate.

“A lot of emphasis these days is through dating apps and dating services, or they’ve been introduced by a friend.

“I’ve had a lot of work over Covid where couples have decided: ‘We’re not going to do the big wedding we’re just going to get married’.”

Ms Roberts had noticed a big trend toward no-frills weddings, often set in a backyard, “where it’s very relaxed”.

Couple Nathan and Simone Sharp, Tweed Heads

Simone from Wollongbar and Nathan from Pottsville met through sport - AFL.

“Nathan was playing for the Tweed Coast Tigers and I was playing for the women’s team in 2020,” Simone said.

“Last year we officially became a couple and got married in November.

“Nathan would say it was love at first sight for him but I took a bit of coercing.”

Celebrant Heidi Robertson, Byron Bay

“I have been married for 16 years and we didn’t have internet dating back then, we just met at work.

She says over 50 per cent of the couples she marries have met through a dating app, such as Tinder or Bumble.

“Tinder is right up there for people who are coming out of longtime relationships or marriages.

“Some people specifically ask me not to mention how they met because they think their grandparents won’t approve if it’s a dating app.

“With some I marry they’ve revealed they were just about to give up on dating apps because they’d had so many bad experiences and then they find the one.”

Celebrant Ann Dally, Terranora

“They more or less fall into three categories - young couples who met at school, senior couples, and by that I mean 70-plus (years of age) and 65 per cent met online.”

Ms Dally said any stigma attached to finding love online was largely gone.

“It’s the only way that a lonely person can meet another person. It’s a matter of knowing how to get out there.”

While not as common, Ms Dally - who has conducted 1700 weddings and trains celebrants nationally - said funerals were also a starting point for future unions.

“The oldest couple I’ve (married) were 88 and 93 at the time, and the youngest were both 18,” she said.